You won't believe what this cafe customer did—has entitlement gone too far?

Cafés: the unofficial living rooms of Australia. Whether you’re after a flat white, a cheeky slice of cake, or just a place to people-watch, there’s no denying that our local coffee shops are a melting pot of personalities and purposes. But what happens when those purposes clash? Well, one recent café kerfuffle in Melbourne has sparked a heated debate online—and it’s got everyone asking: who’s really being entitled here?

Let’s set the scene. A Melbourne woman, seeking a peaceful spot to study with friends, settled into her favourite café. Books open, pens poised, the group was ready for a productive session. But just as they were getting into the groove, a group of mums with young children swooped in and took the seats right next to them—despite there being plenty of other tables available. The mums, as mums with little ones tend to be, were a bit on the noisy side.



Feeling a bit put out, the student took to Reddit to ask: 'Are we overreacting or is this extremely entitled?' She explained, '15 other seating options and this loud group of women with their loud kids sat right behind a few of us studying/reading. We are lightly debating this within our study group.'

She argued that, out of courtesy, the group could have chosen seats further away from those clearly seeking a quiet space. 'Personally, if I’m going to make noise or talk, I opt to sit where others are doing the same—or at least not sit near others that are clearly seeking a quiet space. To me, that’s considerate,' she wrote.


Screenshot 2025-05-28 at 9.36.22 AM.png
Do you think they are overreacting? Credit: r/FlinflanFluddle4 / Reddit



But as it turns out, the internet wasn’t exactly on her side.

The Great Café Debate: Who’s Right?

Some commenters did sympathise, agreeing that it’s a bit rude to plonk yourself (and your noisy brood) right next to someone who’s clearly studying, especially when there are other tables free. 'Let’s not deny the loud and rude exist. I’ve been in quite a few restaurants seated beside tables of neanderthals yelling at the top of their voices. Only solution is to move to a table far away or leave,' one person lamented.



Another added, 'I think it’s rude if there were a bunch of other tables available and they sat down right next to you reading and started being really loud.'

But the majority of responses were less sympathetic—and, in fact, turned the tables on the original poster. 'Yeah, it’s a café, not a library. Can’t expect people to be quiet,' one person pointed out. Another was even more blunt: 'Very entitled of you, yes. You’re studying in a public place, there will be noise. Grow up.'

Others chimed in with similar sentiments: 'It’s a café, so you’re going to have to put up with other people while you’re there. It’s a stretch to think that other people are going to deliberately go out of their way to make sure you have a nice barrier of quiet space.'



Some even suggested that if peace and quiet were so important, the student should have chosen a library or a park instead. 'You chose to study at a place designed for social gathering, that’s on you,' one commenter said. Another added, 'Go study and read at the library.'

Cafés: Social Hubs or Study Sanctuaries?

This little drama raises a bigger question: what are cafés actually for? Are they social spaces where chatter and laughter are part of the charm, or have they become the new libraries, where silence is golden and laptops rule the roost?



The truth is, cafés have always been a bit of both. They’re places to catch up with friends, hold informal meetings, or simply enjoy a moment of solitude with a good book. But as more people work and study remotely, the lines have blurred. It’s not uncommon to see laptops, textbooks, and even the odd Zoom call happening over a long black.

But with that flexibility comes a need for compromise. If you’re after absolute silence, a café might not be your best bet—especially during the busy morning rush or after-school hours. On the other hand, if you’re part of a noisy group, a little awareness of your surroundings can go a long way.

Aussie Café Etiquette: Is There a Middle Ground?



So, what’s the solution? Is there a secret code of café conduct we should all be following?

Here are a few tips for harmonious café coexistence:

Pick your time wisely: If you need quiet, try visiting during off-peak hours.
Scope out the space: If you’re in a group (especially with kids), maybe give solo diners or studiers a bit of space.
Bring headphones: If you’re studying or working, a good pair of noise-cancelling headphones can be a lifesaver.
Be flexible: If things get too noisy, don’t be afraid to move to another table—or another venue.
Remember, it’s a shared space: A little consideration goes a long way, no matter which side of the debate you’re on.



What Do You Think, SDC Members?

We know our community is full of seasoned café-goers, and we’d love to hear your take! Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? Do you think cafés should be quiet sanctuaries, or is a bit of noise all part of the experience? And what’s your go-to move when things get a bit too rowdy?

Key Takeaways
  • A Melbourne woman sparked debate online after complaining that a noisy group sat near her study group in a cafe, despite there being plenty of other seating options.
  • While some agreed it was inconsiderate for the group to sit noisily beside people quietly studying, most commenters felt it was unreasonable to expect quiet in a public cafe setting.
  • Many pointed out that cafes are social spaces and noise is to be expected, with suggestions for those wanting quiet to choose libraries or parks instead.
  • The original poster was labelled 'entitled' by several commenters, who argued it’s unrealistic to expect others to cater to your quiet preferences in a communal environment like a cafe.

