[Danielle F.]

Sometimes, the hardest part of a wedding isn’t the planning...​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/litelaya2:

'I (28F) am getting married soon, and while making my guest list I ran into a dilemma about my former best friend, let’s call him Patrick (30M).'

'Patrick and I were close friends for about five years, but we fell out badly a couple of years ago.'

'To keep it short: Patrick cheated on his then-fiancée (now wife). I was one of the only people he told, and when I said he should come clean to her and take responsibility, he blew up at me.'

'He turned it back on me, verbally abused me, and after that fight, I cut off contact.'

'We live in different cities and haven’t spoken since. But we still share a wider friend group.'

'Everyone’s kind of scattered now, but I invited all of them to my wedding, except Patrick. Recently, some of those friends were texting about my wedding, excited that it’ll be like a reunion, and they realised Patrick wasn’t on the list.'

'One of them (who actually worked with Patrick and knows about the cheating firsthand) asked me why.'

'He told me Patrick is still cheating with the same woman from before and now it’s worse.'

'Patrick recently got her promoted at work, they’re on the same team, and they even go on business trips together. His wife still has no clue.'

'This friend suggested I should just invite Patrick anyway so it doesn’t look like I’m bitter, since his cheating is “his personal problem” and he probably wouldn’t come.'

'Here’s my issue: I don’t want Patrick at my wedding because I don’t want cheaters in my life, especially ones who are still actively lying to their spouses.'

'I don’t see the point of reaching out as a formality when I don’t even want him as a friend anymore.'

'At the same time, I’m worried it’ll look weird to our mutual friends that I invited everyone except him.'

'So, am I being unreasonable?'

 

[mOiOz]

If he can lie to his wife, about something this serious... how trustworthy will he be to you!
I broke off with a very close friend when she started cheating on her husband (an absolutely wonderful guy too)... you think that's bad?
He took his life soon after finding out!
NEVER trust a liar!

 

[RobbyNotTheRobot]

I am amazed something like this needs airing and validated by strangers on the internet and I got as far as
"He told me Patrick is still cheating with the same woman from before and now it’s worse.'

It's your wedding and that is all there is to it. They don't like it, they can go suck eggs.

 

[Kaz Candy]

I don't think you are being unreasonable. My mum once told me, and I am now 65, but still heed & share this advice... if you wouldn't take them out for dinner and pay for them, why would you think to invite them to your wedding. You have your reasons to delete the friendship, it's your wedding and all about you your soon to be husband/wife, your close friends and family, not someone you invite, to not have your friends uncomfortable. Enjoy your day, and congratulations

 

[wildroseforever]

Do not invite him

 

[Luckyus]

I tell lies, you tell lies, everybody tells lies mostly harmless and inconsequential
but when I catch them out I can't stand the bastard.
To tell lies you g have got to a have a bloody good memory?

 

[RNgoodgee49]

I agree with you 100%!! It’s your K you future husband day and the last person you want around is someone you are no longer friends either and who is such an awful person.
Stick to your guns and moral code.
Have a wonderfull wedding and marriage

 

[Dynomite]

No. He should know that you are aware of his cheating and he has scored minus friend points. Maybe don't invite either of them and have a small ceremony and celebration.

 

[7777]

Don't invite trash to your wedding, that will give off bad vibes everytime you look at the person. It's your beautiful day to enjoy with your husband to be. You and your husband are in charge of the wedding list, not friends or people who pretend to be friends. Learn to take charge of your life and who you wish to associate with. You dont need low life, egotistical morons at your wedding. Wishing you and your husband to be, a marriage that is blessed with devotion, respect, prosperity, happiness and love for one another. God bless,

 

[HelenB55]

It’s YOUR wedding & YOUR special day.
Invite who you want. If Patrick isn’t on your Invited Guest List, then so be it…YOUR CHOICE !!

If you don’t want to invite certain people to your wedding, then don’t. People should have respect & not ask why certain people aren’t invited.

Enjoy your special day & have a wonderful life together…& leave the NEGATIVE people behind.

 

[SirExton]

Don't do it, U mad impulsive fool! Ha! Ha!

 

[Suzy Q]

Truely, I think this column of AIBU is a load of crock, who is making these stories up, do they think we are stupid senile seniors, give me a break

 

[Luckyus]

Truely, I think this column of AIBU is a load of crock, who is making these stories up, do they think we are stupid senile seniors, give me a break

Maybe its classed light comical relief?

 

[7777]

Truely, I think this column of AIBU is a load of crock, who is making these stories up, do they think we are stupid senile seniors, give me a break

Dear member Suzy Q, thankyou for your post. With respect, of you don't like these kind of AIBU columns, then just skip them. There are many members who take interest in these AIBU columns, and enjoy expressing their opinions on the stories. They are the kind of stories that many members may have experienced themselves, or know someone who has gone through a similar story. So it's nice when members can exchange opinions and views, and share with each other, how they delt with their own story. Wishing you a pleasant evening.

 

[Towing]

Dear member Suzy Q, thankyou for your post. With respect, of you don't like these kind of AIBU columns, then just skip them. There are many members who take interest in these AIBU columns, and enjoy expressing their opinions on the stories. They are the kind of stories that many members may have experienced themselves, or know someone who has gone through a similar story. So it's nice when members can exchange opinions and views, and share with each other, how they delt with their own story. Wishing you a pleasant evening.

A person who treats others like this and you've had a disagreement I wouldn't invite him either.