[Skipton]

Woof! Woof!​

I have a black beagle/lab named Dunkle, and I was buying a
large bag of Purina Dog Kibble at the supermarket and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the
hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets
and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the
food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the checkout
line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the dog kibble.
I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my testicles and a car hit me.