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''One, Two, Three Jump''!
A man is driving through the countryside. He sees a sign advertising horses to ride. He thinks, "I haven't ridden one since I was a teenager, so I might have a look" He drives into the farmyard and the farmer is standing there.
He asks, "Can I hire a horse for an hour please?"
The farmer says, "Sure, I'll get you one."
He brings back a massive horse which has a gleam in its eyes.
He mounts the horse.
The farmer says, "Just before you go, this horse is an ex steeplechaser. He loves to jump things. He can jump anything."
The man says, "Great. I used to ride horses over jumps when I was a kid."
The farmer says, "OK, just one thing. Before you come to an obstacle, about ten feet out, yell out, one, two, three, jump!"
The man takes off and thinks, "What a load of bullshit. Saying that to a horse."
He comes to the first of the farmer's fences. He balances, and lifts the horse, expecting to sail over it. Instead the horse ploughs straight through it, destroying the fence and nearly killing them both.
He approaches the second fence, he balances, and lifts the horse, expecting to sail over it. Once again, instead the horse ploughs straight through it, destroying the fence and nearly killing them both.
He comes to the third fence and just before takeoff, He yells, "One, two, three, jump."
The horse glides over the fence, lands like a feather. He has never experienced a jumping horse like this. It was like a ballerina.
He gets back and farmer is waiting, stamping his feet.
"What have you done you bastard. You've destroyed meters of my fences and nearly killed my horse. Did you yell out, one, two three, jump?'
The man thinks he's in trouble so he says, "Of course I did."
The farmer says, "I can't understand it. He always jumps brilliantly as long as you yell, one, two, three, jump."
The man tries to cover his tracks and says, "I'll tell you what's wrong with your bloody horse mate. Your bloody horse is deaf.
The farmer is outraged and screams "How dare you? My horse is not deaf. He's blind!"
