[Danielle F.]

This was her reward after years of hard work... now, it's becoming a responsibility that's driving her crazy.​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/nova_lneyy:

'I (24F) just got my first car a few months ago. I saved for it for almost 3 years while working full time and taking night classes. It's nothing fancy, an old used Toyota, but it's mine, I bought if myself, and I'm really proud of that.

The issue is that since I got the car, my family ( mostly my mum and older sister) has started expecting me to drive everyone everywhere. groceries, pharmacy runs, appointments, airport pickups, random errands. Sometimes they as, but more often they just assume I'll do it. I get texts like "You can take me at 3, right?" without even checking if I'm available.

My sister (29F) doesn't work and doesn't drive. She's never really tried, she says driving makes her anxious. Our mum doesn't drive either (medical reasons). For the past 10 years, they've relied on public transport, cabs, or friends. But now that I have a car, they act like I'm their personal chauffeur.

I've tried setting boundaries. I've told them I'm happy to help when I can, but i can't always be available, especially since I still work full time and I'm trying to finish my degree. But when I say no, they get super upset. My sister sulks and complains I'm selfish, and my mum says things like, "We've always helped you when you needed it."

Last week, I refused to drive my sister across town for a job interview because I had an exam that evening, She ended up missing it and now blames me for "ruining her chance". Our aunt even called to tell me I should "sacrifice a little" because "family helps family".

I feel awful, but also kind of resentful. I bought this car so I could be more independent, not so I could become the default ride for two grown adults who've chosen not to drive. But maybe I'm being too rigid.

Am I being unreasonable for refusing to be the family driver, even through I'm the only one with a car?'

 

[Rita]

NO! You are not being unreasonable, your family is. Stay firm and stick to your guns, they should realise that you are not their slave! Start charging them for petrol... see if that stops them!

 

[Morgans Orchard]

Definetly NOT unreasonable . As you have worked and saved for your car will they throw in for repairs if it breaks down ?. Stand firm and ask for money for petrol when it’s just shopping and errands they want to use you for . Fair enough if it’s emergency to hospital or doctors . I admire you for working hard T and saving to buy what you want, congratulations

 

[etphhome]

Definitely ask for petrol money and repairs if applicable. You must be doing a lot more mileage because of them. Very rude of them to expect you to drive them everywhere.

 

[Towing]

You definitely should ask for petrol money. Your Mum has a valid reason for not being allowed to drive.
Extra km means more frequent servicing and wear & tear on tyres which are not a cheap exercise. Your sister will have to use public transport to go to work. Why couldn't she leave early and catch public transport to go to the interview. I guess she gets Centrelink benefits. Last minute emergency medical appointments I can understand.

 

[natalielocket]

Sounds like the Family are free loaders. Stay firm and refuse to be a free taxi service.

 

[Luckyus]

I'd be telling them to get used to the
"waewae express".

 

[Veggiepatch]

Tell them to top up their Myki, Opal or Smartrider cards....