The Varnish Incident
My wife, Judy, had been asking me for weeks to varnish the wooden seat on our toilet.
After putting it off for far too long, I finally decided to get it done while she was out running errands.
Feeling accomplished, I finished the job and left the house to take care of something else,
figuring the varnish would have plenty of time to dry.
Little did I know, my timing was off.
Judy came home, got undressed, and prepared to take a shower.
But before stepping in, she sat on the newly varnished toilet seat.
When she tried to stand up, she quickly discovered that the varnish hadn’t completely dried—she was stuck.
I returned home shortly afterward and found her in quite the predicament.
We tried everything: pushing, pulling, twisting—but nothing worked.
In the end, I had no choice but to remove the entire toilet seat from the bowl.
Now, with Judy wrapped in a sheet for modesty, I drove her to the hospital emergency room,
toilet seat still firmly attached.
Once we got there, the ER doctor managed to get Judy into
a position where he could examine the situation.
Let’s just say it wasn’t the most dignified moment,
and you can imagine the awkwardness of the whole scene.
Trying to break the tension, Judy chuckled and said,
“Well, Doctor, I bet you’ve never seen anything like this before!”
The doctor, without missing a beat, grinned and replied,
“Actually, I’ve seen plenty of these situations—
I just never saw one mounted and framed!”