[Luckyus]

The Golfer and the Leprechaun​

A man is out playing golf on a Saturday afternoon in Ireland. He steps up to the 16th tee, and shanks his shot deep into the rough on the side of the fairway.

He goes chasing after his ball, and when he finds it, he sees a leprechaun, lying on the ground next to his ball, unconscious, with a knot on his head. The golfer revives the leprechaun who says, "Aye, laddie, ye did it. Ye caught me, so ye get yer three wishes." The golfer, more concerned for the leprechaun, says, "My God, man. I hit ye with my golf ball and you want to grant me three wishes? I don't need me three wishes. I just want to know you're okay, to be sure."

The leprechaun, in a fit of agitation, says to the golfer, "Listen. I'll be okay. If you don't want your three wishes, then I am going to give you the three most-often-requested wishes whether ye like it or not -- so here goes.

"First, inexhaustible wealth.

Second, a scratch golf handicap for the rest of your life -- you'll be playing like Tiger-friggin'-Woods, to be sure.

And third, an incredible love life.

Now I am going to tend to me head," says the leprechaun, who vanishes into the mist.

One Year Later.

The man is out playing golf on another Saturday afternoon, in Ireland. He steps up to the 16th tee, and shanks his shot deep into the rough on the side of the fairway. Again.

He goes chasing after his ball, and when he finds it, he finds the same leprechaun, lying on the ground next to his ball, unconscious, with a knot on the other side of his head. The golfer revives the leprechaun, saying, "Good God, man. I canna' believe I hit ye again wit' me golf ball."

"Never mind me," says the leprechaun. "How are YOU holding up? How's your money situation?"

"Funny you should mention that," says the golfer. "Whenever I put me hand in me pocket, out it comes wit' a hundred-pound-note!"

"Remember," says the leprechaun, "I gave you inexhaustible wealth! Tell me now, how's your golf game?"

"Would you believe I played a tournament last week," says the golfer, "and I beat Tiger Woods by two strokes, I did."

"That's right," says the leprechaun. "I promised you scratch golf for the rest of your life. And how's your love life?"

"Well," says the golfer, "I met a nice lady, and we've been seein' a bit of each other..."

"Skip to the good parts!" exclaimed the leprechaun. "Details, man. I want details. How often are you and the miss gettin' it?"

"It's good," says the golfer. "At least twice a week, not to brag, mind ye."

"Twice a week???" exclaimed the leprechaun. "Are ye daft, man? You call that good???"

"Well," says the golfer, "for a Catholic priest in a small parish, it's not bad."