Should wedding guests be marched off the venue for wearing the wrong colour? THIS bride thinks so

Imagine opening a wedding invitation only to discover a list of banned colours longer than a grocery receipt.

Your heart sank as you realised your carefully chosen outfit was forbidden.

Suddenly, what should have been an exciting celebration felt more like a test you might fail.

The invitation that caused a social media storm arrived with all the usual elegance—fine cardstock, flowing fonts—but included a warning that felt more like a military order than a friendly request.

Guests were instructed: 'For wedding attire, we kindly ask our guests to avoid wearing the following colours: black, white, ivory, red, gold, champagne, teal, and orange. No jeans or hoodies allowed. Appropriate attire pallet [sic]: deep forest greens, olive green, mauve, navy blue, and earthy neutrals. Any inappropriate attire will be asked to leave and escorted off the property.'

The guest who shared the invitation—married to the groom’s cousin—was particularly distressed because her chosen dress was banned.

Etiquette experts said dress codes were not inherently unreasonable, but tone mattered.

NYC-based bridal stylist Jackie Avrumson said: 'In 2025, I believe that wedding guest fashion will lean toward an elegant and sophisticated aesthetic, with a focus on timeless yet contemporary pieces.'

Fashion expert Katie Sands Bochner added: 'While weddings are becoming less black tie, formal attire in general is on the rise, with guests embracing polished and elevated looks.'

Etiquette consultant Elaine Swann explained that guidance could help guests dress appropriately without feeling policed: 'You can tell what the colour scheme for the wedding is from the invitation or the wedding website, which gives an idea of what direction the couple might be going.'

The difference between guidance and demands became clear in online commentary.

One guest wrote, 'I have no problem with people saying 'here's our colour palette, we encourage you to dress on theme if you're able,' or asking guests to avoid a colour for cultural reasons. But 'comply or get out' is a wild stance to take.'

For many, strict colour rules created real challenges as wedding-appropriate clothing often costs more than everyday wear, and finding an outfit with the correct neckline, length, fabric and colour is difficult even without restrictions.

Rental services offered some relief, with founder Eshita Kabra-Davies noting they allowed guests to wear designer pieces for a fraction of the retail cost.

Sometimes the best choice is to decline politely.

One guest shared, 'I had a relative apply very similar colour restrictions. She wanted everyone in pale blues, pinks and lavender—and semi-formal. For a farm. I wasn't spending money on something I'd wear once, so I just RSVP'd no.'

Social media has fuelled this trend of curated wedding aesthetics, sometimes prioritising Instagram-perfect photos over guest comfort.

'You can always tell immediately who is doing it for 'the gram' instead of actually caring about their guests,' a commenter observed.

Traditional guidance still offered practical tips: avoid white, ivory or anything that photographs as white; be cautious with champagne, cream and pale gold; and ensure black outfits are brightened with cheerful styling.

Venue, season and formality should also guide choices, with a bias toward being slightly overdressed rather than underdressed.

The most successful weddings balanced the couple’s vision with guests’ comfort, and clear, polite wording made requests feel friendly rather than authoritarian.

After all, guests were taking time off work, arranging childcare, buying gifts and celebrating a couple’s happiness—they deserved respect and consideration in return.

Have you ever faced a wedding invitation with strict attire rules, and how did you navigate it?