Outrage as a baby is taken without permission - See how the internet is exploding over this family drama!

Navigating the waters of new parenthood can be as treacherous as they are rewarding, with sleepless nights and endless worries often leading to a desperate need for support. But what happens when the very people you turn to for help end up crossing a line that shakes the foundation of trust? This is the tale of a first-time mum whose story ignited a firestorm of debate on Reddit's 'Am I the A——?' forum, after a babysitting incident with her parents left her feeling betrayed and her community divided.



The incident began innocently enough, with a sleep-deprived mother reaching out to her own mother for assistance. It's a scene familiar to many; the exhaustion that comes with caring for a newborn while juggling life's other demands can be overwhelming. In this case, the 30-year-old mum, whose husband was away for work, sought just a few precious hours of uninterrupted sleep. Her only condition was that her mother stay at her home while babysitting, a request made to ease her anxiety about being separated from her 3-month-old baby.


holly-landkammer-KvIZtJX1k4s-unsplash.jpg
Do you think the grandparents' actions crossed the line? Credit: Holly Landkammer / Unsplash


However, the situation took a distressing turn when the mum awoke to find both her baby and her mother missing, along with the stroller. Panic ensued as she searched outside, only to discover that her mother had taken the baby to her own house, a decision made without the mum's consent and, alarmingly, without the safety of a car seat for the short drive. To add insult to injury, a note left by her mother went unseen, buried in the chaos of a sleep-deprived household.



The aftermath of this incident was a breakdown of trust between the mother and her parents. Despite their good intentions, the grandparents' actions were seen as a violation of the mother's wishes, particularly during the vulnerable early stages of motherhood. When the mum voiced her concerns, her feelings were dismissed as 'hormonal,' and her parents insisted they knew better, leaving her feeling invalidated and reluctant to rely on them in the future.

The Reddit community was quick to weigh in on the drama, with many users expressing empathy for the mum's shock and frustration. The grandparents' decision to leave with the baby, especially without proper safety precautions, was widely criticized as a serious breach of trust and safety. Others acknowledged the difficulty in asking for help and how the dismissal of the mum's feelings only exacerbated the situation.

Yet, some Reddit users offered a different perspective, sympathizing with the grandparents' desire to help and questioning whether cutting them off was an overreaction. This highlights the delicate balance that must be struck when grandparents step into the role of babysitters. Trust and communication are paramount, and setting clear expectations is crucial to prevent such misunderstandings.



The story serves as a stark reminder of the importance of a support system, or 'village,' in the early stages of raising a child. However, it also underscores that support must come with respect for boundaries. If help leads to stress or doubt, it's perfectly acceptable to reassess who you lean on and how.

For new mothers, the journey is one of constant learning, and finding the right balance between accepting assistance and maintaining peace of mind is a personal process. As the Reddit mum's experience demonstrates, sometimes it's necessary to hit pause and focus on rebuilding trust before welcoming help once again.

Key Takeaways

  • A first-time mum decided to stop asking her parents for help with her baby after they took the child to their house without permission and without using a car seat.
  • The mum's experience was discussed on Reddit's 'Am I the A——?' forum, where she questioned if her reaction was justified.
  • The incident sparked debate among Redditors, with many emphasising the importance of trust and safety, while others sympathised with the grandparents’ intention to help.
  • The story underlines how crucial trust and clear communication are when grandparents act as babysitters, and that it’s acceptable for parents to set boundaries to maintain their peace of mind.

To our readers, we pose the question: Have you ever faced a similar dilemma with family or friends overstepping boundaries while trying to help? How did you handle the situation, and what advice would you give to new parents navigating these tricky waters? Share your stories and insights in the comments below, and let's support each other in the complex dance of parenthood and personal boundaries.
 

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The mothers only CONDITION was that her mother would babysit the 3month old baby AT HOME. The womans mother is at fault here 100%....she broke her daughters conditions of babysitting her young child and deserved to be called out.....the poor woman would be devastated to find her young baby not at home as she would have expected. It also should be mentioned that her mother should still be allowed to babysit in the future after the two women have a very serious heart to heart conversation.
 
