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A priest visits his cousin, who is also a priest.
The two priests, both in their forties, sit down to dinner.
The visiting priest says, "Cousin, I couldn't help noticing that your housekeeper is quite a young and attractive woman. I take it relations between the two of you are not always completely platonic?"
"How dare you! I am a man of the cloth, as are you! I assure you, there is nothing inappropriate going on between us!"
After the visiting priest leaves, the housekeeper says to the priest, "Father, I don't know how to say this, but our silver gravy ladle is missing, and it's been missing since your cousin's visit. I don't know what to do! I'm sure I didn't misplace it!"
The priest tells the housekeeper that he'll handle it. He writes his cousin:
"Dear cousin. A matter of some delicacy has arisen. Our silver gravy ladle is missing. Now I'm not saying you stole it, and I'm not saying you didn't, but the fact is that it's missing. If you have anything to tell me about this, please do so."
The answer:
"Dear cousin. Regarding your letter, I'm not saying you're sleeping with your housekeeper, and I'm not saying you're not, but if you were sleeping in your own bed, you would've found your silver gravy ladle."