[wazzalox]

Valuable pictures​

A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector phoned his client.
He said, "Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news.”
The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day, let's hear the good news first.”
The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million. I think she could be right.”
Saul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman!
You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?”
The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you and your secretary.”

 

[Xe]

A Russian, a Frenchman, and an Englishman are in an art museum admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the gardens of Eden.​

The Englishman takes a look at the painting and says "They look so calm, they must be British!" The Frenchmen responds "no no! They're naked, so beautiful, they must be French!" The Russian says "They have no food, no shelter, nothing but an apple to eat, and they are being told this is paradise? They're clearly Russian!"