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James Gutierrez

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AIBU 10.05.2024

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/ThrowRA_Narcdil:

Am I being unreasonable for expecting to meet my grandchild?



'I'm 42, and my son Jay, who's 18, is expecting a baby with his girlfriend Kate, also 18. Frankly, I don’t think they're ready for parenthood, especially given their short time together, but the baby's due in July, so we're trying to make the best of it. I'm genuinely excited to meet the little one.

Kate's family isn't in the picture – they kicked her out when they found out about the pregnancy. Until recently, Jay and Kate stayed with me, but they've just moved into their own place. I'm proud of their independence. They took all the baby stuff I'd bought for them, including a fully decked-out nursery and gifts from the baby shower.

Unfortunately, the baby's in the breech position, and nothing's convinced it to turn. So, they've scheduled a C-section for July 3rd. I offered to drive them to the hospital, but Jay insisted he would. When I mentioned waiting in the hospital, Kate surprised me by saying they didn't want visitors. She wanted privacy to heal and bond with the baby, only allowing her sister to be there.

I was hurt, feeling like I deserved to be closer to the situation as the grandparent. But I didn't want to argue, so I agreed to wait at their house instead. Then Kate added insult to injury, saying I couldn't visit until the baby had its shots or I got a booster, citing concerns about infections. I felt she was overstepping, especially considering the support I'd provided them.

I'm now seeing more of Kate's controlling behaviour, and it's causing tension between us. I don't think I'm in the wrong here, but both she and my son seem to disagree.'



We're eager to hear your perspectives, members! Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
 
Oh dear I’ve upset another one with my tongue in cheek comment I’d better go stand in the naughty corner again. Until next time twisted knickers brigade seeya.😎
Footnote😡i deleted said post to protect identities of the people who did press the “like”button from copping the nasty verbal abuse For liking the post that I got from the fun 👮‍♂️ Police on here. 😊as I always say “some mothers do have”. 🤣🤣
 
Oh dear I’ve upset another one with my tongue in cheek comment I’d better go stand in the naughty corner again. Until next time twisted knickers brigade seeya.😎

Tongue in cheek you may say but the written word has more impact than that spoken. Therefore your comments will miss the nuances which may be intended when spoken and could have unintended consequences. Please show a little more respect
 
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Tongue in cheek you may say but the written word has more impact than that spoken. Therefore your comments will miss the nuances which may be intended when spoken and could have unintended consequences. Please show a little more respect
Righto johnny boy I will do and say whatever I like on here until the sdc staff say not to. It’s called freedom of speech jb don’t like it scroll on by👋 case closed your honour.🤣
 
My sister and her hubby were made to get all their booster shots by their eldest son before they were allowed to visit their 1st grandchild.
Not all new parents are this fanatic though. My sons best mate & his wife just had a baby and he was invited over the week after she got home to meet the child and wasn't asked to get any kind of boosters shots.
As I still don't leave home without a mask, I believe my chances of having & passing on any kind of infection is pretty much buckleys and none therefore if put into the situation of having to get needles then I'd rather not see the kid anyway.
When my daughter had her twins 15 1/2 yrs ago she wanted me there, but the father of the children then insisted his mother should be there too. My daughter couldn't comprehend having her then partners mum looking at her body during birth so ended up saying she wanted no visitors at all during her hospital stay. That lasted till the morning after the birth when she rang me hysterically saying the babies wouldn't stop crying and she needed help.
 
Yep, some of these fool kids will wrap their kids up in bubble wrap for the kids life. Can't play in the rain or eat mud. Weird as nowadays most kids end up sickly, have problems I never heard of until 30 odd years ago, don't go play with the neighbors' kids, are fat or obese and have got their eyes on the mobile phone all the time placing them in danger. So in Grandmas' to be case, how did you bring up your kids?
 
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I hate to tell you that this attitude is rampant and so common in today's climate. I personally have two Grandchildren from two seperate Families that have restricted me totally, because the Female wanted the children
only for her family to the extent that I have no contact with either of them

I am not a criminal, I don't have any reason that this is the reason for the
Complete Isolation except that my own Sons have allowed this to happen. The Grandaughters are all grown up now, and I could pretty much walk past them in the Street and not known them.
How pathetically sad, any time I tried to change it, it was met with no response.
I know a lot of people who are in the same position as me. Honest Caring People who only wanted to love and nurture their Sons offspring and to help in anyway possible.
Normal everyday people who have been cut out their Grandchildren lives with that only reason my kid my family only.
Very cruel for us and for our Grandchildren.
 

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