Disclaimer: This article discusses distressing topics about death. Reader discretion is advised.

In the digital age, where content is king and virality is the currency of the realm, a new trend has emerged from the shadows of TikTok that has left many of our readers at the Seniors Discount Club with mixed feelings. The trend in question? Grave cleaning videos. Yes, you read that correctly. Individuals are taking to cemeteries, scrubbing the headstones of strangers, and broadcasting the process to millions of viewers. But as this trend gains traction, a pressing question arises: Are these videos a respectful homage to the deceased, or are they exploiting the dead for likes and follows?

The phenomenon has seen creators like Alicia Williams, known as @ladytaphos on TikTok, gain popularity for her dignified approach to grave cleaning. Williams, a Virginia resident, treats the graves with the utmost respect, often sharing the stories of those who lie beneath the stones she tends to. Her gentle and kind-hearted method of restoring the graves' beauty has resonated with viewers, who appreciate the reverence and historical context she brings to her work.

Alicia, also known as LadyTaphos online, always shows her grave cleaning process online. Image Credit: Tiktok/LadyTaphos

On the flip side, there's Kaeli Mae McEwen, or @the_clean_girl, whose approach has sparked controversy. McEwen's videos, which feature her throwing a pink spiky ball to choose a grave to clean or promoting her own pink foamy cleaner, have been criticized for their clickbait nature and lack of decorum. Her actions, which include replacing flowers and making jokes, have led many to question the appropriateness of her content and whether it borders on disrespect.

The relationship between death and cleaning is not new; it is a practice steeped in tradition and cultural significance. From washing the bodies of the deceased to the Swedish concept of 'döstädning' or death cleaning, these rituals have served as a means of coping with grief and preparing for the afterlife. The act of cleaning a grave can be seen as an extension of these practices, a way to honor and care for those who have passed.

However, the intent behind these actions is crucial. While Williams' content is perceived as a genuine effort to pay tribute to the deceased, McEwen's videos are often seen as self-serving, using the graves merely as a backdrop for her own promotion. This perceived difference in intent has led to a stark contrast in how viewers receive their content.

Graves, as emotionally complex objects, serve as both memorials to the dead and symbols of loss for the living. They are private markers of grief placed within the public sphere of a cemetery, and as such, they command a certain level of respect and sensitivity. Content creators who engage with these sites must navigate this delicate balance, understanding that graves are not just stones but representations of individuals and their loved ones' memories.

Some creators, like Rosie Grant, have found ways to interact with gravestones that honor their complexity, such as baking recipes found on headstones and connecting with the families of the deceased. This approach shows a level of engagement and respect that acknowledges the personal stories behind the engravings.

Watch one of Rosie Grant's videos here:

Source: @ghostlyarchive/TikTok​

The controversy surrounding McEwen's videos, including allegations of editing graves to appear cleaner and altering the color of her cleaning product, raises questions about the authenticity and ethics of her content. It's a stark reminder that in the quest for online attention, the line between honoring and exploiting can become blurred.

For our readers, many of whom have experienced loss and understand the sanctity of a final resting place, this trend may be unsettling. It's a reminder that as we navigate the ever-changing landscape of social media, we must consider the impact of our actions on others, both living and deceased. The debate over these grave cleaning videos is not just about content creation; it's about the values we hold as a society and the respect we owe to those who came before us.

Key Takeaways

• Cleaning graves of strangers has become a viral trend on TikTok, with creators like Alicia Williams treating graves with dignity while others like Kaeli Mae McEwen use more sensational tactics.
• Death and cleaning have long cultural and religious associations, presenting cleaning as a means of purifying and preparing for the afterlife or as a respectful way to care for the deceased.
• The grave cleaning content is received quite differently by viewers; respectful and informative approaches tend to be well-received, while disrespectful and sensational content draws criticism for potential harm and lack of decorum.
• Graves are emotionally complex and culturally significant, requiring content creators to act responsibly to avoid desecration of the deceased, with some questioning the ethics and honesty of creators like McEwen.

We invite you to share your thoughts on this topic. Do you believe these grave cleaning videos are a fitting tribute to the deceased, or do they cross a line into disrespect? Have you encountered similar content online, and how did it make you feel? Join the conversation in the comments below and let us know where you stand on this morbid TikTok trend.

 

[Nevertiki]

Without permission by the person IN the grave or living relatives, these self-serving social media junkies are committing a crime. It is called DESECRATION. They should be arrested. Or, as they are obviously in the USA, shot.

 

[mOiOz]

Sounds like they're prepping for Halloween!

 

[MariaG]

I think it's a good idea.
When was the last time you visited an older part of the cemetery?
Our local at Hexham has one part that is crumbling, another that is mediocre with some tended - many not, a lawn cemetery that is always neat because they mow it every week, another that belongs to the ashes of those cremated that is always clean and polished, one that is the latest section with a good number of graves tended and neat, the best of all is the Returned servicemen section that is tended by the cemetery and is always pristine.
I used to walk amongst the graves when visiting my family members. I decided to do a small wander just to offer my presence to the souls who may have nobody visiting them. Eventually, I had to stop because some of the older graves, particularly the those for the young, got me too upset.
I believe this lady had no malicious intent. I know there has been the odd time over the last 20 years when concerned folk arranged graveyard neaten days when volunteers came along to weed, clean and tidy. It was a thankless task, particularly when there were so many who have been gone for a very long time.

 

[Jennylolo]

The cemeteries do not allow cleaning of any sort, and you have be a member of the family. They also stipulate what you can use. Most of ours are are water only. For one, My brother had to gain permission to repaint the letters that had faded beyond legibility of our grandmother. To do someone elses' I believe is not allowed without permission.

 

[MariaG]

The cemeteries do not allow cleaning of any sort, and you have be a member of the family. They also stipulate what you can use. Most of ours are are water only. For one, My brother had to gain permission to repaint the letters that had faded beyond legibility of our grandmother. To do someone elses' I believe is not allowed without permission.

If there are living relatives, I totally agree they should be asked.
I feel that the cemeteries are not doing their job and allow ruination to continue, then worsen year after year. This happens because there is nobody left who can/or will assume the responsibility of upkeep for relatives that go many generations back. Cemeteries might assert their authority and deny permission for certain things, but to what end?
When we assumed ownership of my mother's pre-paid grave site, we were told by the cemetery that it is our property, then received paperwork to validate it. That was after we paid almost $1,000 for the change in name. We were held responsible for any up-keep, and, that included weeding in areas around the grave that cannot be reached with the random mowing they carry out. We did not need to ask permission for the headstone to be taken away by the experts for inclusion of mum's details. We just did it.
Eventually, I assume, the oldest sites will be resumed and re-cycled. Not much emotion attached there.
That's why I am going to have ashes scattered where it really matters to my family and me.

 

[marni]

If it offends then don’t watch the videos

 

[BellaB18]

Why do they have to put this out there. One reason. Look at me.
If they wanted to clean the graves and put fresh flowers and say a prayer for the deceased soul all good but don't put it out there for the world to see. It really does not seem a genuine kind act. Just advertising.
Very sad some people would stoop so low for attention.
Kind regards to all Vicki

 

[Towing]

This is advertising. You don't clean a headstone by pressuring spraying it. Depending on the type of stone she may in fact have damaged it. My brother and I were told how to clean our grandparents' headstone by a stonemason. We were told to use a particular spray & water. The stains were a type of mould + grime in the air from motor vehicles.