Rekindling friendships can bring comfort in later years: 'More important as we get older'

As we navigate our later years, many of us find ourselves reflecting on friendships that have faded over time. Whether it's that colleague from your first job, your childhood neighbor, or the friend who moved interstate decades ago, the thought of reconnecting can feel both exciting and daunting.

But here's the good news: it's never too late to rekindle those connections, and doing so could be one of the best decisions you make for your health and happiness.

Recent data from the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare reveals that one in three older Australians experience social isolation, with loneliness affecting our age group more than any other.

The State of the Nation Report from Ending Loneliness Together found that chronic loneliness impacts one in six Australians, with seniors particularly vulnerable due to retirement, loss of partners, and reduced mobility.

But before you let those statistics discourage you, remember this: reconnecting with old friends isn't just possible—it's happening every day across Australia, and the benefits are profound.

Why Reconnecting Matters More Than Ever

Dr Michelle Lim, scientific chairperson of Ending Loneliness Together, explains that our social needs don't diminish with age—they evolve.

'The quality of our connections becomes even more important as we get older,' she noted.

'Old friendships carry shared history and understanding that new relationships take years to build.'

Research from Monash University shows that maintaining social connections can reduce the risk of dementia by up to 40 per cent, lower blood pressure, and even boost immune function. For seniors, friendships aren't just nice to have—they're essential for healthy aging.

Understanding Why We Lost Touch

Clinical psychologist Trish Purnell-Webb reassures us that drifting apart is normal.

'Life gets busy. We raise families, build careers, care for aging parents. Sometimes friendships take a back seat, not because we don't care, but because we're juggling so many responsibilities.'

Understanding these reasons helps remove guilt and makes reconnecting feel less daunting. Remember, your old friend likely feels the same way you do.

Taking the First Step: Start Small and Be Patient

The thought of reaching out after years of silence can be paralysing. Dr Lim suggests starting with low-pressure approaches.

'Don't expect to pick up exactly where you left off. Relationships need time to rebuild trust and familiarity.'

'I reached out to my university roommate after 30 years,' shares Margaret, 72, from Brisbane. 'I simply sent a card saying I'd been thinking of her. She called me in tears—she'd been wanting to reconnect too but didn't know how to start.'

Embracing Technology (Yes, You Can Do This!)

While picking up the phone remains valuable, technology offers new ways to reconnect. The National Seniors Australia reports that 78 per cent of Australians over 65 now use smartphones, and social media use among seniors has doubled since 2020.

Navigating the Changes

People change over decades, and that's okay. Purnell-Webb advises approaching renewed friendships with curiosity rather than expectations.

'You're not trying to recreate the past—you're building a new friendship with someone who shares your history.'

Be prepared for some relationships to feel different. Political views might have diverged, lifestyle choices may vary, or health challenges could affect how you interact. The key is focusing on what still connects you rather than what divides you.

Dealing with Disappointment

Not every attempt at reconnection will succeed, and that's normal. Some people might not respond, others might not be interested in rekindling the friendship.

Dr Lim emphasised this isn't personal. 'People have different capacities for relationships at different life stages. Someone not responding doesn't diminish the value of your shared past.'

Making New-Old Friendships Work

Once you've reconnected, maintaining the friendship requires intentional effort. Research from the Australian Psychological Society suggests that regular, predictable contact helps friendships thrive in later life.

The Ripple Effect of Reconnection

Rebuilding one friendship often leads to reconnecting with entire social circles.

'I reached out to one school friend,' shares Patricia, 75, from Melbourne. 'She added me to a WhatsApp group with six other classmates.

Now we meet monthly for lunch, and it's become the highlight of my social calendar.'

These renewed connections can also benefit your existing relationships. Sharing stories from your past helps family members understand you better, and introducing old friends to new ones enriches your entire social network.

Australian Resources to Support Your Journey

Several organisations across Australia specifically support seniors in building social connections:

• Ending Loneliness Together - Provides resources and campaigns to address loneliness
• National Seniors Australia - Offers social groups and connection programs nationwide
• Be Connected - Free training to help seniors improve digital literacy
• Community Visitors Scheme - Matches volunteers with isolated seniors
• Men's Sheds and Women's Sheds - Community spaces for socializing and activities

Your Friendship Investment Plan

Think of reconnecting with old friends as an investment in your future wellbeing.

Like any investment, it requires initial effort but pays dividends over time. Start with one person—perhaps someone you've thought about recently or whose name keeps popping into your mind.