[Danielle F.]

Is this woman's behaviour a sign of love, or a red flag for a toxic friendship?​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/lieutenantspoon:

'I 26F, have been close friends with someone named Jane, 25F for about 7 years. She’s always been clingy and a bit overbearing, but never to this extent. The behaviours began as soon as I found out and told her I was pregnant.'

'We used to share locations, but after finding out about my pregnancy, she started tracking it. Asking me multiple times per day where I was, what I was doing there, who’s house I was at, why I was at their house, etc. I told her it bothered me and I turned my location off. She also began blowing up my phone when I didn’t immediately respond, stalking my facebook friends list and questioning why I was friends with certain individuals, and asking me repeatedly if I loved my other friends more than her.

I told her I didn’t like these behaviours and that I was confused because she never used to act like this. She told me she was just looking out for my safety and well-being and that I was just being super emotional and sensitive because I was pregnant.'

'After this I stopped contact with her for a couple of weeks. She apologised and I felt like she got the memo. Jane respected my boundaries and stopped doing these weird behaviours. It didn't last long.

Two weeks later, my son was delivered via emergency cesarean. He was resuscitated at birth and life flighted to a neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) 3 hours from me. I didn’t get to meet him for 4 days due to me haemorrhaging after delivery. During that time, I wasnt answering my phone due to stress. So she started blowing up my husbands phone. 13 messages. He instantly blocked her.

The next 3 weeks while my son was in the nicu, she repeatedly asked me why my husband blocked her. I told her why. She told me it wasn’t fair and that he was mean because she was just worried about me. She started demanding my location again. Blowing up my phone again saying she wants to meet my son. I was too stressed to even respond.'

'We finally got home after 3 weeks and I deliberately wasn’t telling this friend that we were home. I wasn’t ready for the overbearing behaviour in person. The same day we got home, she texted me saying “I drove past your house to see if you guys had finally made it home”, and started asking when she could meet our son. I told her I wasn’t ready for that.

Another friend of mine, Abby, came over to drop off an owlet sock she bought me. We invited her to meet and hang out with the baby and took a picture of her holding him. She asked if she could post on social media, and we didn’t mind at all.

Later, I get a giant text message from Jane saying how hurt she was that Abby got to meet our baby before her. She said it wasn’t fair because she checked on me so much while we were in the NICU.

To that I said, other people checked on us too, but did it without being creepy and weird like Jane had been. I started getting texts from her friends and family saying I need to be more understanding and sensitive about Jane’s feelings.'

 

[Taryn]

I’m speechless!!!!!!

 

[Mrstug55]

A very disturbed individual.
Take great care.
Stalking behaviour that should be reported.

 

[bj.reisen]

A bit much. Drop like a hot potato. Disturbing behaviour. You don't need the extra stress.

 

[electricblanket]

This girl's family and friends should be told, gently, that she needs psychological treatment

 

[MariaG]

This has all the hall marks of future stalker.
The main thing in this situation is to protect the baby and mum. Someone who is so emotionally attached could easily turn to reactive behaviour. Not a good situation.
One thing for certain. I would never ask her to babysit.
Cut all ties, even if it means a report to police...hate to say it... but...anything could happen.

 

[Rotten1]

Currently a stalker

 

[relljube]

Cut and run! No mention of the husband's reaction to this unwanted attention. Apart from during the hospital stay, is he aware of this constant harassment?
Time to call the police on this - she is dangerous.

 

[Veggiepatch]

Probably a ChatGPT generated story submitted to Reddit, Quora or some social media platform to garner public sympathy without reason.

Honestly, I am getting sick of these made up stories that are rampant on Quora and Reddit especially.

 

[HelenB55]

Your “friend” sounds like she’s a stalker.

Best to keep as far away as possible from her.

 

[Frida1944]

Definitely stalker territory! Caution should be exercised - this could end in tragedy!

 

[DLHM]

Probably a ChatGPT generated story submitted to Reddit, Quora or some social media platform to garner public sympathy without reason.

Honestly, I am getting sick of these made up stories that are rampant on Quora and Reddit especially.

I’ve read plenty of fake stories on Quora. Some are obvious and some are not so obvious. I’ve always preferred to read non-fiction. I leave fiction to watching movies and/or tv shows.