Reigniting the Spark: How to Maintain a Fulfilling Sex Life During and After Cancer Treatment
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Last week, I wrote an article about ‘keeping the fire alive with expert tips for seniors to maintain a sizzling bedroom life’. I was very nervous about how this type of article would ‘land’ with you all, and I was absolutely blown away by the positive feedback it received. As a result, I want to commit to breaking the stigma and talking about sex over sixty.
There were so many comments from multiple members who mentioned wanting to read more about all different types of sex topics. Still, there was one consistent topic that struck a chord with me among the comments: how illness, cancer, surgeries, etc., impact our sex lives. So, I have taken a deep dive into how cancer, but really all illnesses, impact our sex and how you can reignite that spark during and after treatment.
Battling cancer is a life-changing experience, and its treatment can leave lasting effects on various aspects of a person's life. One such area that may be impacted is a person's sex life. The physical and emotional challenges resulting from cancer treatment can often lead to changes in intimacy and sexual function. However, it is important to remember that it is possible to maintain a fulfilling sex life during this difficult time.
In this article, we will explore the effects of cancer treatment on sexuality and provide expert tips for seniors to keep the flame alive.
First and foremost, let’s understand the impact that cancer treatment can have on your sex life.
Cancer treatments such as surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation therapy can have a range of effects on one's sexual function and desire. These effects can be temporary or long-lasting, depending on the type of treatment and the individual's response to it. Some of the most common changes experienced by patients include:
1. Hormonal changes: Cancer treatments can cause hormonal imbalances, leading to changes in libido, erectile function, and vaginal dryness.
2. Fatigue: The physical and emotional stress of treatment can lead to exhaustion, making it difficult for patients to engage in sexual activities.
3. Emotional changes: Anxiety, depression, and feelings of low self-esteem can arise due to changes in body image and the stress of dealing with cancer, which understandably can impact one's desire for sex.
4. Pain and discomfort: Surgery and radiation can cause pain or discomfort in the genitals or other parts of the body that may make sex difficult or less enjoyable.
5. Medications: Some medications used to manage cancer-related symptoms can have side effects that impact sexual function, such as reduced libido or difficulty with erections.
The reality is, if you or your partner is going through or have gone through some form of treatment, it’s likely your sex life will change. But ‘change’ doesn’t mean it’s over. Change simply means you will have to try new and different ways to experience intimacy because, at the end of the day, sex doesn’t have to be penetrative sex. There are so many ways to enjoy sex that will ensure both you and your partner are comfortable and pain-free, but most importantly, are having a good time. You just need to be open to (pardon the pun) new experiences.
So, here are a few expert tips for maintaining a sizzling bedroom life during and after cancer treatment.
1. Communicate openly with your partner: Honest and open communication is key to maintaining intimacy during this challenging time. Share your feelings, fears, and concerns with your partner, and listen to their thoughts and feelings as well. This will help you both understand each other's needs and work together to find solutions.
Maybe you’re worried about them feeling pain? Or hurting them? The only way you will be able to figure out how you can make your ‘new’ sex life work is by communicating with your partner. How do you know how they feel if you don’t sit down and have a conversation about it? For all you know, they desperately want to have sex as well but they just don’t know how to approach the topic because so much has changed for them as well.
2. Be patient and gentle with yourself: Give yourself and your body the time it needs to recover. It's essential to listen to your body and not push yourself beyond your current limits. Maybe you aren’t ready for sex, and that’s okay. Maybe you need intimacy in other ways, whether that be prolonged cuddling in bed, holding hands, or kissing.
3. Seek professional help: Consult with your healthcare team about your sexual concerns, and consider seeking the guidance of a general practitioner or councillor. They can provide valuable insights, advice, and support to help you navigate the changes in your sex life.
