[Athena E.]

AIBU 27.01.2025​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/Known_Occasion_2041:

Am I being unreasonable for declining to invite a woman who has called herself ‘a total klepto’ into my home?

'I joined a Women’s Social Club 6 months ago because I’ve been struggling to make friends after relocating to a new-to-me city. It took me a while to warm up to the group and to connect with people I actually had anything in common with. I had to wade through a lot of parties and brunches to find things I was interested in. But I did, and I started coming to group events fairly often.'

'I hang out most often with the women who like to read, do crafty things, bake, skywatch, etc. Among these women is one, I’ll call her Andea, who has made several comments about how she’s a total klepto. I think that she makes these comments to seem “cool” to the other people in the group.'

'I reached out to some of the women I see regularly at these events and invited them over to my place to watch a TV show we’d been talking about and do crafty stuff. They were excited and agreed to come.'

'Unfortunately, Andrea found out (I assume someone asked if she was going) and reached out to me to ask if she was invited. I considered this for a bit and then told her no, as I only had so much room at home. She didn’t believe me and asked me for the real reason, saying “I thought we got along” which yes, is true. '

'I told her I’m not comfortable inviting a kleptomaniac into my home. That I’ve worked hard to have the things I have and it would be s***** for me to invite her knowing that she openly brags about it. '

'She said "Okay" very quietly. She then said, “You’re painting me out to be some horrible criminal when you don’t even know anything about me.” '

'I said that her being proud to call herself a klepto was all I needed to know. She said that I was mean and ableist. I am unsure what the foundation for that statement is.'

'This, unfortunately, has spilled over to the group, which is frustrating. But what has me the most surprised is that there are so many people defending her and telling me that I’m out of touch and take things too literally. Am I?'

 

[Jo Piper3]

Maybe find a new group?

 

[mOiOz]

Are you sure her "klepto" response means exactly that?
I've heard that from people who 'steal 'ideas and tips from others, and on the internet others 'steal' memes and jokes.
Like many other medical terms, they are used inappropriately or for fun, such as "Psycho" and 'Mental". Ask her!

 

[Dotty33]

You need a new group. As you like reading, why not join a book club, they have good times too

 

[deni67]

Are you sure her "klepto" response means exactly that?
I've heard that from people who 'steal 'ideas and tips from others, and on the internet others 'steal' memes and jokes.
Like many other medical terms, they are used inappropriately or for fun, such as "Psycho" and 'Mental". Ask her!

With respect you can't actually steal memes or jokes unless they are copyrighted by the maker or owner of them.
Even then on Facebook they are a free for all, it pisses me off because in my last account I had a lot of my 3D artwork with a copyright symbol on each of them. I politely asked people not to take them but to ask first. Then I find them on others accounts saying they are their own designs and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it except not share my art, which would be a shame because i'm proud of some of the artwork.

 

[MIZMAC]

As she claims to be klepto you are right to protect your goods until this claim is proven to be wrong.

 

[relljube]

It sounds like you don't really like the lady so why sweat it. Perhaps these other women can shed some light on why they think you are overreacting. If they are correct and you want to include this woman, then take action to correct your possible misconception. Alternatively, lock up any valuables.

 

[Willfish]

Ask her what she means by calling herself a 'klepto'? Ask her direct if this means she takes things that belong to others? If she explains that her comment is a joke and she does not take things that do not belong to her, ask for her reassurance that she will not take anything from your house if you ask her to your place. Assure her that if anything does go missing you will be immediately going to talk to her. Such a very direct discussion should make your position clear. If anything does go missing make sure you tell everyone.

 

[mOiOz]

With respect you can't actually steal memes or jokes unless they are copyrighted by the maker or owner of them.
Even then on Facebook they are a free for all, it pisses me off because in my last account I had a lot of my 3D artwork with a copyright symbol on each of them. I politely asked people not to take them but to ask first. Then I find them on others accounts saying they are their own designs and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it except not share my art, which would be a shame because i'm proud of some of the artwork.

Whether you can or can't steal is totally irrelevant in this case.
We are discussing the word "klepto"!
All I am saying is, people use the word 'steal' when they copy something, and may refer to themselves and others as a 'klepto' in jest, be it legal or not, it is language we're talking about... not law.

PS: I make a lot of jokes myself ... a couple of thousand actually... and even though they are permitted to 'steal' them (in this case) they still often ask if they can!

 

[Towing]

What is a person who has a fascination for fire??

 

[Jo Piper3]

What is a person who has a fascination for fire??

Pyromaniac?

 

[Testy]

I don't think you are unreasonable your home your rules, I think the women who are siding with Andea are enabling this bad behaviour