[Danielle G.]

AIBU 22.11.2024​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/crypticbutterfly27:

Am I being unreasonable for telling my dad what his Christmas present is?

'My friend for 25 years is living with me, and we pool our money to buy gifts in order to save money. I suggested that we buy a Keurig coffee maker for my dad (74), since his other coffee machine is ancient. My friend liked the idea and we were excited to get it for him for Christmas.'

'Now, I know my dad. He's VERY picky about things. I wanted to know for sure if he really wanted this, so I asked him upfront if he was being serious (he was). Now my friend is upset that I spoiled the surprise. Should I not have asked and kept it a secret?'

 

[Viellarde]

And give him something he didn't want?
Your friend is forgetting older folks are not children who need to be surprised.

 

[Iggydi]

I used to ask my mum what she wanted as it's pointless buying something she couldn't use. So personally I think it's quite alright to ask if he still wanted it.

 

[Viellarde]

I used to ask my mum what she wanted as it's pointless buying something she couldn't use. So personally I think it's quite alright to ask if he still wanted it.

I put in my suggestions several weeks ahead, especially if something I need is on special.

 

[Wendy]

With my daughter and her family we do a list of things we would like and she does the same. Her list is on our fridge and ours on hers. Anyone can pick an item from the list so we each get something we would like and it's still a surprise. (nothing expensive though)

 

[GrannyJA!]

You know your Dad best.

 

[Barbara V]

Not too keen on surprises they can go wrong

 

[Luckyus]

I used to ask my missus what she wanted, now it's pot luck.

 

[magpie1]

He will still remain surprised that you thought enough to give him something that he truly wanted. Well done.

 

[Towing]

I know somebody who had already bought a present for a parent. Then the parent talked about buying the same thing (tickets to an event) so they had to tell the parent and not keep it as a surprise.
I know in some cases grandparents used to check with others to make sure they didn't buy the same thing, especially after it happened to a young child once. Fortunately they didn't look exactly the same. End result was one was taken home to the buyer's house and the child played with it there. The child wasn't old enough to realize either. A different present was later given to the child