There are a few products out there that are just plain weird, and not in a good way. Things like helicopter ejector seats, air conditioning on a motorcycle, or pedals on a wheelchair are a few strange (but fictional) examples. Here are a few examples of Aussie-centric products that don't exist, and for good reason. We hope you have a little chuckle, and if any entrepreneurs are reading: if we see any of these items hit the shelves in the next 12 months, we demand royalty payments.

1. Vegemite toothpaste

Vegemite is one of those things that you either love or hate. We love the stuff. But we draw the line at putting it on our teeth. Just imagine the taste!

We're also not sure that Vegemite breath would be all that pleasant for those around you. So we'll stick to eating our Vegemite on toast, thank you very much.

Because who doesn't love Vegemite breath? ​

2. VB air freshener

Another Aussie favourite that we love, but definitely wouldn't want to smell in our homes. The smell of stale beer and cigarettes is barely tolerable in a pub, and it's certainly not something we want wafting through our living rooms.

For when you want to recreate that beer and cigarette smell in your living room... ​

3. Emu egg mayonnaise

Emu eggs are huge! So we can only imagine how much mayonnaise we'd be able to make from just one of them. We're not sure we could stomach the idea of eating that much mayo, no matter how delicious it might be.

We reckon on emu egg would be enough to keep you in mayonnaise for months... ​

4. Quokka jerky

Quokkas are absolutely adorable, and we would never want to hurt one. So the idea of eating Quokka jerky is just plain wrong. Also, they're pretty small - we reckon you'd need at least one quokka to make a single bag of jerky.

Quokkas are way too cute to turn into jerky... Also, we think you'd need a lot of quokka just to make a single bag​

5. Ugg boots for cats

Ugg boots are already a bit of a fashion faux pas, but when you add cats into the equation, it's just a disaster waiting to happen. We can imagine nothing more than a bunch of grumpy cats walking around in boots that are too big for them, tripping over and looking generally miserable. Okay, this also sounds adorable but that doesn’t mean it’s a profitable idea!

We love ugg boots and we love cats. It's only natural the two should go together (Source: OpenAI)​

6. Milk arrowroot Cadbury chocolate

To be totally honest, this is one we'd actually be curious to try. But we have a feeling that the combination of milk arrowroot and Cadbury chocolate would be a bit too much for our taste buds. We're not sure we could handle the sweetness, but we'd be willing to give it a go (for science). Is anyone from Arnott's and/or Cadbury reading this?

Although the pic looks genuine, we're sad to say this product doesn't exist (yet). Get a move on, Arontt's and Cadbury!​

7. Tim tam cereal

This one is just plain cruel. We love Tim Tams, and the thought of turning them into cereal just seems like a torturous way to eat them. We would much rather just enjoy them as they are meant to be enjoyed: as a delicious chocolate biscuit with a cup of tea at the ready.

I mean, they can't be any worse for you than coco pops are, right?​

So what do you think of our list? Strange but wonderful, or just plain strange?

Do you have any other ideas for weird and wonderful Aussie products that don't exist? Let us know in the comments!

 

[Joyem]

Glad they're not around now.

 

[JayKay]

Puss in Boots looks cute.
Will say "Thanks, but No thanks" to these ideas!