[Ivory]

Retirement Packages​

The military recently realized it had more generals than it needed, so they offered an early retirement deal. After sifting through all kinds of plans that nobody could agree on, they finally got creative.
They announced that any general willing to retire on the spot would receive their full annual benefits — plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on their body. And the best part? The general could choose the two points!
The first to step up was an Air Force general. He picked the top of his head to the soles of his feet — a solid six feet. He walked out with a check for $720,000.
Next came an Army general, who stretched his arms straight overhead and asked to be measured from his fingertips to his toes - eight feet. His check? A cool $960,000.
Then came a seasoned old Marine general. When asked where he’d like to be measured, he calmly replied, “From the tip of my groin to my testicles.”
The pension officer blinked in surprise and gently suggested he might want to rethink that choice, especially after seeing the other two walk away with such hefty checks. But the Marine stood firm.
So they called in the base medical officer for the official measurement. The doc asked the general to drop his pants, placed the tape at the tip, and started measuring downward - but kept going, and going.
Finally, the doc paused and asked, “Sir, where are your testicles?”
With a straight face, the Marine replied, “Vietnam.”