[Danielle G.]

Would it be unreasonable to put a lock on my bedroom door?​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/annoyed_parker:

Would it be unreasonable if I put a lock on my bedroom door so my girlfriend's mother can't sleep in our bed?

'My girlfriend (F27) and I (M30) are going on holiday in a few months and her mother (F60s) and stepfather (M70s) have agreed to come and babysit our 2 cats. Her mother has said that they will need to use both the spare room bed and our own bed when they stay as they can’t share a queen sized spare bed for 1 week as they’ll “not be able to sleep in the same bed together all week” blaming the bed size.'

'My GF has unhappily agreed to keep the peace but it’s making me very uncomfortable they’ll be using our bed. Would it be unreasonable if I put a lock on our bedroom door just before we go away so they can’t use it?'

'My girlfriend’s mother lives about 3 hours away visits every few months, but the step dad has never been before. Before we had the spare bed, she would happily sleep on the quite comfortable sofa and we mainly got the spare bed for her visits.'

'Although I know they are doing us a big favour by looking after the cats, they were intending to use it as a mini holiday. The mother does not always sleep in the same bed as her stepfather as they both wake each other up snoring and he is now getting some medical issues meaning he has frequent toilet trips in the middle of the night.'

 

[gayle222]

I don’t understand your problem. No don’t put a lock on the door,let them sleep wherever they want. They are doing you a favour,regardless if they are looking at it as a mini holiday. Clean sheets on the beds ready for their stay and I’m sure they will put clean sheets on the beds for when you return.

 

[Catherines]

No, I wouldn’t let them use my marital bed and bedroom. That is our private place and in this person’s case they should be considerate of that. If she’s slept on your sofa before she can do it again and he can use the spare bedroom if his snoring disturbs her. Or putting earplugs in her ears is the next option, then they can sleep in the same bed in the spare room!

Perhaps make it very clear that they are NOT to use your room as that is your private space but putting a lock on your door might stir things up with them; your cats will then forever keep you from going away. There are ‘pet motels’ where they can go during your absence.

 

[HelenB55]

It is your house, & even though they are staying at your house to look after your cats, they should still be considerate & respect the fact that it is not their house. There is a spare room & a sofa they can sleep on. But I wouldn’t go to the extent of putting a lock on your door. Your partner should also understand your feelings.
Would her Mother & her step-father let you sleep in their beds, if you stayed at their house while they went away?

 

[novezar]

Without reading through this wigmarole posting, can I sense a "Threesome". Maybe 'Mummy" mightn't wanted to be left out of the action.

 

[Josephine B]

No, I wouldn’t let them use my marital bed and bedroom. That is our private place and in this person’s case they should be considerate of that. If she’s slept on your sofa before she can do it again and he can use the spare bedroom if his snoring disturbs her. Or putting earplugs in her ears is the next option, then they can sleep in the same bed in the spare room!

Perhaps make it very clear that they are NOT to use your room as that is your private space but putting a lock on your door might stir things up with them; your cats will then forever keep you from going away. There are ‘pet motels’ where they can go during your absence.

We had a similar problem a few years ago when we went away for a month and asked one of our sons and his wife if could stay at our home for security reasons. They agreed that they would and I told them that they could use the spare bedroom which has a queen size bed and storage for their belongings and that our main bedroom is ours only and not to be used.
To my surprise when we arrived home one day earlier that originally planned I walked into a "FILTHILY" left kitchen with food still spatted all over my stovetop and bench tops with an amount of dirty dishes left in the sink even though we do have a dishwasher. I then proceeded upstairs to our bedroom only to find her makeup and used tissues strewn all over the handbasin in our ensuite, also rubbish left over the floor in the bedroom and the bed only pulled up, but not made. I was livered. She returned home from worked about an hour after we arrived home and she found me cleaning up their dirty mess in my kitchen proceeding to say "I was going clean that up before getting our dinner". I saw RED asked her not to bother, but she can go and clean up the untidy state they'd left in our spare bedroom, main bathroom and OUR BEDROOM that they weren't to use. Then to start packing up their belongings and move out.
I know they were doing us a favour, but really, I feel I was in my right because they only abused OUR HOME.
Thankfully our son eventually saw through her and their marriage only lasted another 1 year, also thankfully there were no children in their marriage to have to keep ties with her and he's now remarried to a lovely young lady and they've now blessed us with a granddaughter. All around we're much happier.

 

[Morgans Orchard]

Problem solved easily . Book the cats in to an holiday shelter. . They are not that expensive. Parents can stay home then . No arguments, No bad feelings.

 

[marni]

Without reading through this wigmarole posting, can I sense a "Threesome". Maybe 'Mummy" mightn't wanted to be left out of the action.

Without reading through this wigmarole posting, can I sense a "Threesome". Maybe 'Mummy" mightn't wanted to be left out of the action.

Get your mind out of the gutter. Not funny

 

[deni67]

Without reading through this wigmarole posting, can I sense a "Threesome". Maybe 'Mummy" mightn't wanted to be left out of the action.

What a sick thing to say!