[Luckyus]

Your Say Sunday Poll: Do you think it's okay to smack children/grandchildren?​

Members,

It’s BACK! It’s Your Say Sunday and that means we want to hear from you (well, we always want to hear from you but this is just in a fancy poll format ).

We have a contentious one to mark the return of Your Say Sunday. Are you ready?

Do you think it's okay to smack children/grandchildren?

We would love to hear your reasoning and experiences in the comments so get typing!

I only got a smacked arse once, for doing something wrong and I knew what it was for so didn't do it again. Mind you didn't stop me from buggering up again, I was thinking of changing my name to Ben Dover!!

 

[Leanne D]

Certainly a smack of correction has done no one any harm. The lack of it is why our community is so bad now, the children were never taught right from wrong, they have to make up their own minds!! how ridiculous.

A small smack on the hand and a firm NO! , is much better than a pot of hot cooking, fire or pulling heavy furniture on them is!

 

[glennm257]

I've never believed in smacking children . I've always done punishments by removing a much loved item for a certain time , this included video games.
My other punishment was time out and if my eldest 2 sons would fight then I would make them hug for a few minutes and sing ' we are the very best brothers.

I hate if a child hits another child then the parent hits them. This is confusing a child especially a young child . You are doing to them what they just did to someone else.
It's the samething with biting I have seen parents bite their child back, again confusing them.

You also need to come down to the child's eye level and tell them what they did was wrong and ask them if they know what they did and how now they have to be punished.

Bad behaviour can't be ignored and has to be dealt with correctly

Abuse is abuse and is never ok.

When you look at bully's you will find they are how they are because of the abuse they are copping from their parents and guardian's.

No , Grandparents shouldn't smack but a stern talking to is ok .

first you should try to talk to the child. only parents should smack a child, on the bottom and lightly
so the child knows what they are doing needs to stop and then the parent should explain why they were smacked. never smack a child when you are angry.

 

[Bikkie mum]

My great grandchildren don’t get smacked , they have to go
to time out, depending what they have done how long it lasts for
one dad,uncle only has to say right your in time out it can be sitting
in a corner or having a toy taken away ,they then have to. Tell whoever
they did something to ,they are sorry n big cuddle given to the one that’s been
hurt ,parent child ,even me if shown disrespect to ages 3,5,6,6,8 years

 

[Anoush]

I was bought up with firm disipline in the 50's,,,jug cord,,pieces of timber,,cup of tea thrown over me,luckily it wasn't hot just to name a few,,,I vowed never to treat my children like that,,,,when they were little ,yes they got a smack on the behind ,as they grew into teens punishment was not being allowed to go visit friends,that hurt my youngest more or clean their rooms up,..I never smacked them on the top of the hand,,a lot of vital nerves live there,,,,,The majority of kids today lack any form of disipline and therefore are right horrors,,,swearing,,mocking people as they walk by,,being very intimidating and starting at only about 10 yrs old ,,,,they walk around all night casing peoples homes then go back at a later night and take what they want also a lot do it during the day with no fear,,,,the judicial system is not helping either,,I fear we are heading for an onslaught of crimes in the future,,many more than now,,,,young ones think mine is their's,,the difference is I worked for what I have ,,,today's kids will NOT and do NOT handle punishment ,they stand in your face and totally defy anything you say to them

 

[Lesleymorris58]

My children received an occasional smack on the bottom for really bad behaviour. We currently have a wave of youth crime across the country, including violence using weapons. A mother was knifed to death in a home break in a few weeks ago. I don't think 'time out' or sitting in the naughty corner would stop these criminal brats.

I don’t think a smack on the bottom will either

 

[Vio Kot]

A smack and a belting are 2 very different things. A child needs some form of discipline especially when they start to understand the concept from about the age of 3 upwards in most cases. Parents (not grandparents) should be the disciplinarian. A light smack on the bottom or hand with an explanation of why is not going to harm a child's development. They will learn there are consequences to their actions and somethings are dangerous. As they get older, discussion is generally a much better option than smacking.

 

[Shirley Sargent]

No phones or video games in our day. If we did something wrong then we deserved a smack and knew not to do it again. This smack was only ever on legs or backside. But to us, it hurt and we knew the meaning. THE TROUBLE IS PARENTS SEEM TO WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH THEIR KIDS NOT ROLE MODELS THESE DAYS AND IT JUST DOESN'T WORK FOR MOST.

 

[lea61]

I did smack my children because that was what we did but I would never last a hand on my grandchildren I have learnt there are better ways to discipline a child. Plus my grandsons all 7 of them are like their grandma PERRRFECTTT

 

[Mars]

My Children got a smack on the legs or Bottom when they were old enough to know why. They have now grown up and I am proud of them. My older Daughter shut her son in his bedroom one time to punish him. He climbed out of his window and came to our house. I sensed something was wrong and phoned my daughter and asked her where her son was. She said in his bedroom because he was naughty. the kids these days haven't been disaplind anywhere enough.

 

[SGREENE]

Smacking is ok up to the age of say 3 or 4 as a child under that age cannot fully understand other types of corrective behaviour. One slap with a firm NO is all that should be needed. Pass that age I believe a child can understand corrective behaviour like, time out or explaining why you have taken their favourite toy or made them sit in a corner (and never facing the wall).
But always remember if your hand slap has left a mark that last for more than a minute or two than you have slapped that child too hard.

I very rarely chastised my daughter but one day she was so naughty (I believe) and I was so stressed and frustrated that I gave her a couple of smacks on her bottom and they left a red mark. My daughter is now 51 and we are very close but I have felt guilty for smacking her that way, for all these years. I must say that she has grown into a lovely human being, a great wife, mother and daughter, so I don't feel that I ruined her in any way.
So saying, I don't believe a small tap on the bottom with a firm "NO" ever did any harm.

