[Danielle G.]

AIBU 02.08.2024​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/Prankuser2046:

Am I being unreasonable for punching my stepdaughter after she played a prank on me?

​

'I (38M) married "Judd" (44F) a few years ago and I acquired a step daughter, "Abi"(14F) as a result. I dated Judd when Abi was 8, and married Judd when Abi was 10. I'd say our relationship is ok, she doesn't act bratty towards me and respects me enough as her mom's husband. However there is one glaring issue about her and that is her pranking nature.

Abi loves to pull pranks. Some examples are her hiding my car keys. Another one is when she hid in the fridge (something I still find very weird) to scare the first person who opened it.

One time, I arrived home and it seemed that I was the only one there. Only my shoes were at the doorstep and I even called out Judd's and Abi's names with no answer. This is somewhat normal as Judd sometimes works late and Abi stays at school for extracurriculars. So I screwed around with my dog ( a German shepherd and husky mix for anyone that will ask) for a bit and then I decided to relive my myself.

When I got to the bathroom I noticed that the window cabinet was open. I though nothing of it at first and unzipped my pants but then I saw a shadow behind the shower curtains. I though the worst and immediately punched the figure behind the curtains.

Well as everyone may have guessed it, it was Abi. She was making a prank video and I had not noticed that she propped her phone up on the bathroom cabinet with two cups.

I'm not gonna lie, I did not hold back. I punched her as hard as I could. Her nose looked broken and when I realised it, I flipped out and so did she. After maybe 5 minutes of freaking out, I drove her to urgent care and informed Judd of the situation. Her nose was indeed broken and would need about 6-12 weeks of recovery.

Abi won't talk to me and as for Judd, she thinks that my action may have been justified, but also thinks I should have approached with more caution which she has refused to elaborate on.

Do you think I was unreasonable?'

 

[Nozmo]

I think a punch to an unknown, unseen intruder is a reasonable response.

 

[CliffE]

Smacks (excuse the pun) of Psycho in reverse. Or was it?

 

[Frida1944]

I think the response was very kneejerk and pretty reasonable. The world being such a violent place today it was not unrealistic for this man to think there was an intruder in the house. The fact he was so devastated at the end result speaks to how he felt when he realised it was his stepdaughter behind the curtain. Perhaps the young lady will realise sometimes there are unpleasant consequences to such behaviour. Don't know where this was but, imagine if it had been in the US where guns are prolific, she could have been shot.

 

[Ringdragon]

The difference between a Joke and a Prank is that with a Prank, one less person laughs.

 

[Luckyus]

Perfectly reasonable I reckon.

 

[relljube]

Did he say that she was 14 or 4?

 

[Hollingworthlake]

No I don’t think it was reasonable. He did not stop and think and just reacted irresponsibly. But I think it is a stupid example of being unreasonable

 

[Hollingworthlake]

No I don’t think it was reasonable. He did not stop and think and just reacted irresponsibly. But I think it is a stupid example of being unreasonable He knew the 14 year old tended to play pranks so should have thought before he acted

No I don’t think it was reasonable. He did not stop and think and just reacted irresponsibly. But I think it is a stupid example of being unreasonable

No I don’t think it was reasonable. He did not stop and think and just reacted irresponsibly. But I think it is a stupid example of being unreasonable

 

[BellaB18]

You obviously thought in that split second there was intruder in your home. It's very unfortunate not for second would you think your step daughter was hiding behind the shower curtain for a prank.
I can imagine you would have been dreadfully upset you did the right thing and seeked medical help immediately.
I would suggest maybe it's time to sit down as a family and draw a line to how far a prank can go as no family wants anyone to be hurt
Kind regards to all Vicki

 

[Ezzy]

That person behind the curtain who you thought was an intruder could very well have had any type of weapon from a knife to a pistol or baseball bat. I believe your response was appropriate given your understanding of the situation but perhaps you could have just pushed the person backwards in the shower with the same gusto as you did with your fist. This would have overpowered the person causing them to stagger backwards & a chance for you to get around the curtain. "Abi" may have been more forgiving too.

 

[katdragon2010]

No-one seems to have mentioned that she was recording him in the bathroom relieving himself. It what world is that appropriate or funny? If the situation had been reversed, he would have been called a perv. This girl needs to be reigned in.

 

[Leeta069]

No-one seems to have mentioned that she was recording him in the bathroom relieving himself. It what world is that appropriate or funny? If the situation had been reversed, he would have been called a perv. This girl needs to be reigned in.

