She can’t escape her abuser, but housing laws make it even harder—what happens next?
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Content Warning: This article discusses sensitive topics including domestic violence, abusive relationships, and the emotional and physical impact on survivors. Reader discretion is advised.
A Sunday morning turned Phoebe’s life upside down, setting off a chain of events that would leave her struggling to find safety.
As she tried to escape an abusive relationship, she faced unexpected obstacles in the process of securing housing.
What followed was a shocking journey filled with challenges that many others in similar situations are all too familiar with.
Phoebe’s life took an unexpected turn one Sunday morning, when her partner entered her bedroom without permission.
‘That day he came into my bedroom and wouldn't leave after I asked him,’ Phoebe shared, her name changed for safety.
Things quickly escalated when she tried to close the door, only for him to fling it back and hit her in the face.
‘I’ve just pushed the door to get him the rest of the way out, and he's flung the door back and hit me in the face,’ she recalled.
In the heat of the moment, Phoebe jumped up and was threatened with death.
Phoebe had never experienced physical violence before, but her gut told her something wasn’t right, describing her relationship as very controlling.
‘I didn’t even realise it was a toxic relationship, but I just knew that something was off. Very controlling, financially controlling … I asked him many times to leave,’ she said.
When he left the house, he insisted on returning to collect his things, making Phoebe decide it was time to leave him.
The situation became even more complicated as Phoebe tried to secure safe housing for her and her daughters in the midst of a rental crisis.
‘Just buying and selling the house… with stamp duty and everything, you’re going to drop $100,000 just shifting if you’ve got an average house in Melbourne,’ Phoebe said, pointing out how much more affordable staying in her current home would be.
Her safety was her top priority, and Phoebe contacted the police, securing a restraining order.
‘Based on his size, for one, and second of all, knowing what he went to jail for,’ Phoebe explained, citing her ex-partner’s criminal history.
She couldn’t sleep at night, constantly worried about his access to her home.
‘I'm up all night worrying about the situation and worrying about that. He has a key to the house still,’ Phoebe said.
Her daughters, too, were on edge.
‘They’re looking over their shoulder and locking up, checking the house at night,’ Phoebe explained.
Despite the threat, Phoebe had no idea how hard it would be to find new housing.
Renters escaping domestic violence in Australia are allowed to break leases, but the rules vary by state.
Phoebe was relieved to learn she could leave with just seven days’ notice in WA, the same rule applying in Queensland.
In contrast, Victoria required 28 days’ notice for tenants on periodic leases, while other states like NSW and South Australia allowed for immediate termination.
However, things took a turn when Phoebe sought a rental reference from her real estate agent, and he refused.
‘He has come in and said, pretty much, 'I'm not giving you a reference,’ Phoebe said, recounting her conversation with the agent.
Phoebe explained how her rental history was spotless, yet she was still struggling to secure a place to live.
‘I’ve got a rental ledger with rent paid always in advance…I’ve lived here for two years, no issues at all, and I can't tell anyone to be able to escape the violence,’ she said.
The frustration grew when Phoebe discovered her ex-partner had submitted a termination notice, which would allow him to get out of the lease.
‘That means that he would've got off the lease…and he would've been given half his bond back and everything would've been left to me to sort out,’ Phoebe explained, realising the gravity of the situation.
Fortunately, the termination notice was withdrawn after she sought legal advice, and Phoebe began to question how her real estate agent had handled the situation.
‘The WA government have done awesome work helping the victim, but then it's come up with another roadblock with the real estate playing God, almost,’ she said.
Despite these setbacks, Phoebe’s determination to protect her daughters remained steadfast.
The real estate agency responded to The Feed’s request for comment, acknowledging the sensitivity of the issue but declining to provide further details.
‘We acknowledge the importance of discussions surrounding family and domestic violence (FDV) and tenant rights, and we approach these matters with the utmost care and sensitivity,’ a spokesperson said.
