It's no secret that communication is key to a happy and lasting relationship.

But according to one therapist, there are 15 "small but very significant things" that every person should know about their romantic partner by the time they've been dating for six months.

We understand that some of our members have been in a relationship with their partners for over 40 years, so, it's nice to test the validity of this list from your personal point of view.

Jeff Guenther, a licensed professional counsellor from Portland, Oregon, shared some important questions that couples should answer early on in their relationships on TikTok.

Credit: TikTok/@therapyjeff​

These questions can help couples better understand each other and learn how to best support each other.

“Small but significant things” to know about a romantic partner

• How do they want to celebrate their birthday?
• How much alone time, if any, do they need?
• What's their favourite food?
• What turns them on and gets them in the mood?
• How long do they need to get ready and head out the door?
• What's their favourite TV show, movie, and band?
• What's their most controversial take?
• Who is their best friend, and why?
• What family member triggers them the most?
• What will instantly make them laugh?
• What's their biggest insecurity?
• What's the best way to support them when they're stressed or upset?
• What do they ultimately want from this relationship?
• What do they allow themselves to financially splurge on?
• What's their biggest guilty pleasure?

Source: Jeff Guenther

The marriage and family therapy expert said that in six months, you should be able to know how your significant other likes how to celebrate his or her birthday, how much alone time they need, and what their favourite food, TV show, movie, and band is.

Other "significant" facts that you should know include how to get your partner in the mood, how much time they spend getting ready to go somewhere, and what their most controversial take is.

A lot of the viewers applauded the list, with many saying that the questions are accurate. Credit: TikTok/@therapyjeff.​

Additionally, you should also know which family member "triggers" them the most, so you can prepare how to engage with them and avoid possible negative interactions.

Mr Guenther said: "No matter how stable and "together" we think we are, our families can instantly cause us to emotionally fall apart or regress into teenage angst."

"If you know how your partner reacts to their family, you won't be thrown off when they're upset by their parents or siblings. Instead, you'll know how to support them through a tough time."

"And more importantly, if you do something to remind them of their family dynamic that causes them to emotionally spiral, you'll be able to take a step back and do your best to not take it personally. Our old family patterns inevitably resurface in our romantic relationships. It's smart to be prepared to handle it."

Mr Guenther also said that in order to have a successful relationship, it is important to know your partner well. This includes knowing their best friend, what makes them laugh, and their biggest insecurity. Additionally, it is important to know how to support your partner when they are stressed or upset.

He explained: "Your partner is going to feel sad, stressed, overwhelmed, and depressed every now and then."

"Providing the support your partner needs, whether it's holding emotional space, problem-solving together, or distracting them with a refreshing activity, allows you to connect in a vulnerable way."

"This, in turn, will strengthen the relationship and create the safety and security it needs to last a long time."

Lastly, he said that you should know what your romantic partner is looking forward to in the relationship. For example, if your partner is looking for a relationship that could lead to marriage, you should be on the same page with him or her.

Do you think the "significant things" listed by Mr Guenther are accurate? If not, would you like to add other questions or tips for a lasting relationship? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!

 

[Ricci]

I could readily give answers to all 15 questions, but then after 42 years together I'd be alarmed if I couldn't!

 

[Joydie]

Therapist shares 15 “small significant things” that you should know about your romantic partner — do you think this list is accurate?​

It's no secret that communication is key to a happy and lasting relationship.

But according to one therapist, there are 15 "small but very significant things" that every person should know about their romantic partner by the time they've been dating for six months.

We understand that some of our members have been in a relationship with their partners for over 40 years, so, it's nice to test the validity of this list from your personal point of view.

Jeff Guenther, a licensed professional counsellor from Portland, Oregon, shared some important questions that couples should answer early on in their relationships on TikTok.

Credit: TikTok/@therapyjeff​

These questions can help couples better understand each other and learn how to best support each other.

“Small but significant things” to know about a romantic partner

• How do they want to celebrate their birthday?
• How much alone time, if any, do they need?
• What's their favourite food?
• What turns them on and gets them in the mood?
• How long do they need to get ready and head out the door?
• What's their favourite TV show, movie, and band?
• What's their most controversial take?
• Who is their best friend, and why?
• What family member triggers them the most?
• What will instantly make them laugh?
• What's their biggest insecurity?
• What's the best way to support them when they're stressed or upset?
• What do they ultimately want from this relationship?
• What do they allow themselves to financially splurge on?
• What's their biggest guilty pleasure?

Source: Jeff Guenther

The marriage and family therapy expert said that in six months, you should be able to know how your significant other likes how to celebrate his or her birthday, how much alone time they need, and what their favourite food, TV show, movie, and band is.

Other "significant" facts that you should know include how to get your partner in the mood, how much time they spend getting ready to go somewhere, and what their most controversial take is.

A lot of the viewers applauded the list, with many saying that the questions are accurate. Credit: TikTok/@therapyjeff.​

Additionally, you should also know which family member "triggers" them the most, so you can prepare how to engage with them and avoid possible negative interactions.

Mr Guenther said: "No matter how stable and "together" we think we are, our families can instantly cause us to emotionally fall apart or regress into teenage angst."

"If you know how your partner reacts to their family, you won't be thrown off when they're upset by their parents or siblings. Instead, you'll know how to support them through a tough time."

"And more importantly, if you do something to remind them of their family dynamic that causes them to emotionally spiral, you'll be able to take a step back and do your best to not take it personally. Our old family patterns inevitably resurface in our romantic relationships. It's smart to be prepared to handle it."

Mr Guenther also said that in order to have a successful relationship, it is important to know your partner well. This includes knowing their best friend, what makes them laugh, and their biggest insecurity. Additionally, it is important to know how to support your partner when they are stressed or upset.

He explained: "Your partner is going to feel sad, stressed, overwhelmed, and depressed every now and then."

"Providing the support your partner needs, whether it's holding emotional space, problem-solving together, or distracting them with a refreshing activity, allows you to connect in a vulnerable way."

"This, in turn, will strengthen the relationship and create the safety and security it needs to last a long time."

Lastly, he said that you should know what your romantic partner is looking forward to in the relationship. For example, if your partner is looking for a relationship that could lead to marriage, you should be on the same page with him or her.

Do you think the "significant things" listed by Mr Guenther are accurate? If not, would you like to add other questions or tips for a lasting relationship? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!

While I respect what Jeff has to say, I’ve always rated experience over book learning. One of my mantras is: If you need expert advice, don’t go to an expert. Go to someone who’s been there, done that and successfully come out the other side.

Next Wednesday, 25 May, hubby and I will celebrate 54 years of marriage. In keeping with the times, when we got married, our first experience of living together was on our wedding night. In common with most other couples in 1968, we had to start our journey of discovery of each other’s idiosyncrasies after we were married, not before. This required us to have a level of tolerance and patience. We had to behave like the adults we were. I know many contemporaries whose parents told them not to bother running home every time there was a problem. Therefore, we stayed and worked it out. To be fair, my parents were too far away to run to, and I believe that’s a good thing. I do realise that it’s not possible for all marriages to succeed, but I know more than one person who deeply regrets leaving a marriage instead of working things out.

So Jeff, you’ll pardon me if I say that we discovered those things about each other as we went along. It may be the modern way to work your way through a checklist, but I can guarantee that many people would leave a relationship which may be great in almost every way, because one of them didn’t get enough ticks on the list.