[Veggiepatch]

The Electronic Doctor​

An oldie but a good 'un.

A fellow goes to a brand new electronic doctor with pains in his stomach.

On the screen, the instructions read "Insert $50, take a sample cup from to the left and urinate at least 50 mL and pour the contents in the spout to your right". So he does and the machine chugs away.

After a few minutes, a card pops out and reads "I am sorry to inform you but you have been diagnosed with tennis elbow. Please refrain from any heavy lifting for two weeks".

The guy thinks "What!! I'll fix this damn contraption" and off home he goes.

Armed with a sample cup, he gets his wife to pee in it, his daughter to spit in it, then collects some dog poo from the backyard and as a finishing touch, he pleasures himself into the cup. Then he mixes it thoroughly.

Back to the doctor again. He puts $50 in, pours the mixture down the spout and the machine chugs away.

A couple of minutes later, the card pops out and it says "I am sorry to inform you but your wife has AIDS, your daughter is pregnant, the dog has rabies and if you don't stop wanking yourself, you'll never cure that tennis elbow!"

 

[Littleboy8]

The Electronic Doctor​

An oldie but a good 'un.

A fellow goes to a brand new electronic doctor with pains in his stomach.

On the screen, the instructions read "Insert $50, take a sample cup from to the left and urinate at least 50 mL and pour the contents in the spout to your right". So he does and the machine chugs away.

After a few minutes, a card pops out and reads "I am sorry to inform you but you have been diagnosed with tennis elbow. Please refrain from any heavy lifting for two weeks".

The guy thinks "What!! I'll fix this damn contraption" and off home he goes.

Armed with a sample cup, he gets his wife to pee in it, his daughter to spit in it, then collects some dog poo from the backyard and as a finishing touch, he pleasures himself into the cup. Then he mixes it thoroughly.

Back to the doctor again. He puts $50 in, pours the mixture down the spout and the machine chugs away.

A couple of minutes later, the card pops out and it says "I am sorry to inform you but your wife has AIDS, your daughter is pregnant, the dog has rabies and if you don't stop wanking yourself, you'll never cure that tennis elbow!"