Share your thoughts, stories, and café etiquette tips in the comments below—let’s settle this debate once and for all!
 
  • Like
Reactions: 7777

Seniors Discount Club

Sponsored content

Info
Loading data . . .
I personally think you go to a Cafe firstly for a coffee and meal and possibly to catch up with friends.
However I don't think you should be taking up tables to read,study, whatever.
I have been to cafes in the past where you couldn't get a table because people who had purchased a coffee then think it's OK to park there for an hour or so just chatting, not buying.
Those type of people are the entitled ones.
This is the Cafe owners livelihood and IMO if you have finished then you should move on and not hog tables that may be required by paying customers.
 
Better still.

Don't go to cafes full stop.

This morning, I had the wonderful experience of attending a cafe about 200 metres from where we live with family. The place was crawling with lycra clad boofheads with their bikes lying all over the place.

To put the icing on the cake, I asked for a strawberry milkshake only to be informed that they only sell vanilla and chocolate! WTF!!

So I sat there as a non paying occupant of a seat, while @DLHM and her daughter and hubby had coffee. Hell would have broken loose if I was asked to leave.

Additionally, as I didn't purchase anything so I wasn't aware of a public holiday surcharge was charged (public holiday in WA) but there was NO signage at the counter indicating such.

No wonder cafes are the pits of social gatherings and I gladly cheer when they go down the spout. Overpriced opportunists the lot of them!
 
Better still.

Don't go to cafes full stop.

This morning, I had the wonderful experience of attending a cafe about 200 metres from where we live with family. The place was crawling with lycra clad boofheads with their bikes lying all over the place.

To put the icing on the cake, I asked for a strawberry milkshake only to be informed that they only sell vanilla and chocolate! WTF!!

So I sat there as a non paying occupant of a seat, while @DLHM and her daughter and hubby had coffee. Hell would have broken loose if I was asked to leave.

Additionally, as I didn't purchase anything so I wasn't aware of a public holiday surcharge was charged (public holiday in WA) but there was NO signage at the counter indicating such.

No wonder cafes are the pits of social gatherings and I gladly cheer when they go down the spout. Overpriced opportunists the lot of them!
I like going to cafes. ☕
 
If there is no ,Quiet Seating Area, sign on the walls of the cafe, then that means there will be laughter, loud conversations and loud voices.
If one needs peace and quiet during their studies on their laptops, then perhaps one could purchase a coffee and take it with them to a quieter location like a library.
If I was told to tone down my conversation, or move to another table because the people I was with laughed or spoke a bit loud, then I done think that I would be returning to that cafe anymore.
Cafes are a place to freely enjoy your coffee, your meal, your conversation, your happy laughter with the company of your friends. 🙏🦋
 
  • Like
Reactions: Glucose and novezar
I think its nice to be able to meet friends for a bit of study but a cafe is a public place and if you’re going to be there for a while you are stopping other people from enjoying a cuppa by hogging the table. I wonder if the owners like having you there for a lengthy period.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Glucose and novezar
Better still.

Don't go to cafes full stop.

This morning, I had the wonderful experience of attending a cafe about 200 metres from where we live with family. The place was crawling with lycra clad boofheads with their bikes lying all over the place.

To put the icing on the cake, I asked for a strawberry milkshake only to be informed that they only sell vanilla and chocolate! WTF!!

So I sat there as a non paying occupant of a seat, while @DLHM and her daughter and hubby had coffee. Hell would have broken loose if I was asked to leave.

Additionally, as I didn't purchase anything so I wasn't aware of a public holiday surcharge was charged (public holiday in WA) but there was NO signage at the counter indicating such.

No wonder cafes are the pits of social gatherings and I gladly cheer when they go down the spout. Overpriced opportunists the lot of them!
Boofheads !! I love it. 👍🤣😂
 
  • Like
Reactions: Veggiepatch

Join the conversation

News, deals, games, and bargains for Aussies over 60. From everyday expenses like groceries and eating out, to electronics, fashion and travel, the club is all about helping you make your money go further.

Seniors Discount Club

The SDC searches for the best deals, discounts, and bargains for Aussies over 60. From everyday expenses like groceries and eating out, to electronics, fashion and travel, the club is all about helping you make your money go further.
  1. New members
  2. Jokes & fun
  3. Photography
  4. Nostalgia / Yesterday's Australia
  5. Food and Lifestyle
  6. Money Saving Hacks
  7. Offtopic / Everything else
  • We believe that retirement should be a time to relax and enjoy life, not worry about money. That's why we're here to help our members make the most of their retirement years. If you're over 60 and looking for ways to save money, connect with others, and have a laugh, we’d love to have you aboard.
  • Advertise with us

User Menu

Enjoyed Reading our Story?

  • Share this forum to your loved ones.
Change Weather Postcode×
Change Petrol Postcode×