[Athena E.]

AIBU 02.09.2024​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/Full_Bridge3815:

Am I unreasonable for denying help to a woman I know?

'I am part of a nonprofit charity organisation that helps people to fix their homes. As I own a construction company, the main part I provide is leftovers from building sites, but we also have multiple other members who contribute their time, money or resources.'

'Our main focus is people who need better living standards, like hot water, and a bathroom with running water, or just heating as things like that can be too expensive for single parents, disabled people or seniors. Often we help families whose home was damaged in an accident (fire, flood, etc.) and they lack resources to fix it. (Insurance companies often don't cover old buildings in bad shape, but people in need often live in buildings like that).'

'Recently, we got an email about a fire in an apartment building. The name of the person in need caught my attention—it was Ruby, my ex’s best friend. I contacted Ruby and found out that a robot vacuum had exploded in her apartment, causing a fire that left the place needing a total rebuild. Unfortunately, she had no insurance, while other affected neighbours did.'

'At first, it seemed like she was a good candidate for our help, but I know Ruby owns another apartment she inherited and rents out. I asked her about it, and she said she didn’t want to lose her passive income by selling it or moving there. So, I told her we help people who have no other options, not those with passive income that could solve their problems.'

'Our charity members can veto projects when it’s justified, and I felt Ruby wasn’t the kind of person we’re here to help. Members rarely question the reasons, as the list of people that need help is long. That's when things blew up. '

'My ex accused me of denying help because of our past, and now my mailbox is full of messages calling me an names and saying, "You're playing god." Is it wrong to deny charity to someone who could sell another property or use rental income to solve their problems? Am I being unreasonable?'

 

[Kevin. A.]

You have a charity which helps people with little or no options. This lady sounds like she does have options and financial assets which many people do not have this luxury. If this lady has a flat, which she inherited and has income from that flat. While I sympathize with what happened to her flat, this lady does have other financial options. If the aim of a charity is help those with few options versus to give assistance to a person who clearly needs help. However, this lady does have the financial capacity to ride out her misfortune, when other people who are in much more dire circumstances and have to go without. The issue here is a charity can only help so many people, and so you cannot help everyone as much as we would like too. There must be some form of criteria to help those in the most need.

 

[Rosi Gordon]

Time to block the ex. Thank you and the other workers for your charitable work for those who really need it.