[Skipton]

Reporting In!​

A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his
bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an
envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to
“Dad”. With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with
trembling hands and read the letter :



“Dear Dad, it is with great regret that I’m writing to you.

I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a
scene with Mum and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice but I
knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing,
tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older
than I am but it’s not only the passion - Dad she’s pregnant. Stacy
said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and
has a stack of firewood for the whole Winter. We share a dream of
having many more children.



Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really
hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with
the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the
meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy
can get better. She deserves it. Don’t worry Dad. I’m fifteen
and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I’m sure that we
will return to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.



Love John



PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my
school report which is in my centre desk drawer. Call me when it’s
safe to come home....