[Xe]

AIBU for telling my fiance he committed theft by gifting his nephew the gift I bought for my sick brother?​

My (F30) brother (M16) was born with a heart condition that prevented him from living his childhood to the fullest and doing his favorite activities. He can't do most things due to his condition and the side effects his medication has on him.

My parents have always struggled with money because of medical bills and unfortunately, they can not afford to buy my brother nice things. For example, he always wanted a console to play with. He only gets to play when my uncle and cousins visit and bring their console.

My brother has been feeling sad and lonely recently after his doctors recommended that visits be limited. I decided to use my salary to get him his own console and wait till Christmas to give it to him. I bought an Xbox that has been sitting in my closet until I discovered that my fiance took it and sent it to his nephew who lives states away.

I was in dismay I confronted him about it asking why he took the Xbox knowing it was supposed to be a gift for my brother. He said he knew but explained his sister is a single mom and couldn't buy any gifts for her son nor are they receiving gifts from the family since they're all ignoring her after giving her money so they think they've done enough. He told me he felt sorry for his nephew and wanted to cheer him up but didn't have money so he thought that he could send him the Xbox and then we'd figure out what I'm going to gift my brother together.

I told him he had no right to touch the Xbox and said that what he did was theft which made him upset and somewhat shocked. He said he was very hurt I essentially called him a thief when he thought that I cared about our nephew as much as he does and explained my brother does not need the Xbox since he can't find time to play due to his condition and also not finding playmates because of his condition.

I told him my brother is still capable and he was making it seem as if he wasn't, but he argued he didn't mean it this way, just that he was hurt that I called his good deed "theft". I stood by what I said and demanded he either pay for the Xbox or pay me but he acted more hurt calling me callous and mean to take a gift from a child like that but I said I didn't gift his nephew this device and so it is not my problem.

He gave me complete silence and then went to stay at a hotel for 3 days saying I was being unfair to him and hurt him deeply. The problem still stands and he is counting on me to let it go and see that he was just helping his sister and nephew out. AIBU?

 

[Lindyloo]

My (F30) brother (M16) was born with a heart condition that prevented him from living his childhood to the fullest and doing his favorite activities. He can't do most things due to his condition and the side effects his medication has on him.

My parents have always struggled with money because of medical bills and unfortunately, they can not afford to buy my brother nice things. For example, he always wanted a console to play with. He only gets to play when my uncle and cousins visit and bring their console.

My brother has been feeling sad and lonely recently after his doctors recommended that visits be limited. I decided to use my salary to get him his own console and wait till Christmas to give it to him. I bought an Xbox that has been sitting in my closet until I discovered that my fiance took it and sent it to his nephew who lives states away.

I was in dismay I confronted him about it asking why he took the Xbox knowing it was supposed to be a gift for my brother. He said he knew but explained his sister is a single mom and couldn't buy any gifts for her son nor are they receiving gifts from the family since they're all ignoring her after giving her money so they think they've done enough. He told me he felt sorry for his nephew and wanted to cheer him up but didn't have money so he thought that he could send him the Xbox and then we'd figure out what I'm going to gift my brother together.

I told him he had no right to touch the Xbox and said that what he did was theft which made him upset and somewhat shocked. He said he was very hurt I essentially called him a thief when he thought that I cared about our nephew as much as he does and explained my brother does not need the Xbox since he can't find time to play due to his condition and also not finding playmates because of his condition.

I told him my brother is still capable and he was making it seem as if he wasn't, but he argued he didn't mean it this way, just that he was hurt that I called his good deed "theft". I stood by what I said and demanded he either pay for the Xbox or pay me but he acted more hurt calling me callous and mean to take a gift from a child like that but I said I didn't gift his nephew this device and so it is not my problem.

He gave me complete silence and then went to stay at a hotel for 3 days saying I was being unfair to him and hurt him deeply. The problem still stands and he is counting on me to let it go and see that he was just helping his sister and nephew out. AIBU?