4. Explore new ways of being intimate: Experiment with different types of touch, such as massage, cuddling, or using an adult toy to maintain closeness with your partner. Be open to trying new sexual positions or activities that may be more comfortable or pleasurable for you during and after treatment. Make sure you try positions that are achievable and comfortable for the both of you, and if penetrative sex is out of the question, there are hundreds of different adult toys you can use on each other to ensure you are both getting your needs met, together and also having fun whilst doing so.
5. Use lubrication and aids if necessary: Vaginal dryness and erectile difficulties can be addressed with the use of lubricants and aids, such as vaginal moisturisers, water-based lubricants, and erectile dysfunction medications. Speak with your healthcare provider about which options are best for you. If you find none of these work for you any more, it’s not the end of the (sex) world. There are still so many ways for you to enjoy intimacy, think hands, adult toys, erotic movies… You get the gist.
6. Practice self-care and relaxation techniques: Engaging in activities that promote relaxation and emotional well-being, such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises, can help manage stress and improve your overall mood, which can positively impact your sex life. You aren’t going to want to have sex if you aren’t feeling good about yourself in the first place. So make sure you’re implementing changes into your life that lift your mood and make you feel better from the inside out.
7. Focus on pleasure rather than performance: This is arguably the most important point of them all, members. Shift your mindset from achieving a specific sexual goal (e.g. orgasm) to simply enjoying the pleasurable sensations and emotional closeness that come from being intimate with your partner. Sometimes orgasms aren’t achievable, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you can’t feel pleasure and have fun. Don’t think of this as a race to the finish line because, folks, it really is the journey that brings the most joy…
Cancer treatment can certainly present challenges to maintaining a fulfilling sex life, but with patience, communication, and a willingness to adapt and explore new, creative ways of being intimate, seniors can, without a doubt, continue to enjoy a satisfying and loving connection with their sexual partners.
Remember, it is essential to consult with your healthcare team and seek support from professionals or support groups when needed. By prioritising your emotional and physical well-being, you can reignite the spark and keep the fire alive in your bedroom during and after cancer treatment!
What do you think, members? For those of you who are struggling with sex due to ongoing or having undergone cancer treatment, did you learn something new? Or maybe this article didn’t touch on something you’d like to share with other members to help them out? Please share your thoughts and opinions in the comment section below.
There were so many comments from multiple members who mentioned wanting to read more about all different types of sex topics. Still, there was one consistent topic that struck a chord with me among the comments: how illness, cancer, surgeries, etc., impact our sex lives. So, I have taken a deep dive into how cancer, but really all illnesses, impact our sex and how you can reignite that spark during and after treatment.
Battling cancer is a life-changing experience, and its treatment can leave lasting effects on various aspects of a person's life. One such area that may be impacted is a person's sex life. The physical and emotional challenges resulting from cancer treatment can often lead to changes in intimacy and sexual function. However, it is important to remember that it is possible to maintain a fulfilling sex life during this difficult time.
There are many different ways you can stay intimate with your partner during and after cancer treatment. Image source: Shutterstock.
In this article, we will explore the effects of cancer treatment on sexuality and provide expert tips for seniors to keep the flame alive.
First and foremost, let’s understand the impact that cancer treatment can have on your sex life.
Cancer treatments such as surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation therapy can have a range of effects on one's sexual function and desire. These effects can be temporary or long-lasting, depending on the type of treatment and the individual's response to it. Some of the most common changes experienced by patients include:
1. Hormonal changes: Cancer treatments can cause hormonal imbalances, leading to changes in libido, erectile function, and vaginal dryness.
2. Fatigue: The physical and emotional stress of treatment can lead to exhaustion, making it difficult for patients to engage in sexual activities.
3. Emotional changes: Anxiety, depression, and feelings of low self-esteem can arise due to changes in body image and the stress of dealing with cancer, which understandably can impact one's desire for sex.
4. Pain and discomfort: Surgery and radiation can cause pain or discomfort in the genitals or other parts of the body that may make sex difficult or less enjoyable.
5. Medications: Some medications used to manage cancer-related symptoms can have side effects that impact sexual function, such as reduced libido or difficulty with erections.
