[Maddison Dwyer]

The SDC ANZAC Day Special Edition - Jokes from the Trenches of the ANZACs​

The General and The Captain

A general and a captain walking down the street passed a number of soldiers, and each time one of them saluted the officers, the captain saluted back and said, “The same to you.”

“Why do you always say that?” the general asked the captain.

“I used to be a private, too,” said the captain, “and I know just what they are thinking.”

The Victim

“Are you wounded, mate?”

Victim: “D’yer think I’m doing this fer fun?”

Camouflage Training

The Sergeant Major growled at the young soldier: "Why weren't you at camouflage training this morning?"

"I was there, sir," answered the soldier.

"I didn't see you," returned the Sergeant Major.

"Thank you very much, sir," replied the soldier.

 

[Not too old]

The Young Army recruits arrive at Camp for their first day in the Army. The RSM tells them all to line up and then proceeds to ask each their name.

Off they go, BROWN, SMITH, BLACK, JONES. The next recruit says John.

The RSM barks out, we only use surnames here son, what is yours he asks.

The reply comes back "DARLING".

The RSM replies thank you John .

 

[WADuck]

As a former RSM thank you for the laughs.

 

[ronwally]

I appreciated the Anzac Day jokes

 

[Joydie]

The General and The Captain

A general and a captain walking down the street passed a number of soldiers, and each time one of them saluted the officers, the captain saluted back and said, “The same to you.”

“Why do you always say that?” the general asked the captain.

“I used to be a private, too,” said the captain, “and I know just what they are thinking.”

The Victim

“Are you wounded, mate?”

Victim: “D’yer think I’m doing this fer fun?”

Camouflage Training

The Sergeant Major growled at the young soldier: "Why weren't you at camouflage training this morning?"

"I was there, sir," answered the soldier.

"I didn't see you," returned the Sergeant Major.

"Thank you very much, sir," replied the soldier.

A young private during WWII training for battle, arrived at the parade ground with dirty boots and was abused up hill and down dale by the company commander. When he’d finished his rant, he looked at the private and said: ‘I bet if I get killed in this war, you’ll find my grave and piss on it.’ The private replied: ‘No sir! I’ve promised myself that if I survive, I’ll never stand in line again!’

 

[margie]

 

[SirExton]

ANZAC Day Fremantle Harbour 2023 I am volunteer Duty Watch Officer on the Sail Training Ship Leeuwin II. In Remembrance of those who paid the ultimate sacrifice and their families! Lest We Forget! Amen! As a show of respect the ship is flying a 12ft x 6ft Australian Blue Ensign at the Top Mast. The Red Ensign is flying at Half Mast on the stern flag pole.

When I was in the British Army, I lost my 303 rifle. I said to my Sargent Major, "Sarge I have lost my rifle!" Sarge said "That will cost you 3,000-00 pounds son!" I then said "What if I lose an armed personnel carrier?" Sarge said "That will cost you 1.5 million pounds!" I then said "What if I lose a Chieftain Tank?" The sarge replied "That will cost you 4 million pounds son!" I then said "No bloody wonder Captains go down with their ships!!"

God Bless you all on this ANZAC Day 2023
Amen! & Amen!

​

 

[sonlocks]

We shall remember them

 

[Dennis]

I might have told you about this joke before but being Anzac Day I will repeat.
The Matron was making her rounds of the military hospital when she stopped at a bed where the occupant was loudly moaning and groaning, the matron asked the fellow in the next bed what was wrong with the other fellow, he answered he had been shot up the backside, Rectum my dear man said the matron, wrecked him Matron it nearly killed him.

 

[Vet543]

The Young Army recruits arrive at Camp for their first day in the Army. The RSM tells them all to line up and then proceeds to ask each their name.

Off they go, BROWN, SMITH, BLACK, JONES. The next recruit says John.

The RSM barks out, we only use surnames here son, what is yours he asks.

The reply comes back "DARLING".

The RSM replies thank you John .

I just love this joke... I have already told most of my friends .. everyone laughed too. Thanks for the Great Laugh

 

[mOiOz]

 

[bubble's]

I just love this joke... I have already told most of my friends .. everyone laughed too. Thanks for the Great Laugh

 

[bubble's]

I just love this joke... I have already told most of my friends .. everyone laughed too. Thanks for the Great Laugh

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