If I am asked to look after my grandkids I do it exactly how their parents say. With the older kids I say “ask mum or dad first” with anything they want to do and with the youngest I would check myself if I needed to take her anywhere. That poor Mum waking to find her baby gone must have been traumatic for her, especially being a new mum.
 
Whilst I acknowledge the mother's wishes were clear and should have been accepted by granny, I have to weigh on a grandma's side of things.
When my first 2 grand children were born, the daughters in law treated it like a military campaign. I think my grandson was past 1 year old before I got a cuddle. Hubby and I had to make appointments to see the kids. Im not talking about un-announced home visits. As an example, we had the hide to toddle along to watch the kiddies learn to swim class. We just sat there taking in the scene, not saying a thing. The 2 daughters in law got together and decided we should have asked permission to go and watch them in a public place.
It was extremely upsetting and they literally ghosted us as if we were strangers.
We kept away from both families for a while to lick our wounds. Then we arranged a get together for a chat.
We laid it all out and told them how they hurt us. I think they realised they were over controlling and things settled down. Mind you, it took us a while to agree to babysit when asked.
Another thing I learned with this, the parents of the mother are quite often given favour over the in-laws. We learned of the differences over time, but, didn't matter in the end. 2nd babies came along and it was a whole different story.
New mums can be controlling. My feeling is, if you cannot trust someone to do as you direct, don't direct. Find someone else to help and is willing to follow the rules.
Ahhh...like sands through the hourglass...
 
Whilst I acknowledge the mother's wishes were clear and should have been accepted by granny, I have to weigh on a grandma's side of things.
When my first 2 grand children were born, the daughters in law treated it like a military campaign. I think my grandson was past 1 year old before I got a cuddle. Hubby and I had to make appointments to see the kids. Im not talking about un-announced home visits. As an example, we had the hide to toddle along to watch the kiddies learn to swim class. We just sat there taking in the scene, not saying a thing. The 2 daughters in law got together and decided we should have asked permission to go and watch them in a public place.
It was extremely upsetting and they literally ghosted us as if we were strangers.
We kept away from both families for a while to lick our wounds. Then we arranged a get together for a chat.
We laid it all out and told them how they hurt us. I think they realised they were over controlling and things settled down. Mind you, it took us a while to agree to babysit when asked.
Another thing I learned with this, the parents of the mother are quite often given favour over the in-laws. We learned of the differences over time, but, didn't matter in the end. 2nd babies came along and it was a whole different story.
New mums can be controlling. My feeling is, if you cannot trust someone to do as you direct, don't direct. Find someone else to help and is willing to follow the rules.
Ahhh...like sands through the hourglass...
It is a sad fact of life that grandchildren always seem to be closer to the grandparents on the mother's side.
I have two sons and this happened to me, my best friend has three sons, same thing and my brother did the same thing to my mother.
The old saying "your son is your son till he takes a wife, your daughter's your
daughter for the rest of your life".

In all these scenarios, on Mother's Day, daughter in laws would go to their mother's place and we would get a phone call late afternoon or evening. Like an after thought.
I told my brother once, after my mother had passed. how much she had been hurt by this, and always felt second best. He was quite upset and sorry when I pointed it out. A bit late.

So guys remember YOUR mother exists as well and it would.be nice if you put her first on the odd occasion.
 
What a DRAMA Queen!! When my daughter had twins 16+yrs ago, I got called upon daily to watch them so she could sleep. I couldn't just sit there and do nothing while babies slept so I cleaned house, did washing, weeded gardens etc.
When babies woke up she would feed them then go back to sleep so I would put bubs in the double pram and go walk about around the streets. She was told before hand that if she woke up and I wasn't there, then I wouldn't be too far away and to ring me and I'd come straight back.
As time passed and the father of the children decided he wasn't cut out for fatherhood and exited stage right when they were 6mths old, the babies ended up at my place more and more until they were more or less living with me. My daughter ended up being diagnosed with severe Post Natal Depression. She finally took them back full time when they turned 10 and now I have no contact with these twins at all.
 
