[Athena E.]

This woman is torn between a long-planned holiday vs her mother-in-law’s surgery. What would you do?​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/Putrid_Ad1080:

'My husband and I have a big trip planned for 5 weeks from now. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime type of holiday:15 days on the other side of the world, over 27 hours of flights each way. We’ve been planning and saving for it for over 6 months. Both of us work very stressful jobs and very rarely get the chance to take any time off like this. (Never did on the last 12 years)'

'My mother-in-law (70) has several health problems. She recently scheduled a complicated surgery for exactly the same time we’ll be away. (She knew we were away) We were not consulted about the timing. There’s almost no other family around, and the few relatives who live about 40 minutes away either don’t drive, have jobs, or simply can’t/won’t help her during recovery.'

'We don’t have the option to reschedule our trip without losing a significant amount of money, and honestly, we suspect she chose these dates partly for attention or to create conflict, there were other possible dates.'

'Now there’s pressure on us to cancel and be there for her, but we feel that after all the time, money, and energy we put into this trip, and how rarely we get breaks, it’s unfair to expect us to change our plans.'

'Am I unreasonable for deciding to still go on our trip?'

 

[Jo Piper3]

Sounds more like monster-in-law

 

[wabcowombat]

NO!!!

 

[sylfield]

Enjoy your holiday! The hospital/rehab will have duty of care and not release your MIL until she is capable of looking after herself.

 

[wildroseforever]

who are these people putting pressure on you? You said there are practically no relatives around . Look into respite care for MIL - respite will take her for up to 3 weeks usually, which would cover the time you will be away. Enjoy your holiday and tell MIL you will ring her frequently

 

[MariaG]

If you have to, hire someone to keep an eye on her and ferry her about for post surgery appointments.
If she is on Aged Care, they should be able to help.
Go on your trip....life is short.

 

[Luckyus]

Take the trip, but leave your phones behind, but cheap burner phone when you get to your destination. Doesn't sound to me that it's major surgery.

 

[Charlotte59]

OMG, monster in law for sure, especially when the surgery could have been done after your trip. She is manipulating/emotional blackmailing her son and yourself to ensure you don't get your holiday and she gets all the attention. Go on your holiday and enjoy it guilt free, let this conniving old bitch get by without you. She is only 70, and while i don't know how good she is healthwise, 70 is not old by today's standards and she certainly wouldn't be helpless. I put up with a manipulative mother for most of my 68 years, i stopped pandering to her over 10 years ago and no longer feel guilty.

 

[NODDY BC]

LIVE life to the fullest-You only live ONCE