[mjm9]

The brilliant Steven Wright​

 

[Viellarde]

Number 19 has been stuck on my desk for 3 decades.

 

[Littleboy8]

There all great thanks.

 

[mOiOz]

Steven Wright, sure ain't wrong!!!

 

[Luckyus]

Knock, knock. (Who's there?) Hey Wood. (Hey Wood who?) Hey would you eat me out?

 

[Luckyus]

Knock, knock. (Who's there?) Tara.
(Tara who?) Tara McClosoff.

 

[Luckyus]

Knock, knock. (Who's there?)
Dewey! (Dewey who?)
Dewey have a condom handy?

 

[Luckyus]

Knock, knock. (Who's there?) Orange. (Orange who?) Orange you glad this isn't actually a banana?

 

[louarrivolo]

Read any good books lately? I recommend ;
Camel ride by Major Bumsore
Falling from heights by Eileen Dover
Cats revenge by Claude Balls
Mind your language by Argus Tuft
happy reading folks

 

[Luckyus]

My grief counselor died.
He was so good,
I don’t give a bugger.

 

[Luckyus]

"My older relatives liked to tease me at weddings,
Saying things like, “You’ll be next!”
They stopped once
I started doing the same to them at funerals."

 

[Luckyus]

"I just came across my wife’s
Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies.
She is not “fun to be around.”"

 

[Luckyus]

"Today, I asked my phone
“Siri, why am I still single?”
And it activated the front camera."

 

[Viellarde]

"Today, I asked my phone
“Siri, why am I still single?”
And it activated the front camera."

Never investigate illusion and delusion.
That's how I keep happy!

 

[Luckyus]

Never investigate illusion and delusion.
That's how I keep happy!

Could have told me, it was Alexa?

 

[Luckyus]

What is the worst combination of illnesses?

Alzheimer’s and diarrhea.
You’re running but can’t remember where.

 

[Viellarde]

What is the worst combination of illnesses?

Alzheimer’s and diarrhea.
You’re running but can’t remember where.

Nooooo