Totally outrageous. How dare he! You were quite within your rights to say what you said to him. What a joke...claiming he was hurt. He shouldn't have done what he did in the first place

 

[Fat&fancy]

I would be fuming if I was her! He had NO right to take it, yes theft!
That shows a lot about his character! not a nice person.

 

[Helen Mary]

My (F30) brother (M16) was born with a heart condition that prevented him from living his childhood to the fullest and doing his favorite activities. He can't do most things due to his condition and the side effects his medication has on him.

My parents have always struggled with money because of medical bills and unfortunately, they can not afford to buy my brother nice things. For example, he always wanted a console to play with. He only gets to play when my uncle and cousins visit and bring their console.

My brother has been feeling sad and lonely recently after his doctors recommended that visits be limited. I decided to use my salary to get him his own console and wait till Christmas to give it to him. I bought an Xbox that has been sitting in my closet until I discovered that my fiance took it and sent it to his nephew who lives states away.

I was in dismay I confronted him about it asking why he took the Xbox knowing it was supposed to be a gift for my brother. He said he knew but explained his sister is a single mom and couldn't buy any gifts for her son nor are they receiving gifts from the family since they're all ignoring her after giving her money so they think they've done enough. He told me he felt sorry for his nephew and wanted to cheer him up but didn't have money so he thought that he could send him the Xbox and then we'd figure out what I'm going to gift my brother together.

I told him he had no right to touch the Xbox and said that what he did was theft which made him upset and somewhat shocked. He said he was very hurt I essentially called him a thief when he thought that I cared about our nephew as much as he does and explained my brother does not need the Xbox since he can't find time to play due to his condition and also not finding playmates because of his condition.

I told him my brother is still capable and he was making it seem as if he wasn't, but he argued he didn't mean it this way, just that he was hurt that I called his good deed "theft". I stood by what I said and demanded he either pay for the Xbox or pay me but he acted more hurt calling me callous and mean to take a gift from a child like that but I said I didn't gift his nephew this device and so it is not my problem.

He gave me complete silence and then went to stay at a hotel for 3 days saying I was being unfair to him and hurt him deeply. The problem still stands and he is counting on me to let it go and see that he was just helping his sister and nephew out. AIBU?

 

[Helen Mary]

Sorry Love and from an aging female of 85 years, i say 'ditch him". I can see years ahead of troublesome times with a person who acts like your fiancee did. He will never change and the problem was he didn't even ask you, just took the gift. There are heaps and heaps of nicer blockes than this one and a little sadness now is better than a lifetime of living with a person of such character. Please believe me

 

[Helen Mary]

Sorry Love and from an aging female of 85 years, i say 'ditch him". I can see years ahead of troublesome times with a person who acts like your fiancee did. He will never change and the problem was he didn't even ask you, just took the gift. There are heaps and heaps of nicer blockes than this one and a little sadness now is better than a lifetime of living with a person of such character. Please believe me

 

[BabsL]

Not impressed w yr fiance's values! Think hard abt keeping him.

 

[Zoeshipscat]

My (F30) brother (M16) was born with a heart condition that prevented him from living his childhood to the fullest and doing his favorite activities. He can't do most things due to his condition and the side effects his medication has on him.

My parents have always struggled with money because of medical bills and unfortunately, they can not afford to buy my brother nice things. For example, he always wanted a console to play with. He only gets to play when my uncle and cousins visit and bring their console.

My brother has been feeling sad and lonely recently after his doctors recommended that visits be limited. I decided to use my salary to get him his own console and wait till Christmas to give it to him. I bought an Xbox that has been sitting in my closet until I discovered that my fiance took it and sent it to his nephew who lives states away.

I was in dismay I confronted him about it asking why he took the Xbox knowing it was supposed to be a gift for my brother. He said he knew but explained his sister is a single mom and couldn't buy any gifts for her son nor are they receiving gifts from the family since they're all ignoring her after giving her money so they think they've done enough. He told me he felt sorry for his nephew and wanted to cheer him up but didn't have money so he thought that he could send him the Xbox and then we'd figure out what I'm going to gift my brother together.

