[Skipton]

The Duck Huntin' Hillbilly!​

A hillbilly went hunting one day in West Virginia and bagged three ducks.
He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home
where he was confronted by a game warden who didn’t like hillbillies.
The game warden ordered to the hillbilly to show his hunting license,
and the hillbilly pulled out a valid West Virginia hunting license.
The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and
picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said,
“This duck ain’t from West Virginia . This is a Kentucky duck.
You got a Kentucky huntin’ license, boy?”
The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced a Kentucky hunting license.
The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said,
“This ain’t no Kentucky duck. This ducks from Tennessee.
You got a Tennessee license?”
The hillbilly reached into his wallet and promptly produced a Tennessee license.
The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said
This ain’t no Tennessee duck. This here ducks from Virginia. .
You got a Virginia. huntin’ license?”
Again, the hillbilly reached into his wallet and brought out a Virginia. hunting license.
The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the hillbilly
“Just where the hell are you from boy?
“The hillbilly turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said
“You tell me, you’re the expert!!”

 

[Xe]

A duke was hunting in the forest​

A duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants; he came across a tree. Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow.

"Who is this incredibly fine archer?" cried the duke. "I must find him!"

After continuing through the forest for a few miles he came across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow. Eventually the boy admitted that it was he who shot the arrows plumb in the centre of all the targets.

"You didn't just walk up to the targets and hammer the arrows into the middle, did you?" asked the duke worriedly.

"No my lord. I shot them from a hundred paces. I swear it by all that I hold holy."

"That is truly astonishing," said the duke. "I hereby admit you into my service." The boy thanked him profusely.

"But I must ask one favour in return," the duke continued. "You must tell me how you came to be such an outstanding shot."

"Well," said the boy, "first I fire the arrow at the tree, and then I paint the target around it."