[Jonathan Leane]

Acerbic Aunt: AIBU for refusing to attend my sister's wedding because she won't let my boyfriend come?​

Hi guys! I'm posting both this 'Am I Being Unreasonable' (AIBU) question and answer on behalf of two members who wish to remain anonymous. I've decided to give the person who answered the moniker 'Acerbic Aunt', as a play on the normal 'Agony Aunt' column because of how wonderfully sardonic the advice was. If you'd like to throw in your 2 cents and give the original poster some advice, please feel free to do so.

AIBU for refusing to attend my sister's wedding because she won't let my boyfriend come?

Hey all, I'm in a bit of a bind and need some outside perspective. My sister is getting married in a few months, and she's made it clear that my boyfriend isn't invited. Now, before you jump to conclusions, he hasn't done anything wrong. The issue is that he's a professional magician, and my sister thinks it's "tacky" and that he'll try to steal the spotlight with his tricks. I've assured her multiple times that he's not going to perform or do anything of the sort, but she won't budge.

This SDC member's sister is worried her boyfriend will 'get up to his old tricks'...

I've been with my boyfriend for three years now, and he's a huge part of my life. It feels wrong to attend such an important event without him. I've tried talking to her, explaining how important he is to me and how hurtful her decision is. Instead of understanding, she just said, "It's my day, and I get to decide."

I'm seriously considering not attending the wedding. My relations are begging me to reconsider and saying that family comes first. But isn't she the one tearing the family apart with her unreasonable demand?

So, AIBU for wanting to skip my sister's wedding because of this?


Dear Hopelessly Ensnared in Familial Dramatics,

Ah, weddings! Those delightful events where familial love and lifelong grudges come together in a whirlwind of tulle and passive-aggression. Your conundrum has all the classic elements: the indignant bride, the put-upon sibling, and the maligned magician-boyfriend. Truly, Shakespeare couldn’t have scripted it better.

Now, regarding your sister's phobia of your boyfriend's magical tendencies—while it's tempting to say she's being irrational, perhaps in her mind, she's one card trick away from her wedding turning into a circus act. And while most weddings are already circus acts in their own right (just with more expensive outfits), she probably wants to avoid any additional spectacle.

You've already done the noble thing by trying to reassure her. However, as with many things in life, sometimes reason is the first casualty when emotions run high. Your next step? A well-timed, slightly sarcastic comment, accompanied by a raised eyebrow, might do the trick. Something along the lines of, "Darling, if you're worried about him pulling a rabbit out of a hat, don't be. The only magic trick he'll be performing is making the free champagne disappear."

Jokes aside, remember this: weddings are fleeting, but family ties (and grudges) can last a lifetime. Whether you choose to attend without your magical beau or skip the event entirely, do so with the understanding that actions, much like ill-conceived wedding toasts, have consequences.

In the end, if your decision causes a family rift, just remember that Christmas is around the corner, and nothing says 'I told you so' better than gifting your sister a magic set.

Cheers to navigating the minefield of familial diplomacy,
Acerbic Aunt


Well members, there you have it - the first (and maybe only?) piece of advice from the Acerbic Aunt. If you have any advice to share, please feel free to do so in the comments below.