I told him he had no right to touch the Xbox and said that what he did was theft which made him upset and somewhat shocked. He said he was very hurt I essentially called him a thief when he thought that I cared about our nephew as much as he does and explained my brother does not need the Xbox since he can't find time to play due to his condition and also not finding playmates because of his condition.

I told him my brother is still capable and he was making it seem as if he wasn't, but he argued he didn't mean it this way, just that he was hurt that I called his good deed "theft". I stood by what I said and demanded he either pay for the Xbox or pay me but he acted more hurt calling me callous and mean to take a gift from a child like that but I said I didn't gift his nephew this device and so it is not my problem.

He gave me complete silence and then went to stay at a hotel for 3 days saying I was being unfair to him and hurt him deeply. The problem still stands and he is counting on me to let it go and see that he was just helping his sister and nephew out. AIBU?

It was theft, no question - you bought it and he stole it. What next? You need to seriously consider whether you really want to marry this person.

 

[Zoeshipscat]

It was theft, no question - you bought it and he stole it. What next? You need to seriously consider whether you really want to marry this person.

 

[BabsL]

It was theft, no question - you bought it and he stole it. What next? You need to seriously consider whether you really want to marry this person.

Do you really need this thieving, insensitive thief in yr life?
Ditch him. What he did is NOT the behaviour of a man who truly LOVES you! Get out now, do not marry him! He will not change bcz they NEVER change. He has proved you mean nothing to him. Pack yr bags, or boot him out now.

 

[Pat T]

My (F30) brother (M16) was born with a heart condition that prevented him from living his childhood to the fullest and doing his favorite activities. He can't do most things due to his condition and the side effects his medication has on him.

My parents have always struggled with money because of medical bills and unfortunately, they can not afford to buy my brother nice things. For example, he always wanted a console to play with. He only gets to play when my uncle and cousins visit and bring their console.

My brother has been feeling sad and lonely recently after his doctors recommended that visits be limited. I decided to use my salary to get him his own console and wait till Christmas to give it to him. I bought an Xbox that has been sitting in my closet until I discovered that my fiance took it and sent it to his nephew who lives states away.

I was in dismay I confronted him about it asking why he took the Xbox knowing it was supposed to be a gift for my brother. He said he knew but explained his sister is a single mom and couldn't buy any gifts for her son nor are they receiving gifts from the family since they're all ignoring her after giving her money so they think they've done enough. He told me he felt sorry for his nephew and wanted to cheer him up but didn't have money so he thought that he could send him the Xbox and then we'd figure out what I'm going to gift my brother together.

I told him he had no right to touch the Xbox and said that what he did was theft which made him upset and somewhat shocked. He said he was very hurt I essentially called him a thief when he thought that I cared about our nephew as much as he does and explained my brother does not need the Xbox since he can't find time to play due to his condition and also not finding playmates because of his condition.

I told him my brother is still capable and he was making it seem as if he wasn't, but he argued he didn't mean it this way, just that he was hurt that I called his good deed "theft". I stood by what I said and demanded he either pay for the Xbox or pay me but he acted more hurt calling me callous and mean to take a gift from a child like that but I said I didn't gift his nephew this device and so it is not my problem.

He gave me complete silence and then went to stay at a hotel for 3 days saying I was being unfair to him and hurt him deeply. The problem still stands and he is counting on me to let it go and see that he was just helping his sister and nephew out. AIBU?

To take something that is not yours is stealing. He will never be wrong. Get rid of him, and fast.

 

[joshram]

To take something that is not yours is stealing. He will never be wrong. Get rid of him, and fast.

But not before getting your money back.

 

[Pat T]

Sorry Love and from an aging female of 85 years, i say 'ditch him". I can see years ahead of troublesome times with a person who acts like your fiancee did. He will never change and the problem was he didn't even ask you, just took the gift. There are heaps and heaps of nicer blockes than this one and a little sadness now is better than a lifetime of living with a person of such character. Please believe me

I agree Helen. With age comes wisdom, experience and foresight. No excuse for that behaviour.