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Jun 15, 2022
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Why is my loved one with dementia sometimes ‘there’ and sometimes not?

Dementia is an umbrella term to describe a progressive neurological condition that affects people’s cognitive abilities, such as memory, language and reasoning.

Alzheimer’s is the most common form, but other common forms include vascular dementia, Lewy Body dementia and frontotemporal dementia.

It’s not uncommon for people living with dementia to experience fluctuations in their cognitive abilities and levels of awareness.

People living with dementia can sometimes be fully “present”, knowing who is around them, where they are, and what’s happening. And then other times they may be confused, disorientated, unaware of their surroundings and unfamiliar with loved ones.


These fluctuations can be distressing for caregivers, who never know what to expect from one day to the next.



What causes these fluctuations in awareness?​

Several factors can contribute to cognitive fluctuations in people living with dementia. Environmental factors, such as changes in routine or new surroundings, can cause confusion and disorientation.

Fatigue can also play an important role. Tiredness, even in young adults, has known negative effects on a person’s attention and learning ability. This can be much more pronounced in older adults and people living with dementia.

Certain medications used to treat dementia and other related health conditions can also have an impact on a person’s cognitive function.

For example, some medications used to treat depression or anxiety can cause confusion or disorientation, especially in older adults.

Finally, time of day can play an important role in cognitive fluctuations.

People living with dementia often experience “sundowning”, where they can become more agitated or confused in the late afternoon or evening. Sundowning can also lead to pacing or wandering in people living with dementia.

Some scientists think this might be due to changes in the area of the brain that controls the “inner clock”, which signals when we’re awake or asleep. This breakdown can lead to confusion.

Patients with dementia will also often experience a period of lucidity in the week leading up to death. Science still isn’t quite sure why this happens, and studies are ongoing.



Do we know what’s happening in the brain?​

The neurobiology that underpins these cognitive fluctuations remains unclear. However, dementia is caused by damage to brain cells and the connections between them.

In Alzheimer’s disease, this gradual deterioration of brain cells begins first in the memory centres of the brain, and gradually spreads to regions that govern attention and awareness.

Changes in the brain’s “default mode network” may also result in these fluctuations. The default mode network is a network of brain regions that remains active when a person is not engaged or focused on any task. It’s thought to help with remembering, developing our concept of the self, and thinking about the future.

This network is active during our “resting state”. In people living with dementia, the default mode network is disrupted and this can lead to changes in cognition and self-awareness.



Is there anything that can help?​

Despite the challenges associated with cognitive fluctuations in people living with dementia, scientists have found behavioural interventions can provide some relief.

For example, a review of music therapy studies demonstrated music can improve mood and memory outcomes in people living with dementia.

Listening to familiar music can also help to maintain a sense of self and stimulate autobiographical memories in people living with dementia.

Some scientists think this may be because music can help regulate the default mode network, which is crucial for the processing of information about ourselves.


Screen Shot 2023-03-23 at 15.59.12.png
Music has been found to improve mood and memory in dementia patients. pexels/cottonbro studio,
CC BY

What to do if your loved one isn’t “there”​

When visiting your loved one with dementia, it’s important to use short sentences, make eye contact, minimise distractions (such as TV or radio playing loudly in the background), and not interrupt them.

If your loved one with dementia is agitated, it’s important to listen calmly to their concerns and frustrations. Challenging them can often lead to them becoming more agitated.

Changes in behaviour or emotional state of a person living with dementia can be very stressful for the person, and their loved ones and caregivers. These changes in behaviour may be a result of changes in the brain. But often they can also be a result of frustration in the person’s reduced ability to communicate as effectively as they once did.



There are a range of tips to reduce cognitive fluctuations in people living with dementia. These include limiting caffeine intake, exposing them to natural light during the day and warmer lighting in the evening, and getting sufficient physical activity.

However, cognitive fluctuations in people living with dementia are a complex and challenging aspect of the disease. And while some behavioural interventions, such as music therapy, can provide temporary improvements in mood and memory, dementia is a terminal illness.

There are now several drugs that hold promise for slowing memory decline in people with Alzheimer’s. However, the effects are small, and much more research is needed to better understand and treat this devastating disease.



This article was first published on The Conversation, and was written by Yen Ying Lim, Associate Professor, Monash University
 
Watching my partner suffer this horrible disease, and being disappointed with the support that was offered, other than by a couple of friends, before she was accepted at an aged care home, I recently saw this text and wish that I had seen it a few years earlier...

● If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality. If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.
● If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.
● If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.
● If I get dementia, and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.
● If I get dementia and am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.
● If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.
● If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.
● If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.
● If I get dementia and become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.
● If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.
● If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even know if I don’t eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.
● If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.
● If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live.
● If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.
● If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.
● If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.
● If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.
● If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.
● If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.
● If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.”
 
Watching my partner suffer this horrible disease, and being disappointed with the support that was offered, other than by a couple of friends, before she was accepted at an aged care home, I recently saw this text and wish that I had seen it a few years earlier...

● If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality. If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.
● If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.
● If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.
● If I get dementia, and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.
● If I get dementia and am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.
● If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.
● If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.
● If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.
● If I get dementia and become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.
● If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.
● If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even know if I don’t eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.
● If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.
● If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live.
● If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.
● If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.
● If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.
● If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.
● If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.
● If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.
● If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.”
Oh my god that brought tears to my eyes and memories of my Grandmother
 
Watching my partner suffer this horrible disease, and being disappointed with the support that was offered, other than by a couple of friends, before she was accepted at an aged care home, I recently saw this text and wish that I had seen it a few years earlier...

● If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality. If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.
● If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.
● If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.
● If I get dementia, and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.
● If I get dementia and am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.
● If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.
● If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.
● If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.
● If I get dementia and become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.
● If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.
● If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even know if I don’t eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.
● If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.
● If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live.
● If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.
● If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.
● If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.
● If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.
● If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.
● If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.
● If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.”
So true all of it. When I worked in aged care one of the saddest things I noticed was how many family members of residents with dementia stopped visiting, mostly they just could not be bothered anymore and used the excuse, they don’t know my name anymore, they won’t remember I’ve been here, I don’t like seeing them like this. Well how hard is it to visit, tell them who you are, give them a hug, hold their hand, chat with them, reminisce with them. The amount of comfort and happiness provided just by doing this simple act was huge. We used to have a book for every resident and asked visitors to write down details of their visits such as date, time, what they did with their loved ones, we put photos of visits in the books as well. These books were of great value to staff and residents who couldn’t remember a loved one visiting, or who were distressed or depressed. We would sit with residents and use these books to reminisce, discuss visits they received, show them photos of having fun with their loved ones. Help them find comfort in the fact people still cared. It was such a simple idea which took little effort but provided so much to the well being of our residents.
 
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I worked with people with dementia in a day care to give family and carers a days respite. This disease is harder on the family and carers than the person who has it. When I did my training we were told the brain is like an onion, it's lots of layers. The outer layer is recent memory and the inner is back to childhood. With the disease they start to loose the layers and slowly regress back to early memories, which is why they can't always remember who someone is if they haven't known them for as long as someone that they perhaps grew up with, or how to do something they learned more recently. Yes Sundowners syndrome makes them very restless and anxious.
Coincidentally my last dog and a dog my daughter has now both had dementia and had sundowners.
 
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