Disclaimer: The names in asterisks (*) were changed for privacy purposes.

Navigating the financial waters can be a daunting task, especially when it comes to marriages and managing household finances.

While it takes two to tango, a cautionary tale highlighted the perils of leaving financial management in the hands of just one person.

Sharee* was about to buy a new business.

This purchase was meant to be a culmination of decades of hard work, dedication, and grit.

However, days before this milestone, an unexpected phone call turned her world upside down.

The current business owner had a bizarre request.

Sharee was about to unlock a new milestone when her husband made a strange request. Image Credit: Pexels/Vera Arsic

Sharee's husband requested that the business be delayed for six more months.

'I think you need to talk to your husband or perhaps call your bank,' the seller stated.

Confused and alarmed, Sharee immediately went to her bank, only to discover a financial nightmare.

According to the bank, Sharee's husband had emptied all their accounts—years of savings vanished into thin air.

The mortgage defaulted due to six months of missed payments.

To make matters worse, her husband opened new joint credit cards under her name and had accumulated $40,000 in debt.

This harrowing experience should be a stark reminder for couples to be involved in financial affairs.

It's particularly crucial for women, who historically have been left out of financial decision-making processes.

Sharee's ordeal was not a one-off; it reflected a broader issue that affected many Australian women.

A recent Finder survey among 1,096 respondents revealed that 21 per cent—equivalent to 4.2 million people—believe that lying about finances to a partner is a more severe betrayal compared to physical infidelity.

Furthermore, the research uncovered that 1.6 million Aussies have a secret bank account.

While the existence of hidden bank accounts could be a cause for concern, it could also be a lifeline for those in abusive situations.

Easy access to money should empower people to make choices, especially during life's most challenging moments.

In Sharee's case, her husband's gambling addiction and subsequent financial ruin led to the end of their marriage.

After separating, Sharee had to rebuild her life from scratch.

This cautionary tale underscored the need for financial literacy and open communication about money within relationships.

Whether you're single, married, or in a partnership, it's vital to understand finances.

Here are some tips to help you stay on top of your finances:

• Educate yourself: Take the time to learn about personal finance. There are books, seminars, and workshops related to the topic.
• Open communication: Have regular discussions with your partner about your financial goals, budget, and any concerns you may have.
• Joint review: Always review bank statements, bills, and investments together. This ensures transparency and shared responsibility.
• Emergency fund: Build an emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses. This could prevent the need to dip into savings or rack up credit card debt.
• Professional advice: Seek advice from a financial planner or adviser. They could provide personalised strategies to help you maximise your wealth and secure your financial future.

Financial freedom is not just about wealth; it's about having control over your financial destiny.

By staying informed and involved, you can protect yourself from potential financial disasters and pave the way for a secure and prosperous future.

Key Takeaways

• A woman named Sharee* discovered that her husband drained all their savings and racked up significant debt, jeopardising her potential purchase.
• Sharee found out her husband secretly delayed the sale of a business she was about to buy without her knowledge.
• A Finder survey revealed that 21 per cent of Australians believe lying about finances to a partner is worse than physical cheating. About 1.6 million Aussies have a hidden bank account.
• The incident indicated the importance of being financially aware and involved, especially for women in potentially abusive situations.

Have you ever faced a financial betrayal, and how did you handle it? What strategies do you use to manage your household finances? Share your stories and tips with us in the comments section below.

 

[Bethwilson]

My bank won’t renew my credit card without my husbands permission because he has Mr in front of his name, even though I opened the joint account. How can they allow anyone to open an account for someone else without their permission? Banks need to do better.

 

[richmich.4422@gmail]

Marriage in itself is one almighty huge gamble in any ones lives.
There are many big winners & many big losers in this "Game Of Chance".
How many can relate to this predicament ?

NOVEZAR.

