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No Fighting
A traveler stopped over night at the local pub in a village deep in the countryside. In the bar that evening, one of the locals asked him if he was married.
"I'm divorced actually, I never could find a woman that I didn't end up fighting with all the time."
The local man said, "You should go talk to the couple who live in the thatched cottage at the top of the hill on the way out of the village. Rumour has it that they've been married for over 60 years and they've never quarreled in all that time."
"What! That's impossible, everyone fights at some time."
But the local swore fervently that it was true and the traveler was so impressed that he decided to check it out for himself.
So in the morning he knocked on the door of the thatched cottage. The door was answered by an old man who invited him in for a cup of tea. After the traveller explained why he was calling, the old man smiled and nodded.
"It's true, we never fight."
"Please," said the traveler, "can you tell me your secret."
"Well," said the old man, "it all started over 60 years ago, right after the wedding. We were riding our newly bought mule back to town, when it tripped and nearly threw us off.
My bride seized the mule's bridle and, staring fiercely, said, "Right, that's one."
We carried on riding but only a short time later the same thing happened. This time my wife slapped the mule across its muzzle and said, "That's two."
Cautiously we rode on but we hadn't gone more than a mile when the mule tripped again. My wife grabbed the mule's bridle and said, "That's three." Then to my horror, she produced a pistol from under her coat and shot the animal in the head, killing it instantly. I was outraged.
"Good God woman, what do you think you're doing?" I demanded. "You've killed the poor animal, it didn't deserve that and we now have no way to get home. You must be crazy. What do you have to say for yourself?"
She looked into my eyes and said, "That's one."
We've never fought since.
