[Skipton]

Texan Tourist​

A Texan is in London for business, and decides he'd like to see the sights before
he leaves, so jumps into a taxi and has them show him around.
They drive past Big Ben, and the taxi driver notes it took 15 years to build.
The Texan scoffs at this. "You Brits are so slow! We'd build something twice the size in half the time!"
Next, they swing by the Tower Bridge.
Again, the driver comments that this impressive landmark
was completed in only 8 years, and again the Texan scoffs.
"That bridge is tiny! In Texas, we would have built a much larger bridge in just a year or two."
A little further on, they drive past Buckingham Palace, but the taxi driver doesn't comment on it.
The Texan is puzzled, and asks
"What's that then? I suppose that must have taken you a hundred years to build!"
The taxi driver just shakes his head.
"Sorry mate, not sure what that one is - wasn't here yesterday."

 

[Xe]

As you probably know the guards at Buckingham Palace are not supposed to move a muscle. One day one of the guards moved just a bit. The sergeant rushed over and said "George, did I see you flinch?" George replied "Yes sir. You see there was a squirrel in the tree. He ran down the tree across the road then straight up me pants leg." "I see George" replied the sergeant. "Is that why you flinched?" George replied "No sir. There was another squirrel. He, too, came down the tree across the road and up me leg. So I had two squirrels resting in me crotch." The sergeant thought for a
moment then said "And that's what made you flinch?" "No sir" said George. "It was when I heard one say, 'Let's have one now and save the other for winter.'"