It is a sad fact of life that grandchildren always seem to be closer to the grandparents on the mother's side.
I have two sons and this happened to me, my best friend has three sons, same thing and my brother did the same thing to my mother.
The old saying "your son is your son till he takes a wife, your daughter's your
daughter for the rest of your life".

In all these scenarios, on Mother's Day, daughter in laws would go to their mother's place and we would get a phone call late afternoon or evening. Like an after thought.
I told my brother once, after my mother had passed. how much she had been hurt by this, and always felt second best. He was quite upset and sorry when I pointed it out. A bit late.

So guys remember YOUR mother exists as well and it would.be nice if you put her first on the odd occasion.
Us guys wouldn't be here without her..... ❤️
 
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No I would trust my mother completely even though she may not have adhered to some of today’s requirements. Too much is said of factors that suddenly become issues when trust loyalty and commitment and love are much more important. And if there developed a rift then one would have to assess who would be most damaged by such a rift
 
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What a DRAMA Queen!! When my daughter had twins 16+yrs ago, I got called upon daily to watch them so she could sleep. I couldn't just sit there and do nothing while babies slept so I cleaned house, did washing, weeded gardens etc.
When babies woke up she would feed them then go back to sleep so I would put bubs in the double pram and go walk about around the streets. She was told before hand that if she woke up and I wasn't there, then I wouldn't be too far away and to ring me and I'd come straight back.
As time passed and the father of the children decided he wasn't cut out for fatherhood and exited stage right when they were 6mths old, the babies ended up at my place more and more until they were more or less living with me. My daughter ended up being diagnosed with severe Post Natal Depression. She finally took them back full time when they turned 10 and now I have no contact with these twins at all.
Aw that's not fair. You did all the right things when she needed you. Bless you, you sound like a wonderful Grandma. It's a shame that the kids are now missing out. She was very lucky to have you.
 
It is a sad fact of life that grandchildren always seem to be closer to the grandparents on the mother's side.
I have two sons and this happened to me, my best friend has three sons, same thing and my brother did the same thing to my mother.
The old saying "your son is your son till he takes a wife, your daughter's your
daughter for the rest of your life".

In all these scenarios, on Mother's Day, daughter in laws would go to their mother's place and we would get a phone call late afternoon or evening. Like an after thought.
I told my brother once, after my mother had passed. how much she had been hurt by this, and always felt second best. He was quite upset and sorry when I pointed it out. A bit late.

So guys remember YOUR mother exists as well and it would.be nice if you put her first on the odd occasion.
I am one of the lucky Mums who has the most incredible D.I.L. ever. Not only does she trust me enough to look after my 2 youngest grandsons every lot of school holidays but also had them live here so I could home school them during Covid lock down and the youngest one stayed for 9 wks when he had a spiral fracture of his tibia and was in a wheelchair. Any time I want to take them somewhere all I have to do is ask. She didn't have the greatest childhood growing up and her mother when they still lived interstate would never look after the children for any reason. Her father is married but she doesn't get along with her step mother so I get called on to mind the boys whenever they need it. I treasure the time I get to spend with my grandsons and hope that they will have special memories of they time they spend with me.
 
If I am asked to look after my grandkids I do it exactly how their parents say. With the older kids I say “ask mum or dad first” with anything they want to do and with the youngest I would check myself if I needed to take her anywhere. That poor Mum waking to find her baby gone must have been traumatic for her, especially being a new mum.
I had babysat all 10 of our grandchildren over a period of 21 years and specifically with our daughter (who had 4 of the 10) I daren't step out of line as it would have been HELL. She had everything written down from what to do at what time and how long for. All 4 have now grown up with 2 in their 20's and 2 in their teens and they all live 10 minutes away. I still call in to visit her with some flowers at least once a month to let her know I still love her.💕💞
Now the tables have turned with hubby and I needing a little hand now and then, but no where can she seem to even find time for a phone or txt "R U O K". I'm so pleased that we're blessed with a son and his wife that check in every other week as they're both Paramedics doing shift work looking after the community and their own 3 small children. Some have 'em and some don't. 💕💞❤️
 
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To the all entitled "new mother" get over it, there will be bigger a more important things to worry about. Was the child harmed? Your parents raised you, any complaints?
 
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