[Sethia Soliman]

AIBU 10.06.2024​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/SpareAstronaut1217.

Am I being unreasonable for telling my husband we have different priorities than his 30th birthday?

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I am upset and think my husband is being selfish right now. I am married to Alex. I am currently three months pregnant and this pregnancy has been tough on me. In the past, I have miscarried so we are keeping this pregnancy a secret. I have awful morning sickness that has let up in the past month, and as I can’t tell anyone it has been hard, but Alex has supported me in this time.

Alex’s 30th birthday was Wednesday, and I invited close family and friends over and got catering from his favourite restaurant. I couldn’t cook huge volumes of food for guests or be up on my feet very long, so I made sure the party was short by throwing it on Sunday.

That way, people could leave early for work the next day. The party was tiring and while I wanted to be there for Alex, I was glad when everyone left as I just wanted to go to bed. The morning after Alex was talking about how much fun he had and I thought that was the end of it.

For his actual birthday on Wednesday, I made him a cake and got him a birthday present. He seemed disappointed and when I asked why he asked me if this was it. I was confused and he said he assumed I was throwing him a big surprise birthday as I knew how much celebrating his 30th meant to him.

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I told him no, and that his party was what happened on Sunday and that I had been too sick and tired to plan anything bigger. That party alone was a huge effort for me, especially coordinating what worked for everyone else, which happened to be the Sunday and worked out best for me. I got upset, called him selfish, and have avoided him ever since.

He is upset as for my 30th he planned a big celebration and even invited my college friend from another country. I appreciated his effort and that was the best birthday anyone had ever planned for me, but that isn’t possible for me to do for him with my pregnancy. I told him we have different priorities now and he said that the baby wasn’t even here yet.

Alex has made it clear in the past that he wanted to throw a big birthday for his 30th, but with my pregnancy and him seeing how it affects me day to day, I thought he would be more understanding of the effort I did make and be more aware of what is possible for his birthday. So, am I being unreasonable?

 

[gamiry]

Absolutely you are. You dont have a terminal illness…You’re pregnant! How many times in that story did you say ‘I’m pregnant’. Wow! And it’s a secret so you're only weeks into it and already you’re “too tired”. Wow again, run like the wind Alex and never look back!

obviously you have NEVER had a bad pregnancy, I have and it aint funny. My suggestion to the lady, KEEP THE BABY AND TRADE ALEX IN ON A MORE CARING MAN.