Tessa Boyd-Caine from ANROWS, the National Research Organisation for Women’s Safety, noted that many perpetrators manipulate the system, adding another layer of difficulty for those fleeing family violence.
‘A lot of the abusive and controlling behaviours in a family are not only physical,’ Boyd-Caine explained.
She went on to stress how critical it was to support survivors with appropriate housing options.
Phoebe’s ordeal, however, wasn’t over yet.
After months of searching, Phoebe ended up in temporary accommodation while her daughters found their own place.
‘I do miss each other a lot, we haven’t been apart before—she’s absolutely devastated,’ Phoebe said, reflecting on the emotional toll on her family.
Phoebe’s experience highlights a larger issue, where domestic violence victims face impossible choices between homelessness and returning to unsafe homes.
‘People who are experiencing family violence are left with this impossible choice. Do they couch surf? Do they sleep rough, or do they return to an unsafe home?’ Boyd-Caine said, summarising the plight many face.
The government’s response to family violence needs to adapt, focusing on long-term solutions for both victims and perpetrators.
Boyd-Caine advocated for creating safe spaces for those affected by violence and ensuring they have access to secure housing.
‘So we need to think about housing as a much more systemic and a much longer term response to the supports that people experiencing family violence need,’ Boyd-Caine said.
Phoebe’s story serves as a reminder of the challenges victims face in navigating the system and trying to rebuild their lives after leaving an abusive relationship.
She has since taken steps toward legal action against her real estate agent, feeling betrayed after everything she had been through.
‘I wouldn’t take it back, but it’s hard,’ Phoebe admitted, reflecting on her difficult journey.
In a previous story, we explored the shocking truth behind a woman's nightmare after a simple Google search turned her world upside down.
The truth she uncovered was far more than she bargained for, leaving her questioning everything.
Read on to discover the chilling reality she uncovered.
Phoebe’s journey shows just how difficult it can be to rebuild a life after escaping domestic violence. What do you think needs to change in the system to better support victims in similar situations? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
A Sunday morning turned Phoebe’s life upside down, setting off a chain of events that would leave her struggling to find safety.
As she tried to escape an abusive relationship, she faced unexpected obstacles in the process of securing housing.
What followed was a shocking journey filled with challenges that many others in similar situations are all too familiar with.
Phoebe’s life took an unexpected turn one Sunday morning, when her partner entered her bedroom without permission.
‘That day he came into my bedroom and wouldn't leave after I asked him,’ Phoebe shared, her name changed for safety.
Things quickly escalated when she tried to close the door, only for him to fling it back and hit her in the face.
A violent encounter sparks a fight for safety. Image source: AAP/Gemma Hubeek/SOPA Images/Sipa USA
‘I’ve just pushed the door to get him the rest of the way out, and he's flung the door back and hit me in the face,’ she recalled.
In the heat of the moment, Phoebe jumped up and was threatened with death.
Phoebe had never experienced physical violence before, but her gut told her something wasn’t right, describing her relationship as very controlling.
‘I didn’t even realise it was a toxic relationship, but I just knew that something was off. Very controlling, financially controlling … I asked him many times to leave,’ she said.
When he left the house, he insisted on returning to collect his things, making Phoebe decide it was time to leave him.
The situation became even more complicated as Phoebe tried to secure safe housing for her and her daughters in the midst of a rental crisis.
‘Just buying and selling the house… with stamp duty and everything, you’re going to drop $100,000 just shifting if you’ve got an average house in Melbourne,’ Phoebe said, pointing out how much more affordable staying in her current home would be.
Her safety was her top priority, and Phoebe contacted the police, securing a restraining order.
‘Based on his size, for one, and second of all, knowing what he went to jail for,’ Phoebe explained, citing her ex-partner’s criminal history.
She couldn’t sleep at night, constantly worried about his access to her home.
‘I'm up all night worrying about the situation and worrying about that. He has a key to the house still,’ Phoebe said.
