[Suzanne rose]

Aged care advice pleas​

My brother has been looking after my mother in Taree for the past 8 years and they are constantly arguing and there is so much drama.

She has a nurse going in to shower her everyday.

It's really hard for me to go up to Taree often. I'm in Sydney. I know my mum wants to come and live with me but I just can't do it.
Our mother wasn't a mother to us growing up, actually never cared. I was lucky that my grandparents ( her parents) raised me. My brother wasn't so lucky and I feel he holds a lot of hate for her.

I want to bring her to Sydney and put her into age care, so I can visit her every second day, take her on day trips and try to give her some quality of life.

She has no money other than her pension and is in a private rental house

Can someone please advise me on what I need to do.

Much appreciated

Suzanne

 

[Penny4]

Does she have to come to Sydney? There are homes in Taree and Wingham. I know someone who has his own unit in a retirement place in Wingham.

 

[Suzanne rose]

Does she have to come to Sydney? There are homes in Taree and Wingham. I know someone who has his own unit in a retirement place in Wingham.

She doesn't own any property.
I'm going to call MSN I think it is who provides homecare and see if they can get her into respite care for a week or two.

Why I was looking at Sydney is because I can visit her every couple of days, I can bring her to mine once a week and also take her on day trips. My mother is only 14 years older than me.
I'm 63 she just turned 77 in march

 

[Suzanne rose]

Does she have to come to Sydney? There are homes in Taree and Wingham. I know someone who has his own unit in a retirement place in Wingham.

Did he have to purchase the unit or put money up for a deposit.
Mum can walk and puts herself to bed but has a nurse come in daily to shower her

 

[Penny4]

Did he have to purchase the unit or put money up for a deposit.
Mum can walk and puts herself to bed but has a nurse come in daily to shower her

I know there are some retirement units for rent, but he had a house that he sold, so I reckon he bought the unit. Full pensioners get a better rate rent than self retirees.

 

[Suzanne rose]

I know there are some retirement units for rent, but he had a house that he sold, so I reckon he bought the unit. Full pensioners get a better rate rent than self retirees.

I'm feeling like I need to go to Taree but I'm totally exhausted by spreading myself thin with my kids

I really don't feel like dealing with my brother who is an alcoholic

 

[Penny4]

I'm feeling like I need to go to Taree but I'm totally exhausted by spreading myself thin with my kids

I know! I'm wondering how you are going to fit your mother in with your own kids/grandbabies.

 

[Penny4]

I'm feeling like I need to go to Taree but I'm totally exhausted by spreading myself thin with my kids

I really don't feel like dealing with my brother who is an alcoholic

Yes, that's hard.

 

[Littleboy8]

She doesn't own any property.
I'm going to call MSN I think it is who provides homecare and see if they can get her into respite care for a week or two.

Why I was looking at Sydney is because I can visit her every couple of days, I can bring her to mine once a week and also take her on day trips. My mother is only 14 years older than me.
I'm 63 she just turned 74

That’s eleven years older than you typo

 

[Suzanne rose]

I know! I'm wondering how you are going to fit your mother in with your own kids/grandbabies.

There really aren't enough hours in the day. But I have to do what I have to do. If she comes to Sydney, a couple of my daughters will also visit her . Some of my kids are angry with her for not being a proper mother to her kids, Sophie won't even acknowledge her and can't understand why I buy her clothes or even have contact
I said in the end that she is my mother, I feel she regrets what she has done or didn't do.

I just had a call from someone. Do you remember just over two years ago I had to plan my uncles funeral ? Well, his wife is on her last and her nephew called me to tell me so I will be ready to help with her funeral

 

[Penny4]

There really aren't enough hours in the day. But I have to do what I have to do. If she comes to Sydney, a couple of my daughters will also visit her . Some of my kids are angry with her for not being a proper mother to her kids, Sophie won't even acknowledge her and can't understand why I buy her clothes or even have contact
I said in the end that she is my mother, I feel she regrets what she has done or didn't do.

I just had a call from someone. Do you remember just over two years ago I had to plan my uncles funeral ? Well, his wife is on her last and her nephew called me to tell me so I will be ready to help with her funeral

Sorry, I just gave a quick call to the elderly man I know in Wingham. He went to primary school with my mother. He's 92 and not well either. He now has cancer. Not nice being old.

I'm sure your mother has regrets, like all mothers do about things.
Sorry to hear about your aunty. At least funerals are easier to organise than weddings. That's on the bright side that we need sometimes.

 

[Suzanne rose]

That’s eleven years older than you typo

Haha it should have said I'm 63 she is 77. She turned 77 on the 17th of march I will be 64 in October

 

[Littleboy8]

There really aren't enough hours in the day. But I have to do what I have to do. If she comes to Sydney, a couple of my daughters will also visit her . Some of my kids are angry with her for not being a proper mother to her kids, Sophie won't even acknowledge her and can't understand why I buy her clothes or even have contact
I said in the end that she is my mother, I feel she regrets what she has done or didn't do.

I just had a call from someone. Do you remember just over two years ago I had to plan my uncles funeral ? Well, his wife is on her last and her nephew called me to tell me so I will be ready to help with her funeral

You have sisters don’t you why can’t they help.

 

[Suzanne rose]

You have sisters don’t you why can’t they help.

One lives in Logan QLD the other is in Taree and both are junkies. Another one lives in Brisbane and wants nothing to do with her. One is missing abd the youngest is an alcoholic and lives in Redfern Sydney.
Great family hey

 

[Littleboy8]

One lives in Logan QLD the other is in Taree and both are junkies. Another one lives in Brisbane and wants nothing to do with her. One is missing abd the youngest is an alcoholic and lives in Redfern Sydney.
Great family hey

Oh! Crap so sorry I forgot

 

[Suzanne rose]

Oh! Crap so sorry I forgot

Her case manger for the age care in Taree has told me they will try to get her into independent living in Taree then transfer her to Sydney.
Trouble is because of the floods they have doubled up due to repairs.

I rang a couple near me and was told someone will get back to me.

Looks like I have to do a trip to Taree to get power of attorney done and to tell my brother off. OMG he tried to feed her cat food last night. I hate travelling by myself

 

[Littleboy8]

Her case manger for the age care in Taree has told me they will try to get her into independent living in Taree then transfer her to Sydney.
Trouble is because of the floods they have doubled up due to repairs.

I rang a couple near me and was told someone will get back to me.

Looks like I have to do a trip to Taree to get power of attorney done and to tell my brother off. OMG he tried to feed her cat food last night. I hate travelling by myself

Pity you live so far away I’d go with you