Surviving romance fraud: Brave victims help others avoid heartbreak and scams
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Content warning: This story discusses themes some members may find distressing. Discretion is advised.
Romance fraud, a cruel and manipulative crime that leaves victims emotionally and financially devastated, is on the rise.
Despite the severity of the damage inflicted, victims often find their distress dismissed by authorities as mere 'relationship troubles'.
Now, two brave women who have experienced this heart-wrenching ordeal have stepped up to change the narrative and provide much-needed support for fellow victims.
Cecilie Fjellhøy and Anna Rowe, both victims of romance fraud, have established LoveSaid, an initiative aimed at raising awareness about this insidious crime and providing support programmes for those affected.
Their mission is to ensure that romance fraud is taken seriously and that victims receive the help they need to recover.
Fjellhøy's story was featured in the 2022 Netflix true crime documentary, The Tinder Swindler.
She was conned out of £200,000 (approximately $377,600 AUD) by a man named Simon Leviev posing as a high-level diamond trader.
Despite his incarceration, Fjellhøy reported that he is allegedly operating scams again in Germany following his release.
Rowe, on the other hand, was sexually exploited by a man who she believed loved her as much as she loved him.
When she reported him to the police, she was initially dismissed and took two years for them to take her case seriously.
She then took matters into her own hands and compiled a dossier of 16 other cases, which included two rapes and one sexual assault.
However, she says a file on eight or nine of the cases is still under consideration by the UK Crown Prosecution Service.
According to data released by Lloyds Bank in February, romance scams increased by 30 per cent last year, with men making up 53 per cent of cases.
The 65 to 74 age group were also reportedly most likely to be targeted.
In October, the City of London police published data from the National Fraud Intelligence Bureau and revealed they had received 8,036 fraud reports, resulting in a loss of more than £92 million (approximately $175,393,000 AUD).
Fjellhøy and Rowe are adamant about changing the language and perception surrounding romance fraud. They argue that phrases like 'you fell for a scam' unfairly blame the victim and that the trauma associated with romance fraud is unique and severe.
Rowe explained, 'You have an illusion of a relationship. It's that soulmate connection that every little girl dreams of. What this man did to me was somehow give me confidence in myself.'
'When I realised this guy never existed, it made me feel much worse. It’s double grieving.'
'It’s not something you can get over easily. I’m seven years down the line now, and the emotions are still bubbling under the surface. That’s why it is so important that long-term support is available for victims of these scams.'
Fjellhøy echoed this sentiment, saying: 'The man I loved was never real. He faked everything. In a sense, I still loved him—or the person I thought he was.'
The duo emphasised that there is no typical victim of a romance scam. They say they’ve been contacted by thousands of people since they started raising awareness about this crime.
The victims range from teenagers to octogenarians, both men and women, from a variety of backgrounds.
'The qualities they have in common are that they are kind, empathetic, trustworthy people and at the time of the scam, they are situationally vulnerable. That’s when it can all go wrong.'
Despite the grim reality for victims of romance scams, Fjellhøy and Rowe are hopeful. They believe that with the right support, victims can emerge as warriors. They are encouraged by the positive response from fraud authorities and are determined to fight against this crime.
'There’s no magic wand to fix this,' Rowe said.
'But we know that when people in the upper echelons of the fraud authorities congratulate us and say they want to collaborate with us, they are serious about doing something about this.'
'Cecilie and me, between us, can say: “This is what survivors look like.”'
'If we get the right support, we come out as warriors. Those who want to help in this fight, I call the warrior army. Evil hasn’t won, and we can’t let it win.'
It's crucial to remember that prevention is the best defence against such scams. Always be cautious when interacting with strangers online, never share personal or financial information, and trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is.
We’re curious to know about your thoughts on this story, members. Feel free to share them in the comments below!
Romance fraud, a cruel and manipulative crime that leaves victims emotionally and financially devastated, is on the rise.
Despite the severity of the damage inflicted, victims often find their distress dismissed by authorities as mere 'relationship troubles'.
Now, two brave women who have experienced this heart-wrenching ordeal have stepped up to change the narrative and provide much-needed support for fellow victims.
Cecilie Fjellhøy and Anna Rowe, both victims of romance fraud, have established LoveSaid, an initiative aimed at raising awareness about this insidious crime and providing support programmes for those affected.
Their mission is to ensure that romance fraud is taken seriously and that victims receive the help they need to recover.
Romance fraud has been on the rise. Image source: Freepik.
Fjellhøy's story was featured in the 2022 Netflix true crime documentary, The Tinder Swindler.
She was conned out of £200,000 (approximately $377,600 AUD) by a man named Simon Leviev posing as a high-level diamond trader.
Despite his incarceration, Fjellhøy reported that he is allegedly operating scams again in Germany following his release.
Rowe, on the other hand, was sexually exploited by a man who she believed loved her as much as she loved him.
When she reported him to the police, she was initially dismissed and took two years for them to take her case seriously.
She then took matters into her own hands and compiled a dossier of 16 other cases, which included two rapes and one sexual assault.
However, she says a file on eight or nine of the cases is still under consideration by the UK Crown Prosecution Service.
According to data released by Lloyds Bank in February, romance scams increased by 30 per cent last year, with men making up 53 per cent of cases.
The 65 to 74 age group were also reportedly most likely to be targeted.
In October, the City of London police published data from the National Fraud Intelligence Bureau and revealed they had received 8,036 fraud reports, resulting in a loss of more than £92 million (approximately $175,393,000 AUD).
Fjellhøy and Rowe are adamant about changing the language and perception surrounding romance fraud. They argue that phrases like 'you fell for a scam' unfairly blame the victim and that the trauma associated with romance fraud is unique and severe.
Rowe explained, 'You have an illusion of a relationship. It's that soulmate connection that every little girl dreams of. What this man did to me was somehow give me confidence in myself.'
'When I realised this guy never existed, it made me feel much worse. It’s double grieving.'
'It’s not something you can get over easily. I’m seven years down the line now, and the emotions are still bubbling under the surface. That’s why it is so important that long-term support is available for victims of these scams.'
Fjellhøy echoed this sentiment, saying: 'The man I loved was never real. He faked everything. In a sense, I still loved him—or the person I thought he was.'
The duo emphasised that there is no typical victim of a romance scam. They say they’ve been contacted by thousands of people since they started raising awareness about this crime.
The victims range from teenagers to octogenarians, both men and women, from a variety of backgrounds.
'The qualities they have in common are that they are kind, empathetic, trustworthy people and at the time of the scam, they are situationally vulnerable. That’s when it can all go wrong.'
Despite the grim reality for victims of romance scams, Fjellhøy and Rowe are hopeful. They believe that with the right support, victims can emerge as warriors. They are encouraged by the positive response from fraud authorities and are determined to fight against this crime.
'There’s no magic wand to fix this,' Rowe said.
'But we know that when people in the upper echelons of the fraud authorities congratulate us and say they want to collaborate with us, they are serious about doing something about this.'
'Cecilie and me, between us, can say: “This is what survivors look like.”'
'If we get the right support, we come out as warriors. Those who want to help in this fight, I call the warrior army. Evil hasn’t won, and we can’t let it win.'
We’re curious to know about your thoughts on this story, members. Feel free to share them in the comments below!
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