[Michelle Engbino]

Would you still welcome back this friend after clearing out your fridge without consent?​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Capable_Candy6712.

'My husband and I live abroad. Earlier this year, a mutual acquaintance (let’s call him “K”) reached out saying he’d been scammed with an apartment rental and had nowhere to stay. At first, we only offered a weekend, but he was polite, helped around the house, and seemed grateful, so we ended up letting him stay the full 20 days he’d asked for.'

'During that time, some things rubbed us the wrong way. He never bought groceries, and multiple times he pretended he was going to pay but “forgot his wallet” or claimed he could only use Apple Pay (not accepted at our local supermarket). He’d eat way more than his share (once my husband and I shared half a pizza and he ate the other pizza and a half without contributing). Still, we felt bad for him, so we let it go.'

'We stayed friendly, and a few months later we were planning a 17-day trip. Since he was struggling with rent, we offered him to stay at our place in exchange for taking care of our dog. I even wrote a Google Doc with instructions for the house, dog care, gym access, etc. I told him he could eat anything that was going to expire (fruit, veggies, yogurt, etc.).'

'When we came back… EVERYTHING was gone. And I mean everything. The entire fridge, freezer, pantry. He finished two jars of jam, a jar of peanut butter, a giant Costco bottle of olive oil, condiments, rice, snacks, cheese, even my husband’s supplements (creatine, protein, collagen). He completely destroyed a ceramic pan. He consumed things that usually last us six months in just 2 weeks. I honestly suspect he might have taken stuff with him because it’s insane how much was missing.'

'I didn’t confront him except to ask him to replace the pan, which he mocked me about (“it’s just a pan, why are you making it a big deal?”). I felt deeply disrespected. Now he keeps texting me, acting like nothing happened, and wants to hang out. I told my husband I don’t want him in our home ever again. My husband says I’m being too harsh, and if he wants to stay friends, that’s his choice, but I feel completely taken advantage of and disrespected.'

'So… am I being unreasonable for not wanting to see this guy ever again and refusing to let him come back to our house?'

 

[Never eat yellow snow]

Yep, we have experienced similar situations. It certainly hurts when folk take advantage of your generosity

 

[wildroseforever]

Do not let him back into your life.

 

[Benny's Light]

He is totally disrespectful for your help and generosity. Do not let him back into your life, he is not a real friend but a user.

 

[Shazza26]

I think that is awful - free rent was gift enough. To eat you out of all that stuff and not offer to replace a special pan he ruined is just rude for my money. Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth. Your first clue would have been the pizza situation.

He would never be allowed back in my house unless he was desperate and I locked everything up and cleaned out the fridge so there was nothing left.

If your husband thinks what he did is okay then he can replace the pan out of his own $$ and meet his friend outside of your house. If he disrespects your request about this, that’s a different conversation.

I hope he listens to you.

 

[Ingrid_g]

WOW, what a rude fellow.
No, I would not like that type of person coming over again.

 

[Jim bowling]

kick his arse

 

[Dreams]

It is a hard situation.
I would agree with you but unfortunately your husband wants to stay friends.

Maybe tell your husband that you will meet up with him outside somewhere and not in your house.

 

[waggadragon1]

Tell him to go to hell he is a loser with friends like that you don't need enemies

 

[Charlotte59]

I sure as hell wouldn't welcome him back. I would consider what he did as being theft. I've had family do that to me, and there's no way that i will allow back in my house to stay.

 

[meighLeigh]

I certainly wouldn't want to know him in future - or let him in my house.
He didn't 'disrespect' you - he stole from you. If he'd had any self respect he would have replaced what was damaged, and at least left you with some food in the 'fridge and pantry

 

[mOiOz]

Yep, we have experienced similar situations. It certainly hurts when folk take advantage of your generosity

TOUCHE! happened to me more than a few times!
I was just discussing a recent one with a friend.
When someone says, 'Help yourself', at a party or BBQ etc, I always thought it meant, take what you need.

Apparently, it does not seem to apply in your home, when there is no party!

 

[Parrot]

How on earth did that “ not trust worthy “ person consume all that stuff..
I reckon if you went and checked his pantry you would have found some
Of your stuff there not forgetting the Fridge as well. Ungrateful person..

 

[Luckyus]

I'd have got your husband to pay the shite out of him before he paid up, then you pisseed him off out your life?