[Danielle G.]

The neighbour has bad hygiene, but is it unreasonable to raise it by sending a 'nice' note?​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/myparentsareselfish:

Would it be unreasonable if I gave a neighbour a note about her poor hygiene?

'My new downstairs neighbour has been here a couple of weeks, and it's unfortunately obvious that she has difficulty with personal hygiene.'

'She is a lovely person in general and a good neighbour otherwise. She is a student approximately 20, in the UK and may have Pakistani or Indian heritage or similar based on her appearance, which I only mention in case there are cultural considerations. We are in an affluent area and she doesn't show any signs of poverty (orders takeout for dinner regularly), but obviously I don't know anything about her actual finances.'

'I want to approach her gently and offer help, but my other neighbours in the apartment building are telling me to mind my own business.'

'I was thinking of putting an anonymous care package outside her front door, but that seems too much. So I'm thinking maybe just a note?'

'Like if I met her in public I would move on with my life but she is genuinely making the corridors and lifts smell of body odour. Is there a way to do this nicely?'

'I do understand personal hygiene issues from mental health difficulties or disability, it's something I continue to struggle with myself, but I use coping strategies.'

'Maybe letting it go and avoiding her is the best thing to do, but I don't think I can do that because at least I'm trying to be nice about it, and she needs to sort this out before going into a job surely?'

 

[Shellface]

Spray air freshener everywhere

 

[HelenB55]

Leave her be as it’s her problem…not yours.

Wear a mask if her odour is that bad.

People can be quite funny talking to the them about personal hygiene.

Maybe leave a beauty package for her, by the front door.

She might……MIGHT understand through that.

 

[Vet543]

Don't spray air fresh .as it may be an insulting action.
Call a welfare group who have experience to handle the situation with empathy and ability
.They know how to do this with integrity and kindness
Simply think what you would appreciate, if you were this lady.
Simply be nice until the welfare arrive

 

[Vet543]

I wss a bus driver and this happened me.
The lady had a terrible bladder issue and other passengers were horribly rude in my opinion. Her problem was the cause of electric shock treatment in German interment camps..
I felt so sorry. For her .. welfare handled the problem without a terrible drama

 

[Jo Piper3]

A very delicate situation, tread carefully and be kind.