[Luckyus]

The Leper and The Fan​

A leper goes to watch a baseball game but when he gets there, he has trouble finding a seat. Because pieces of him are peeling and flaking off, he’s very concerned about grossing out the other fans.


The leper wanders through the bleachers looking for a seat where his grotesque appearance won’t disturb anyone. Finally, he finds an open seat where he might be able to watch the game. He asks the man in the adjoining seat if it would be okay to sit there.

The man answers, “Yeah. Just sit down, shut up, and watch the game.”

The leper sits down and adds, “As you can see, I have leprosy. If it disturbs you, I’ll move.”

“It doesn’t bother me. Just shut up, and watch the game.”

A while later, during the fourth inning, the man suddenly vomits. Frothy beer, hot dogs, and peanuts are splattered everywhere.

Seeing this, the leper gets up and says, “Thank you for allowing me to sit next to you, but I can see that my appearance has caused you to get sick. I’ll find another place to sit.”

“It’s NOT you. Just sit down, shut up, and watch the game.”


So the leper sits back down. But during the sixth inning, the man begins to vomit again. This time it is projectile vomitus. A powerful blast of beer and pretzels shoots out from the man’s mouth and nose until his stomach is completely emptied.

Seeing this, the leper gets up and says, “Thank you for allowing me to sit next to you, but it’s obvious that my appearance has caused you to get sick. I’ll find another place to sit.”

“Really, it’s NOT you…. Just sit down, shut up, and watch the game.”

So the leper sits back down. But during the seventh inning, the man begins to vomit again. This time it is the dry heaves. The leper feels absolutely awful at the sight of this man suffering. And once again, the leper offers to leave.


But the man insists, “Really, it’s NOT you.”

So the leper asks, “Well if it’s not me that is making you so sick, than what is it?”

“It’s that guy behind you…. He keeps dipping his nachos in your back!”