[Skipton]

This Is Heaven.​

Sam and Edith Goldberg were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years.
Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.
Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's
insistence on healthy foods, daily bran muffins and regular exercise for the last decade.
One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation
and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.
They reached the pearly gates, and there an escort was waiting to show them inside.
He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen
and a waterfall in the master bath and their favourite clothes hanging in the closet.
They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven - this will be your home now."
Sam asked how much all this was going to cost. "Why, nothing," their companion replied,
"remember, this is your reward in Heaven. “Sam looked out the window and right there he saw
a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.
"What are the green fees? “This is heaven," the companion replied. "You can play for free, every day."
Next, they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid
out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic desserts, free flowing beverages.
"Don't even ask," said their companion to Sam. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy."
Sam looked around and glanced nervously at Edith. "Well, where are the low-fat
and low-cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?" he asked.
"That's the best part," the companion replied, you can eat and drink as much as you like
of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!"
Sam continued to ask...... "No gym to work out at? ""Not unless you want to," was the answer.
"No testing my sugar or blood pressure or.....?""Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.
“Sam glared at Edith and said, "You and your bloody bran muffins.! We could have been here 15 years ago!"

 

[Sebastian Pereira]

This Is Heaven.​

Sam and Edith Goldberg were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years.
Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.
Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's
insistence on healthy foods, daily bran muffins and regular exercise for the last decade.
One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation
and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.
They reached the pearly gates, and there an escort was waiting to show them inside.
He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen
and a waterfall in the master bath and their favourite clothes hanging in the closet.
They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven - this will be your home now."
Sam asked how much all this was going to cost. "Why, nothing," their companion replied,
"remember, this is your reward in Heaven. “Sam looked out the window and right there he saw
a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.
"What are the green fees? “This is heaven," the companion replied. "You can play for free, every day."
Next, they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid
out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic desserts, free flowing beverages.
"Don't even ask," said their companion to Sam. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy."
Sam looked around and glanced nervously at Edith. "Well, where are the low-fat
and low-cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?" he asked.
"That's the best part," the companion replied, you can eat and drink as much as you like
of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!"
Sam continued to ask...... "No gym to work out at? ""Not unless you want to," was the answer.
"No testing my sugar or blood pressure or.....?""Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.
“Sam glared at Edith and said, "You and your bloody bran muffins.! We could have been here 15 years ago!"

Lol, if heaven is so great, we should all get there early before all the places are taken! Hahaha.

 

[SirExton]

I have just heard Disney Studios are going to make a movie about a transgender Whale? They are calling it May Be Dick!

 

[Mina vriesekolk]

If they only knew.

 

[Rob.]

This Is Heaven.​

Sam and Edith Goldberg were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years.
Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.
Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's
insistence on healthy foods, daily bran muffins and regular exercise for the last decade.
One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation
and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.
They reached the pearly gates, and there an escort was waiting to show them inside.
He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen
and a waterfall in the master bath and their favourite clothes hanging in the closet.
They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven - this will be your home now."
Sam asked how much all this was going to cost. "Why, nothing," their companion replied,
"remember, this is your reward in Heaven. “Sam looked out the window and right there he saw
a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.
"What are the green fees? “This is heaven," the companion replied. "You can play for free, every day."
Next, they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid
out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic desserts, free flowing beverages.
"Don't even ask," said their companion to Sam. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy."
Sam looked around and glanced nervously at Edith. "Well, where are the low-fat
and low-cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?" he asked.
"That's the best part," the companion replied, you can eat and drink as much as you like
of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!"
Sam continued to ask...... "No gym to work out at? ""Not unless you want to," was the answer.
"No testing my sugar or blood pressure or.....?""Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.
“Sam glared at Edith and said, "You and your bloody bran muffins.! We could have been here 15 years ago!"

I had a real Uncle Sam (without the stars and stripes clothes, although he and his wife lived in Brooklyn, NY, and coincidentally his wife was my aunt Edith. Can't find their photo at the moment. They drove a Lincoln car, but had no presidential equipment, nor a goatee beard . (Neither did Aunt Edith).