[Danielle G.]

AIBU 27.06.25​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/WinAffectionate326:

Am I being unreasonable for not cooking breakfast for my niece and nephew?

'My sister moved into my house about 2 months ago with her 2 kids after she ended a really bad relationship.'

'I’ve always been an early-ish riser and like to get up and make myself some breakfast around 7 or 8am. Nothing spectacular, just whatever I felt like that day.'

'When my sister moved in, I realised quickly that she liked to sleep in. Some days she was up as late as 1pm…I gave her the benefit of the doubt since I knew how hard her break up was for her.'

'Since my sister slept so late daily, she wouldn’t get up and take care of her kids. I got into a routine with my niece and nephew that basically whatever I cooked myself for breakfast, I’d make enough for them as well until the other morning.'

'I woke up and had an urge to make huevos rancheros. The kids immediately started complaining that they didn’t want that and wanted something different.'

'I was nice and ended up making them pancakes since it’s not their fault that their mom is really struggling.'

'The next morning, I was making breakfast potatoes and eggs but all I heard was “we don’t want that. We want something different” so again, I obliged. Finally after 3 mornings of my unwanted food critics getting a separate meal, I finally told them “I’m no longer cooking 2 different meals for breakfast. If you don’t like what I’m making, go ask your mom to get up and do it”.'

'So, they went upstairs to wake her up, but she still didn’t come downstairs until after 1pm. The kids immediately started complaining that I “refused to feed them” and my sister got angry.'

'She started in about how they need to be fed by a certain time and a bunch of other things that she said to try and intentionally hurt me.'

'I snapped and told her “look I know you’re depressed, but wake up and take care of your kids instead of expecting me to do it”.'

'She got quiet after that and is still giving me the cold shoulder, but I know she’s expecting me to apologise. Am I the one being unreasonable?'

 

[Dreams]

Certainly not

She has moved into your house with her children, that is certainly changing your life.

The children are hers therefore she is responsible for them.

 

[meighLeigh]

Is she paying for a bed and breakfast? Is she paying you to be her nanny? If she is paying both, you're being unreasonable. But she doesn't seem to be. She's dumped the responsibility of her kids on you, you were generous enough to take it on. The kids also need to learn some manners.
In your place, the ungrateful freeloader would be invited to leave - immediately. And probably not politely, but I am known to have an explosive temper.

 

[Jennylolo]

the mum is responsible. But you had also made meals for them they refused to have.

 

[relljube]

Try knocking on her door at 7am so she can make breakfast for HER children. If she refuses - get the broom out and sweep the ingrate and her children outside, lock the door and settle down to some peace and quiet for your well-earned brekky.

 

[Suzanne rose]

This is an American article we say mum not mom.

Maybe a problem with the sisters marriage was that she slept until 1pm.

How old are the kids ?

Their mother should have Bern up early not just to take care of her kids but maybe to help her sister as well aroind the house.

She is living in her sisters house he needs to show respect as well as be a mother to her kids.

The aunt / sister needs to set ground rules and if the sister doesn't like it then she needs to find another home for her and her kids. Her sister has been nice by letting them stay as well as cooking for her kids

 

[Marilynne]

How far can you kick with the door open

 

[Penny4]

I agree that perhaps the marriage break down was due to her sleeping until 1pm everyday.
If the sister claims she is that depressed that she can't look after her kids, then perhaps they need to live with their father.

 

[MariaG]

Smack on her bottom is needed here.
Break up or not, her first responsibility is to care for HER children.
Tell the kids to keep hassling her until she gets up. The cafe is out of business.

 

[Jo Piper3]

Why is she sleeping until 1pm? She should be grateful of a safe place to stay and take care of her children herself (and pay board).

 

[Suzanne rose]

Sorry the more I think of this story it really seems too far fetched

 

[Kman]

Absolutely not. Even if you are a Yank, (mom) a couple of times, she is just taking advantage of your kindness.

 

[Parrot]

When This Lady agreed to let her Sister come & live in her house She should have made it clear
That the Mother was responsible for her Children .. not sleep till 1PM. .. There. is NO mention
Of this person working late which would account for that.. as for those kids they should be grateful that this kind Lady decided to make them something else. She should have told them “if you
Don’t like what I MAKE wait until your mother gets up she can make you what you want “.