 

[SGREENE]

Smacking is ok up to the age of say 3 or 4 as a child under that age cannot fully understand other types of corrective behaviour. One slap with a firm NO is all that should be needed. Pass that age I believe a child can understand corrective behaviour like, time out or explaining why you have taken their favourite toy or made them sit in a corner (and never facing the wall).
But always remember if your hand slap has left a mark that last for more than a minute or two than you have slapped that child too hard.

I very rarely chastised my daughter but one day she was so naughty (I believe) and I was so stressed and frustrated that I gave her a couple of smacks on her bottom and they left a red mark. My daughter is now 51 and we are very close but I have felt guilty for smacking her that way, for all these years. I must say that she has grown into a lovely human being, a great wife, mother and daughter, so I don't feel that I ruined her in any way.
So saying, I don't believe a small tap on the bottom with a firm "NO" ever did any harm.

 

[margie]

they should bring the strap back into the schools the kids are getting away with disrespecting the teachers swearing at them it's no good no respect they need the strap that's it or it will never change margie

 

[Ricci]

We raised our children with love, buckets of it but occasionally the odd smack. There has to lines drawn for acceptable behaviour and they must know there are consequences for crossing those lines. I am in no way countenancing violence, sometimes the threat of a smack is enough. We used to count down from five to our kids and recently our son asked what would have happened if we ever got to zero, and to be truthful I had no idea, we never got that far!!

 

[Lelly]

Smacking is ok up to the age of say 3 or 4 as a child under that age cannot fully understand other types of corrective behaviour. One slap with a firm NO is all that should be needed. Pass that age I believe a child can understand corrective behaviour like, time out or explaining why you have taken their favourite toy or made them sit in a corner (and never facing the wall).
But always remember if your hand slap has left a mark that last for more than a minute or two than you have slapped that child too hard.

I agree that there is no point in taking away favourite toys etc. My younger daughter could go from “I want that” to Screaming, rolling on the floor and vomiting in less than ten seconds flat. In public this is just not exceptable. So she was picked taken outside smacked, cleaned up and then when the noise stopped returned to where it had started. Her last tantrum was at age 5!!
When they (4 kids in all) asked if they could have something in a shop the answer was always “I’ll think about it” or a firm “no” if they asked again or got upset. If they accepted “no” they would sometimes come home a few days later to it wrapped on their bed. My yes always meant yes and my No, no!
My children range from 46 - 25 yrs and they are well adjusted active members of the community involved in volunteer work. Don’t smoke, don’t take drugs, don’t even swear. I’m proud of who they are and if they are who they are because I showed them what is acceptable in society. I done my job well.

 

[Lelly]

We raised our children with love, buckets of it but occasionally the odd smack. There has to lines drawn for acceptable behaviour and they must know there are consequences for crossing those lines. I am in no way countenancing violence, sometimes the threat of a smack is enough. We used to count down from five to our kids and recently our son asked what would have happened if we ever got to zero, and to be truthful I had no idea, we never got that far!!

I agree with everything you say! But I only counted to 3 and I never had to get to zero either

 

[Nana Zorak]

What many don't seem to know is the word is KNOW! is the first part of the word KNOWLEDGE is what I told my child and the friends I have met since I thought about it about forty years back.

When someone says NO! The W is silent.

What is actually being said is KNOWLEDGE IS HERE! and there is always a reason for the sound.

As in KNOW you can't have that (then explain why) or KNOW you can't do that (then explain) "Know when this sound is explained to a child (or a young adult) that it is not a blanket Deniel, but that something important to them and others is being shared. The word KNOW really does inform a child (Or an adult) that there is a REASON why something needs to be understood.

Rationalize with the child or adult about the sound and what it means and see for yourself what it does, so that when you say things like KNOW you can't stay up late because you have school tomorrow etc. that you let them know they are being assisted and informed and not being told off!

It's not hard, it's easy to explain and if they refuse to accept life knowledge? it's on them.

Our part is to assist and to be assisted when others say KNOW don't do that! That there's a reason and if we don't know what the reason is? We ASK!

Your simplification is stupid logic. Kids today don't want knowledge, they want what you have from working years as we all have to, except the youth of today think they can get it quicker by stealing your stuff. I blame the parents who let these youths run riot over themselves & society because no one had the wish to control them as that meant admitting that they were wrong in not smacking them to instil respect in them at a young age when they are still impressionable. As someone else said 'Spare the rod & spoil the child'. I remember I was 17 the last time my dad tried to smack me. I had skipped a couple of days off from college to follow my interest in History. The college was in London, so there was plenty of history to delve into. I told him that if he hit me it would be the last time. he didn't then & never tried again. I finished college & went on to be a dressmaker who has never lost interest in History

 

[Sylvsptr]

I light smack on the hand if they are doing something wrong. And the tone of your voice should be enough. My Dad just had to give us the look and that was enough

 

[margaretritchie48]

I believe the problem these days with the longer generations is lack of discipline. Granted that, in our day, teachers, parents and caregivers went overboard with the whole discipline thing, but I firmly believe that bad behaviour deserves a reasonably firm smack on the bottom or back of legs with an open hand. Implements should never be used. Kids need to learn that there are severe consequences for bad behaviour, not just a firm word.

I agree. The only other time to do a tiny smack is on the hand if the child was going to touch something dangerous.

 

[Malkosh1]

One cannot legislate against violence. It is in our blood. We entertain ourselves by watching violence on TV and in movies. And yet we have laws that have no consequences. Youth crime is increasing. The police have their hands tied behind their backs, and the youth laugh at them because they cannot touch them. Do you know that violence is a form of communication? It should be a last resort; why should we have war? We are indeed living in a fool's paradise.