The reality is, if you or your partner is going through or have gone through some form of treatment, it’s likely your sex life will change. But ‘change’ doesn’t mean it’s over. Change simply means you will have to try new and different ways to experience intimacy because, at the end of the day, sex doesn’t have to be penetrative sex. There are so many ways to enjoy sex that will ensure both you and your partner are comfortable and pain-free, but most importantly, are having a good time. You just need to be open to (pardon the pun) new experiences.
So, here are a few expert tips for maintaining a sizzling bedroom life during and after cancer treatment.
1. Communicate openly with your partner: Honest and open communication is key to maintaining intimacy during this challenging time. Share your feelings, fears, and concerns with your partner, and listen to their thoughts and feelings as well. This will help you both understand each other's needs and work together to find solutions.
Maybe you’re worried about them feeling pain? Or hurting them? The only way you will be able to figure out how you can make your ‘new’ sex life work is by communicating with your partner. How do you know how they feel if you don’t sit down and have a conversation about it? For all you know, they desperately want to have sex as well but they just don’t know how to approach the topic because so much has changed for them as well.
2. Be patient and gentle with yourself: Give yourself and your body the time it needs to recover. It's essential to listen to your body and not push yourself beyond your current limits. Maybe you aren’t ready for sex, and that’s okay. Maybe you need intimacy in other ways, whether that be prolonged cuddling in bed, holding hands, or kissing.
3. Seek professional help: Consult with your healthcare team about your sexual concerns, and consider seeking the guidance of a general practitioner or councillor. They can provide valuable insights, advice, and support to help you navigate the changes in your sex life.
4. Explore new ways of being intimate: Experiment with different types of touch, such as massage, cuddling, or using an adult toy to maintain closeness with your partner. Be open to trying new sexual positions or activities that may be more comfortable or pleasurable for you during and after treatment. Make sure you try positions that are achievable and comfortable for the both of you, and if penetrative sex is out of the question, there are hundreds of different adult toys you can use on each other to ensure you are both getting your needs met, together and also having fun whilst doing so.
5. Use lubrication and aids if necessary: Vaginal dryness and erectile difficulties can be addressed with the use of lubricants and aids, such as vaginal moisturisers, water-based lubricants, and erectile dysfunction medications. Speak with your healthcare provider about which options are best for you. If you find none of these work for you any more, it’s not the end of the (sex) world. There are still so many ways for you to enjoy intimacy, think hands, adult toys, erotic movies… You get the gist.
6. Practice self-care and relaxation techniques: Engaging in activities that promote relaxation and emotional well-being, such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises, can help manage stress and improve your overall mood, which can positively impact your sex life. You aren’t going to want to have sex if you aren’t feeling good about yourself in the first place. So make sure you’re implementing changes into your life that lift your mood and make you feel better from the inside out.
7. Focus on pleasure rather than performance: This is arguably the most important point of them all, members. Shift your mindset from achieving a specific sexual goal (e.g. orgasm) to simply enjoying the pleasurable sensations and emotional closeness that come from being intimate with your partner. Sometimes orgasms aren’t achievable, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you can’t feel pleasure and have fun. Don’t think of this as a race to the finish line because, folks, it really is the journey that brings the most joy…
Cancer treatment can certainly present challenges to maintaining a fulfilling sex life, but with patience, communication, and a willingness to adapt and explore new, creative ways of being intimate, seniors can, without a doubt, continue to enjoy a satisfying and loving connection with their sexual partners.
Remember, it is essential to consult with your healthcare team and seek support from professionals or support groups when needed. By prioritising your emotional and physical well-being, you can reignite the spark and keep the fire alive in your bedroom during and after cancer treatment!
What do you think, members? For those of you who are struggling with sex due to ongoing or having undergone cancer treatment, did you learn something new? Or maybe this article didn’t touch on something you’d like to share with other members to help them out? Please share your thoughts and opinions in the comment section below.
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