 

[Shane O'Neill]

YEs the ex wife did all the digital banking and bill payments, didn't question her at all exept everytime ,I came home from working offshore bank account was almost empty asked where it went bills ,bills etc was the answer and me being stupid said nothing well the bitch was bleeding money out of the joint account for year's to her bank account 50,000 was add to the home loan and she forged my signature, question her about it we had bills I did nothing as the kids were small and if I put her in to the police I would have lost the house and had the kid's to bring up,now the bitch had left me I've payed all my bill's brought a ute( 5,000)lent money to my son ans daughter, and have almost $20,000 in the bank the sad part is she got half my super $250,000 and fucked off to Queensland to be with her family angry yes

 

[Toni Wrinkles]

I feel for Sharee, I married a gambler who hid the fact from me until after our marriage, thought I had a passionate partner who just liked to listen still to the horses (dumbo me) we split up after years of turmoil and pain, my kids and I worked at life and built a broke but close family life, I share his house on sth coast of NSW and he is worse than ever I am sad to say, we live separate lives but I learnt my lesson from before when he hocked my things so this time I have a little safe and he gives me ex amount and I put in the same to buy food and pay bills bit tight and sometimes I put in more but what can you do, he wants to sell this house and get a smaller one so he has money to gamble with and I can't do a thing about it ....I just take one day at a time as I can't do anything else, so Sharee chin up sweetheart and take one day at a time, if it seems overwhelming break it down to one hour at a time or one minute at a time even one second at a time, you will get there in the end sweetie just never give up on yourself.

 

[Daibhin]

It's not just gambling addiction, alcohol addiction can clean out bank accounts too, especially when out with ^friends^ he becomes the person who buys most of the drinks to appear the big man, more so when women are involved and money that should be spent on the children disappears.
When I'd had enough I left him and opened a separate account to have my pay put into, that meant I would know how much money I had to spend. I didn't touch the joint account, though I probably could have, but was not giving him any reason to get at mine - one that he had no details about so could not touch.
He was still writing cheques that bounced from our old account and the bank asked to take the money from my account, which would have left me exactly in the same position as I was in before only it would gave him my money as well as his. Of course I told them no. I could tell you more by why waste more of your time on a person I'm sure some of you know about only too well.

 

[Nanna T]

This is very close to home for me .
I met " the love of my life " at my 18th.
Married him when I was 21 .
He financially controlled and carried out what is now called cohesive control our entire married life , 40 years . I would not be surprised if he forged my signature on financial papers . He involved our own daughter , who turned against me , in our finances so much the Family Law Court demanded her initials be on our Divorce Court Hearing papers ( told to me by HIS own Lawyer ) .
I left the marriage with well under what I was untitled to.
Unbeknownst to me a business we had once , he'd " handed over " to our longest employed plumber .
I did not get a cent of that multi million dollar turn over company because amongst other things , he didn't declare it on court papers .
I did ask my Lawyer at the time what about the other bank accounts I knew he had . I was advised the only way to prove he was hiding finances was a Financial Audit .....which had starting costs of $50,000 .
This needs to change in the Family Law Courts .
He is still living in what was our $1,500,000 house . And earning a nice weekly sum from the business in someone else's name including my own daughters .
To finish , I'll say this ...
I'm not stupid
He is extremely shady and intelligent.
Beware

 

[mOiOz]

How about, after 7 years of marriage, you find out he is literally stealing from you, lying about it, then stashing it away!
And, because you had enough after a further 6 years and demanded a divorce, he takes the house with another property he inherited, and you and your children are left with $5 (five dollars)...!
The cherry on top... false accusations of ME being unfaithful - which never, ever happened in my entire life!!!!

 

[Clancieblue]

My bank won’t renew my credit card without my husbands permission because he has Mr in front of his name, even though I opened the joint account. How can they allow anyone to open an account for someone else without their permission? Banks need to do better.

Yes, the bank should take responsibility if she didn't sign anything to give permission.

 

[Nanna T]

How about, after 7 years of marriage, you find out he is literally stealing from you, lying about it, then stashing it away!
And, because you had enough after a further 6 years and demanded a divorce, he takes the house with another property he inherited, and you and your children are left with $5 (five dollars)...!
The cherry on top... false accusations of ME being unfaithful - which never, ever happened in my entire life!!!!

 

[Nanna T]

I honestly feel for you and your children . My ex was horrible to our son , putting all significant financial papers in our daughters name.
Executor of his Will etc etc etc .
Why ...he threatened that if our son did not go to Uni after School he'd leave him out of the Will .
He kept that threat .
Our daughter did a DBL degree at UQ and has never used it .
Our son did a trade , works his butt off and is wealthier than his Father now .
Go figure

 

[Towing]

So much for security. I thought applications for loans etc in joint names had to be signed by both people.
Joint bank accounts you used to be able to either call or go to a branch and get the account "frozen".