I agree and being 14 and a prankster it would most likely have been uploaded on to the internet for all to see!

 

[Kevin. A.]

Pranks are always funny when it is someone else on the receiving end, and not so funny when it is them who are the victim. I think you were perfectly reasonable hitting out, being unsure of who was behind the shower screen. This could have been any predator, so clearly you had a right to act and defend yourself from would be harm. Stupid acts committed by individuals, and everything is funny until someone gets hurt. How would she have felt if you had, a heart attack or slipped and fallen with fear that some predator was behind that shower screen Perhaps she will think of how others may feel before she does something like that again.

 

[Kevin. A.]

No-one seems to have mentioned that she was recording him in the bathroom relieving himself. It what world is that appropriate or funny? If the situation had been reversed, he would have been called a perv. This girl needs to be reigned in.

These pranks are always funny until it is them who are on the receiving end.

 

[Kevin. A.]

That person behind the curtain who you thought was an intruder could very well have had any type of weapon from a knife to a pistol or baseball bat. I believe your response was appropriate given your understanding of the situation but perhaps you could have just pushed the person backwards in the shower with the same gusto as you did with your first. This would have overpowered the person causing them to stagger backwards & a chance for you to get around the curtain. "Abi" may have been more forgiving too.

Your first instinct are a fight and flight response. You don't have time, not knowing who or what type of person were behind the shower screen and what they were prepared to do.

 

[Ezzy]

How would she have gone, had it been a person with intent and a weapon. Your first instinct are a fight and flight response. You don't have time, not knowing who or what type of person were behind the Curton and what they were prepared to do.

'How would she have gone,.....'.
She, his step daughter Abi was behind the curtain so she wouldn't be running anywhere. She set up the stunt with a phone camera taping the action. IF SHE WAS BEHIND THE CURTAIN SHE MAY BE ABLE TO HEAR THE STEP DAD BUT WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SEE HIM.

Not being able to see but only hear she would have no idea what was about to happen, DON'T YOU THINK?

I STILL SAY HE COULD HAVE PUSHED THE PERSON BEHIND THE CURTAIN, KNOCKING THEM OFF THEIR FEET, WEAPON OR NO WEAPON, THUS GIVING THE STEP DAD AN OPPORTUNITY TO FOLLOW THROUGH. I would suggest the cry of pain from Abi, would in this case, have given a very clear indication of who was behind the curtain. WOULD YOU AGREE @ Kevin.A.?

 

[Ezzy]

I agree and being 14 and a prankster it would most likely have been uploaded on to the internet for all to see!

I wonder if that would be with or without the punch in the face, the broken nose & the stepdad's 5 minute rant afterwards?

 

[Leeta069]

I wonder if that would be with or without the punch in the face, the broken nose & the stepdad's 5 minute rant afterwards?

Probably do it anyway out of spite.

 

[Kevin. A.]

'How would she have gone,.....'.
She, his step daughter Abi was behind the curtain so she wouldn't be running anywhere. She set up the stunt with a phone camera taping the action. IF SHE WAS BEHIND THE CURTAIN SHE MAY BE ABLE TO HEAR THE STEP DAD BUT WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SEE HIM.

Not being able to see but only hear she would have no idea what was about to happen, DON'T YOU THINK?

I STILL SAY HE COULD HAVE PUSHED THE PERSON BEHIND THE CURTAIN, KNOCKING THEM OFF THEIR FEET, WEAPON OR NO WEAPON, THUS GIVING THE STEP DAD AN OPPORTUNITY TO FOLLOW THROUGH. I would suggest the cry of pain from Abi, would in this case, have given a very clear indication of who was behind the curtain. WOULD YOU AGREE @ Kevin.A.?

I agree to a point. If you think you are alone in the house, your first response would be, who the hell is this, is this an intruder about to rob, or kill me. Even if you do manage to push them off balance and get out of the bathroom first. You have no idea if this person is alone or has a weapon. Your first response is getting the advantage over an unknown potential armed adversary and raise the alarm. The other thing is, even if he had just pushed the unknown (Abi) he could have easily done more damage to Abi than a simple broken nose. Pushing Abi with the same "gusto" as punching could have potentially broken her neck. Imagine if she had fallen and hit her head on a tap or the shower floor, pushing could have killed her.?? I think it was a stupid thing to have done either way you look at this. However, perhaps now Abi will realize, that there are boundaries you do not cross, even if you think it is funny to play a joke like that on someone. As I have said, jokes are always funny until someone gets hurt.