The New Groom
A Lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband,
"Please be gentle, I'm still pure." "What," said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative.
He kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure
how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it,
and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out
diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had
the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process,
but wanted three years to research, implement,
and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he
knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product,
he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he ever did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector. God! I miss him!
But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "But why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"