Her daughters, too, were on edge.
‘They’re looking over their shoulder and locking up, checking the house at night,’ Phoebe explained.
Despite the threat, Phoebe had no idea how hard it would be to find new housing.
Renters escaping domestic violence in Australia are allowed to break leases, but the rules vary by state.
Phoebe was relieved to learn she could leave with just seven days’ notice in WA, the same rule applying in Queensland.
In contrast, Victoria required 28 days’ notice for tenants on periodic leases, while other states like NSW and South Australia allowed for immediate termination.
However, things took a turn when Phoebe sought a rental reference from her real estate agent, and he refused.
‘He has come in and said, pretty much, 'I'm not giving you a reference,’ Phoebe said, recounting her conversation with the agent.
Phoebe explained how her rental history was spotless, yet she was still struggling to secure a place to live.
‘I’ve got a rental ledger with rent paid always in advance…I’ve lived here for two years, no issues at all, and I can't tell anyone to be able to escape the violence,’ she said.
The frustration grew when Phoebe discovered her ex-partner had submitted a termination notice, which would allow him to get out of the lease.
‘That means that he would've got off the lease…and he would've been given half his bond back and everything would've been left to me to sort out,’ Phoebe explained, realising the gravity of the situation.
Fortunately, the termination notice was withdrawn after she sought legal advice, and Phoebe began to question how her real estate agent had handled the situation.
‘The WA government have done awesome work helping the victim, but then it's come up with another roadblock with the real estate playing God, almost,’ she said.
Despite these setbacks, Phoebe’s determination to protect her daughters remained steadfast.
The real estate agency responded to The Feed’s request for comment, acknowledging the sensitivity of the issue but declining to provide further details.
‘We acknowledge the importance of discussions surrounding family and domestic violence (FDV) and tenant rights, and we approach these matters with the utmost care and sensitivity,’ a spokesperson said.
Tessa Boyd-Caine from ANROWS, the National Research Organisation for Women’s Safety, noted that many perpetrators manipulate the system, adding another layer of difficulty for those fleeing family violence.
‘A lot of the abusive and controlling behaviours in a family are not only physical,’ Boyd-Caine explained.
She went on to stress how critical it was to support survivors with appropriate housing options.
Phoebe’s ordeal, however, wasn’t over yet.
After months of searching, Phoebe ended up in temporary accommodation while her daughters found their own place.
‘I do miss each other a lot, we haven’t been apart before—she’s absolutely devastated,’ Phoebe said, reflecting on the emotional toll on her family.
Phoebe’s experience highlights a larger issue, where domestic violence victims face impossible choices between homelessness and returning to unsafe homes.
‘People who are experiencing family violence are left with this impossible choice. Do they couch surf? Do they sleep rough, or do they return to an unsafe home?’ Boyd-Caine said, summarising the plight many face.
The government’s response to family violence needs to adapt, focusing on long-term solutions for both victims and perpetrators.
Boyd-Caine advocated for creating safe spaces for those affected by violence and ensuring they have access to secure housing.
‘So we need to think about housing as a much more systemic and a much longer term response to the supports that people experiencing family violence need,’ Boyd-Caine said.
Phoebe’s story serves as a reminder of the challenges victims face in navigating the system and trying to rebuild their lives after leaving an abusive relationship.
She has since taken steps toward legal action against her real estate agent, feeling betrayed after everything she had been through.
‘I wouldn’t take it back, but it’s hard,’ Phoebe admitted, reflecting on her difficult journey.
In a previous story, we explored the shocking truth behind a woman's nightmare after a simple Google search turned her world upside down.
The truth she uncovered was far more than she bargained for, leaving her questioning everything.
Read on to discover the chilling reality she uncovered.
Phoebe’s journey shows just how difficult it can be to rebuild a life after escaping domestic violence. What do you think needs to change in the system to better support victims in similar situations? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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