 

[Nanna T]

YEs the ex wife did all the digital banking and bill payments, didn't question her at all exept everytime ,I came home from working offshore bank account was almost empty asked where it went bills ,bills etc was the answer and me being stupid said nothing well the bitch was bleeding money out of the joint account for year's to her bank account 50,000 was add to the home loan and she forged my signature, question her about it we had bills I did nothing as the kids were small and if I put her in to the police I would have lost the house and had the kid's to bring up,now the bitch had left me I've payed all my bill's brought a ute( 5,000)lent money to my son ans daughter, and have almost $20,000 in the bank the sad part is she got half my super $250,000 and fucked off to Queensland to be with her family angry yes

Sadly my son is going through a shite show with his ex . She abducted their children from school and took out a false DVO .
15 months & $ 80,000 later ..
He was offered 100% custody of the young children by the Court Appointed Children's Lawyer and funny enough the day before the alleged DVO hearing , she dropped it .

The trouble with false DVO's is it makes it harder for the legitimate women at risk of actual DV .

I know why she dropped it , because had it gone through court , to Trial , which is what my son wanted and the Court originally planned for a 2 day Trial ....should it have gone to actual Trial and not just a hearing , she'd be in a World of pain ....possible Contempt of Court as there were Federal Family Court Orders already in place .
Now she's ripping him off through Parenting Payments ....but that's another story .
I genuinely feel for you .
Men are not represented fairly .
We do not even have a Federal MP for Males in our Parliament .
Disgusting , sexist , biased , criminal to say the least .
Anthony Albanese should hang his head in shame .

 

[Nanna T]

So much for security. I thought applications for loans etc in joint names had to be signed by both people.
Joint bank accounts you used to be able to either call or go to a branch and get the account "frozen".

Perhaps but forgery is another side to this sad state of affairs .

 

[Kayer02]

My son did that to my former daughter- in-law. He was an alcoholic and druggo. Never paid the bills which had told his wife he did. After he left her for another woman she found that they were so much in debt. Threatened eviction from the house due to unpaid rent, Their youngest wasn't allowed at daycare anymore due to him not paying fees. Scammed us to the value of $4,000... The list goes on and on.. He took offence when we supported our now former DIL.. Luckily he has now ,after years, sorted himself out.
My former son-in-law also did the same thing to my daughter. Left her for another woman whom he impregnated.. Left her almost penniless with 3 children with disabilities, she lost everything except her diginity.. He never ever has anything to do with his kids..

 

[Veggiepatch]

Been there....done that!

Cost me $85000 of my superannuation which was supposed be a deposit on a house and ended up being frittered away on absolutely nothing of note.

It ended up that this whore had numerous default notices from the likes of Telstra, Optus, Vodaphone, AGL, Origin Energy and QBE Insurance to name a few for unpaid accounts.

Now this bitch is on a full disability support pension while working full time at a medical practice. Of course the head doctor falsified medical reports so she could reap the benefits of both the pension and full time employment.

The sting in the tail was that I had to pay over $13000 in tax to the Child Support Agency to my ex wife as the $85000 was deemed as income when it was withdrawn since my youngest child was 17 years and 10 months at the time.

A lovely way to say goodbye to almost $100000!

 

[NotNats]

I been one of the lucky ones. Had joint accounts with my husband and everything was under his name, I wanted it this way as we both had bad first marriages. He put the money in for the first 20+ years together then when I went back to work full time, I put all my money in the same accounts. But I was in charge of making sure everything was paid for each week. Over the years we had paid off all and any debts we had. Then in the last 2 months of his life he made sure everything was either set up or in the prosses of being transferred into my name.

So, as I say I must have been one of the lucky ones.
It's also one of the reasons why I will never marry again, as I know how lucky I was.

 

[Aussiecris]

My bank won’t renew my credit card without my husbands permission because he has Mr in front of his name, even though I opened the joint account. How can they allow anyone to open an account for someone else without their permission? Banks need to do better.

A credit card has a primary card holder who owns the account, the additional card holder is just that. Its not because of the Mr its whoever the main cardholder is. Back in my day I was the secondary because I was at home with the kids and he had the income that was used to assess for the card. Even though I managed all the accounts and finances

 

[PattiB]

I feel for everyone who has had a bad relationship & can’t imagine what it must be like to be betrayed by someone you thought you could trust. I know that I am so lucky to have met my soul mate when I was only 18 & we’re still going strong all these years later. I also appreciate my amazing son who is also a great support us.
Stay strong everyone.
Patricia

 

[Jest]

and she had no idea. a very compatible marriage.