[Skipton]

The Italian Funeral​

A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso
when he noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash.
Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking in single file.
The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the Italian man walking the dog and said:
"I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen an Italian funeral like this.
Whose funeral is it?"
"My wife's."
"What happened to her?"
"She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"
The Italian man answered, "My mother-in-law.
She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."
A very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and
Italian brotherhood and silence passed between the two men.
The Jewish man then asked "Can I borrow the dog?"
The Italian man replied, "Get in line."

 

[Xe]

3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break.

The first guy says “If I get a vegemite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.”

The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”.

The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.”

The next day the first guy gets a vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die.

The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.”

The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.”

The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”