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Athena E.

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AIBU 26.08.2024

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/Icy-Shelter9897:

Am I unreasonable for telling my wife I hate her new hobby?


'Recently my wife has taken to "fridgescaping", I guess it's a recent trend because I'd never heard about it before this. She started decorating our fridge, and it was really getting on my nerves. '

'For example, she put flowers in the fridge, in vases, in front of food so you have to move things just to get to the food. She put all our food in fancy baskets, jars, and similar things. I know it sounds absurd, but if you just search up “fridgescaping” you’ll see what I’m talking about.'

'I didn’t care at first because I don’t have to use the fridge much anyways, I don’t cook a lot. But she’s getting too meticulous with it and adding too much decor. It’s made the fridge very uninviting for me. She gets upset when I get something from the fridge and don’t put things back perfectly. She keeps taking it as a personal slight and acts like I’ve done something to deliberately hurt her, when I haven’t. I just find it unnecessary to maintain such an organised fridge. Before she started this, it would take me 30 seconds to grab something quick from the fridge, whereas now it’s a whole ordeal.'



'Last weekend, she confronted me after I grabbed some leftovers from the fridge and left it in “disarray” according to her. I explained how I find the hobby stupid, and she can decorate other things, it doesn’t have to be the fridge. It gets in the way when I want to quickly eat; when I come home from work hungry and tired and want to grab a quick bite it’s frustrating. '

'I also talked to my son about it, and he finds it annoying, which I told her. She didn’t argue back after that, and she’s removed all of the decorations from the fridge, which I have to admit has been relieving. But she’s also been acting very distant towards me and just hasn't been herself, and has been weird intimacy-wise.'

'Am I unreasonable for this?'
 
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Her husband isn't responsible for her happiness. I'm so tired of women expecting men to be all things to their female partners. It's increasingly common to read replies to letters like this blaming men.

I've had many hobbies over the years and none of them negatively affected my husband or son. You can bet your socks if the boot was on the other foot, the husband would still be in the wrong.
No he is not and I did not say that, I said leave her alone. Simply suggested he might find something they could both do as well. I blame intolerance of other people.
 
I think your wife needs to direct her energies into something worthwhile like redecorating a room, or take a course in redecorating. A fridge is for food storage. It all sounds a bit unusual to me
 
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Yep your are a dick, it's her hobby so just leave it be, sound's like father like son no tolerance for someone else enjoying something you don't understand. Maybe she is majorly bored perhaps you should look a little deeper at your self and find something you could both enjoy, gee did I really have to say that, yep.
Have you stopped to think those flowers could have tiny insects on them that could go onto other food, wriggle their way into containers or the smell of the flowers permeate food. Are the flowers toxic if pollen drops onto anything? If she insists on having them in the fridge she seals them, then puts them in an airtight container.
 

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