[April Bradford]

10 of the funniest jokes from the Edinburgh fringe​

Something a little different for today! Here are some one-liners we loved.

1. Michael Spicer: Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw someone from work on a Saturday.

2. Susie McCabe: What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

3. Lou Sanders: I asked if I could change the vaccine I was getting and the guy said he’d get his supervisor. I thought that was like Pfizer but a really, really good one.

4. Eryn Tett: A spiritual guidance teacher playing hide and seek with kids: ‘All right, well, you guys go hide. And find yourselves.’

5. Ignacio Lopez: I come from a long line of immigrants. No, seriously, the queue was massive – the first thing they teach you when you move to the UK is queuing.

6. Olaf Falafel: I spent the whole morning building a time machine – that’s four hours of my life I’m definitely getting back.

7. Sophie Duker: Don’t knock threesomes. Having a threesome is like hiring an intern to do all the jobs you hate.

8. Ari Eldjárn: I never wanted a beard. But then it grew on me.

9. Tessa Coates: Got arrested for relaxing at a campsite the other day – loitering within tent.

10. Michael Akadiri: Being a doctor in comedy has got me some fans. I had a guy book tickets to see me because it was the quickest way to get a doctor’s appointment.

Which was your favourite?

 

[BJM]

Something a little different for today! Here are some one-liners we loved.

1. Michael Spicer: Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw someone from work on a Saturday.

2. Susie McCabe: What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

3. Lou Sanders: I asked if I could change the vaccine I was getting and the guy said he’d get his supervisor. I thought that was like Pfizer but a really, really good one.

4. Eryn Tett: A spiritual guidance teacher playing hide and seek with kids: ‘All right, well, you guys go hide. And find yourselves.’

5. Ignacio Lopez: I come from a long line of immigrants. No, seriously, the queue was massive – the first thing they teach you when you move to the UK is queuing.

6. Olaf Falafel: I spent the whole morning building a time machine – that’s four hours of my life I’m definitely getting back.

7. Sophie Duker: Don’t knock threesomes. Having a threesome is like hiring an intern to do all the jobs you hate.

8. Ari Eldjárn: I never wanted a beard. But then it grew on me.

9. Tessa Coates: Got arrested for relaxing at a campsite the other day – loitering within tent.

10. Michael Akadiri: Being a doctor in comedy has got me some fans. I had a guy book tickets to see me because it was the quickest way to get a doctor’s appointment.

Which was your favourite?

Got to be # 9 for me

 

[ainad2552]

Something a little different for today! Here are some one-liners we loved.

1. Michael Spicer: Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw someone from work on a Saturday.

2. Susie McCabe: What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

3. Lou Sanders: I asked if I could change the vaccine I was getting and the guy said he’d get his supervisor. I thought that was like Pfizer but a really, really good one.

4. Eryn Tett: A spiritual guidance teacher playing hide and seek with kids: ‘All right, well, you guys go hide. And find yourselves.’

5. Ignacio Lopez: I come from a long line of immigrants. No, seriously, the queue was massive – the first thing they teach you when you move to the UK is queuing.

6. Olaf Falafel: I spent the whole morning building a time machine – that’s four hours of my life I’m definitely getting back.

7. Sophie Duker: Don’t knock threesomes. Having a threesome is like hiring an intern to do all the jobs you hate.

8. Ari Eldjárn: I never wanted a beard. But then it grew on me.

9. Tessa Coates: Got arrested for relaxing at a campsite the other day – loitering within tent.

10. Michael Akadiri: Being a doctor in comedy has got me some fans. I had a guy book tickets to see me because it was the quickest way to get a doctor’s appointment.

Which was your favourite?

Definitely #10 - so true these days!

 

[Gazman]

Something a little different for today! Here are some one-liners we loved.

1. Michael Spicer: Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw someone from work on a Saturday.

2. Susie McCabe: What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

3. Lou Sanders: I asked if I could change the vaccine I was getting and the guy said he’d get his supervisor. I thought that was like Pfizer but a really, really good one.

4. Eryn Tett: A spiritual guidance teacher playing hide and seek with kids: ‘All right, well, you guys go hide. And find yourselves.’

5. Ignacio Lopez: I come from a long line of immigrants. No, seriously, the queue was massive – the first thing they teach you when you move to the UK is queuing.

6. Olaf Falafel: I spent the whole morning building a time machine – that’s four hours of my life I’m definitely getting back.

7. Sophie Duker: Don’t knock threesomes. Having a threesome is like hiring an intern to do all the jobs you hate.

8. Ari Eldjárn: I never wanted a beard. But then it grew on me.

9. Tessa Coates: Got arrested for relaxing at a campsite the other day – loitering within tent.

10. Michael Akadiri: Being a doctor in comedy has got me some fans. I had a guy book tickets to see me because it was the quickest way to get a doctor’s appointment.

Which was your favourite?

Number 10 probably rings a bell with us all!

 

[sbeaty2010]

what do you call a dear with no eyes?
no idea
what do you call a dear with no eyes and no legs?
still no idea
Steve

 

[Magus]

No 2 was the best but you'd have to be an ex smoker or smoker because the Zippo was a very old lighter that came out in the twenties. Sorry I have just looked at Google at they are very exciting lighters!

 

[Ricci]

Number 6 definitely tickled my fancy!

 

[Rag]

Something a little different for today! Here are some one-liners we loved.

1. Michael Spicer: Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw someone from work on a Saturday.

2. Susie McCabe: What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

3. Lou Sanders: I asked if I could change the vaccine I was getting and the guy said he’d get his supervisor. I thought that was like Pfizer but a really, really good one.

4. Eryn Tett: A spiritual guidance teacher playing hide and seek with kids: ‘All right, well, you guys go hide. And find yourselves.’

5. Ignacio Lopez: I come from a long line of immigrants. No, seriously, the queue was massive – the first thing they teach you when you move to the UK is queuing.

6. Olaf Falafel: I spent the whole morning building a time machine – that’s four hours of my life I’m definitely getting back.

7. Sophie Duker: Don’t knock threesomes. Having a threesome is like hiring an intern to do all the jobs you hate.

8. Ari Eldjárn: I never wanted a beard. But then it grew on me.

9. Tessa Coates: Got arrested for relaxing at a campsite the other day – loitering within tent.

10. Michael Akadiri: Being a doctor in comedy has got me some fans. I had a guy book tickets to see me because it was the quickest way to get a doctor’s appointment.

Which was your favourite?

Actually none. If that is modern comedy I will go and watch replays from the 80’s